Traveling Alone

Watching the ball drop

2011-12-31T11:27:00.000-05:00

Growing up, my family never celebrated on New Year's Eve. We went to bed early because we had to wake up at 5 a.m. and driveback to Ohio from our Florida vacation. Bummer, right? If we ever happened to stayed up until midnight, my brothers and I would just stareat the clock to watch it change. Sometimes we would rebel if we were absolutely forbidden to stay up: someone would set the alarm on their watch for 11:58. Take that,Mom and Dad!

Of course, all my life I had heard about this mysterious “ball drop” on NewYear’s Eve. It was what everyone talked about, as if it were the mostmagnificent and suspenseful activity of the year. Why else would everyone getexcited about staying up until midnight? Obviously, I thought, a huge glassball is dropped from 50 stories in the air, and the amazed crowd and televisionaudience watch as it plummets to the ground and shatters into a million gazillion pieces. Woah.

So, at the age of 19, I finally stayed up for New Year’s Eve with somefriends from college. Can you imagine my disappointment and bafflement when Isaw the real ball drop? What the heck? So totally lame.

I don't think I'll ever get excited about the New Year again...

Front page story

2011-12-10T11:53:00.001-05:00

I'm featured on the front page of the Columbus Dispatch today - complete with a color photo (by Tom Dodge). The story is about people who don't own televisions, and I was interviewed not only because I fall in that category, but I also work for a TV station.

To me, not having a TV is so trivial. For the past year, I didn't watch any television shows. Now, I watch about two hours of shows per week online through Hulu.

In the article by Amy Saunders, I compared not owning a TV to not owning a dishwasher - and no one would think to interview me about how I get my dishes clean. Again, has anyone called you crazy for not having a stand mixer or ceiling fan or toaster? No way. I said that a television is just an appliance to me. There are so many other ways to get information and entertainment these days, and I don't think that it should be weird to not have a television. I think I'm ahead of the times.

I challenge you to put your TV in a closet for a week and see what happens. You might find that you like the result (and you can still watch all your favorite shows!).

A note on the photo: This was taken by the Dispatch photographer in the studio at my workplace, and you're seeing a video loop behind me on the monitor. Pretty cool!

Intercontinental driving directions

2011-11-21T21:16:00.001-05:00

So I've been totally missing Lanzhou lately, surprise. I spent a few hours looking at Lanzhou and my other favorite Chinese cities on Google maps, and then I realized I could search directions from my apartment to Lanzhou, China.

Google only gave me one route option: I-90 W, 11,798 mi., 38 days 10 hours. There are 140 steps to the instructions, and it takes me to Seattle, where I then must "Kayak across the Pacific Ocean. Continue straight." I get to stop in Hawaii for a break before continuing to kayak to Japan. My entry point in China is Shanghai, and from there I drive through Nanjing and Xi'an to Lanzhou. Seriously, 38 days? And why must I kayak?

Thank you, Google, for the diversion.

I just can't get past the fact that on Google maps I can see my favorite ginkgo tree outside the international student dorms at Lanzhou University. I love that tree.

My own rage comic

2011-11-07T20:53:00.000-05:00

If you don't know what a rage comic is, you probably don't know what a meme is, either. Feel free to look these up, links provided, before continuing to read :)

I had an experience earlier this evening that I thought could only be expressed through creating my own rage comic. So I did. It's not a true meme because it's basically only related to myself and how I've been writing a lot this past year or so. What I've been writing is all about China and Asia. So with that in mind, enjoy:

So, obviously, the funny part of this story is my absolute shock at seeing the categories of Asian and non-Asian words. I realized nano-seconds later that since I have Asian characters enabled on my computer, Microsoft Word by default includes these categories. There are dozens of Asian words in my document, thank you very much, but they all have red squiggly lines under them. Hm....

And NO, I'm not going to tell you just yet what I'm writing about. Goodness gracious. Patience, please.

You just can't win

2011-10-13T20:32:00.000-04:00

At a staff meeting, my boss relayed this conversation of him talking me up to our parent station in Cleveland:

My boss: And she speaks MANDARIN!
Cleveland: (5 seconds of silence) So...?

What more do you want, people? Hahaha ;)

Intro to Mandopop

2011-09-25T18:03:00.001-04:00

If you haven’t listened to Mandopop, you should give it atry. What is it? Well, the word is a combination of Mandarin (Chinese language) and pop(popular music). Got it? The genre, however, is not limited to mainland China. In fact,most Mandopop artists are from Taiwan.

I love Mandopop because, not only does it help me learn Chinese, it encouragesme to keep learning. Mandopop makes me realize how beautiful the Chineselanguage is, and how the language carries so much cultural depth with it. I want to understand it all.

My Chinese classes and textbooks focused on practical,everyday language. When I would speak to close friends in Chinese, however, Iwas lacking in very important words and concepts: those dealing with feelings.Sure, I could say happy, worried, hungry, tired, excited, etc. But listening to Mandopophas taught me how to express more specific emotions and feelings in Chinese.

On the other hand, Mandopop is heavily criticized for copying Western styles. Mandopopcan be really uncreative and, frankly, horrible-sounding. But there has been atype of come-back recently, and it’s worth wading through the crap to find someunique stuff. I will say, though, that you have to have a really open mind whenyou’re listening to the songs. Don’t think too hard about strangeness of itall. Remember that you’re listening to music from a different culture which hasdifferent ideals, values, and even gender roles than we do in

America

and the West.

Where to start? I have some links below, but in general, checkout Wang Leehom (王力宏) first. Ithink he’s the best out there. The other “greats” in my book are David Tao (陶喆), J.J. Lin (林俊傑), S.H.E., and Jolin Cai (蔡依林). Just search for them on Youtube.

So here’s an example of a really tender, modern love song with a music video that you canunderstand without knowing what the singer is saying. It’s called “She Says”and it’s by J. J. Lin. (I've also seen the title translated as "That's what she said," which makes me laugh.)

And here is a REALLY CRAZY song by Wang Leehom that combines Beijing opera, Chinese minority music, Chinese stringed instruments, andgazillions of other Chinese cultural aspects with Western-style rap. Remember, I warned you. Notice theposters he’s looking at, the tattoo of the opera mask on the girl’s shoulder, andthe three women singing around the microphone. I'm not even going to get into the intricacy of the lyrics. It's seriouslygenius. Try to appreciate it without judging it on Western standards. The song is called "Heroes of the Earth." There's a part in the middle where the lyrics are in English, and it gives you an idea of what the song is about: celebrating China's long history in a modern world. Did I already say it's genius?

What is literary Chinese?

2011-09-19T19:16:00.000-04:00

If you had asked me that last week, I would have given you atextbook-summary answer; something like this: It’s an older form of writtenChinese that, from ancient times and into the 20^th century, wasstudied by the educated class. Specifically, they studied a body of workwritten by early philosophers such as Confucius, Mencius, and others, calledthe Four Books and the Five Classics. Literary Chinese went out of style duringthe revolutionary periods in the early 20^th century. This waslargely because it was seen as elitist; only the rich could afford tutors andhad the time to memorize these works and learn the literary style.

But that says nothing about what literary Chinese actuallyis, or about how it’s different from everyday, conversational Chinese. And whyis it so intimidating?

I had previously assumed that the grammar of literaryChinese was some rigid and complicated form, that the characters used werecrazy ones I’d never seen and are not used today, and that the concepts weretoo foreign for my American mind.

False, false, false.

It’s still freaking difficult, but now I know that I was completely wrong aboutwhy literary Chinese is so dang hard.

Literary Chinese is difficult because there is no set grammatical structure. It’susually fairly obvious, but it does get really tricky with indirect objects!(Who did what to whom?) You also sometimes have to guess the actual meaning ofthe characters. I’m not kidding. A lot of the characters have conflicting, ifnot opposite, meanings. And don’t even get me started on prepositions! Oneparticular preposition can mean both “to” and “from.” Great.

In some sense, I'm starting to think of literary Chinese as a non-language. Think about whatconstitutes a language. What are the elements that it needs? Language: Themethod of human communication (spoken or written) that consists of the use ofwords in a structured and conventional way.

It would be an oversimplification to say that literaryChinese lacks structure and conventions. But it’s pretty close, considering thereader often has to guess the author’s intent.

Anyway, the characters used in literary Chinese are mostlyones I have seen before. Granted, I didn’t use “wise sage” every day when Ilived in China,but I had seen the characters used in other forms. On the other hand, I amlearning traditional characters in conjunction with literary Chinese. (Goodnessgracious, why is Chinese so complicated to explain?!? Simplified characters are what areused in mainland China.They designate more basic strokes for certain radicals/stroke groups in the traditionalcharacters, blah blah blah. It's just a slightly different way of writing the characters.) So in the sense that I’m on the lookout for thedifferences between the familiar simplified and not-so-familiar traditionalcharacters, the characters in literary Chinese are a bit of a challenge. But nothing crazy.

Lastly, I thought that the concepts conveyed in literaryChinese might be “too Chinese” for me to understand. It’s funny, though, howuniversal human emotion and experience can be. I’ll just leave you with thisbit of ancient Chinese wisdom:

One who understands fate does not resent the heavens; onewho understands himself does not resent others. (知命者不怨天，知己者不怨人。)

I would rather die than...

2011-09-18T21:06:00.001-04:00

… learn literary Chinese. Literary Chinese was something I swore I wouldnever touch. My shallow understanding of it was based on a few tortured warningcries that I encountered while studying “regular” (simplified, Mandarin)Chinese.

In my text books for regular, simplified (modern,conversational) Mandarin Chinese, there would be one or two verses of literaryChinese thrown in there for good measure. It wasn’t something I was tested on in class,and we would only spend a few minutes on it. So I graciously let myastute Korean classmates read aloud these lines of literary Chinese text, tothe gentle applause of the teacher.

They were just waaaaaay too difficult. To reiterate, I didnothing more than glance at them and know that they were above my head: Ididn’t know any of the characters in them, and if, by chance, I did know a fewcharacters, they were apparently used in different ways than I had learned inregular, simplified, modern, conversational Mandarin Chinese.

My second point of contact with literary Chinese was invarious discussions with native Chinese friends. As in, “Oh, yeah, this conversation istotally reminding me of that one saying: blah blah blah,” and a stream of unintelligibleChinese rambling would spew forth in which I could not even pick out one singlecharacter to get the gist of what this person was talking about.

I thought I would rather die than delve into literary Chinese.

So, as typical with my current state of mind and habits…you guessed it… I’m starting to dabble in literary Chinese. You don't know you hate something until you actually give it a shot, right?

The end of the calendar

2011-09-01T21:35:00.000-04:00

When I moved to Columbus this time last year, I made my own calendar. I had some photographs that were part of a MySoularium kit I got in college, and I chose different images to paste on colored paper, one for each month. The photos in the kit are supposed to evoke memories and emotions that anyone can relate to, and I found it interesting that the photos I had selected for each month one day last August so perfectly fit my mentality for each month during this past year. (Actually, I'm more inclined to believe that seeing one particular image every day shaped my mentality, but either way...)

Just as some examples, last September’s image was a girl writing in the park. During that month I went to the park every weekend and wrote 40 pages of what may someday become a book. November was a picture of a misfit, and that’s when I started orientation for the program I’m in at work, and at the beginning I felt like I didn’t really belong in the group. In July I was busy preparing for the big interview and that month’s image was of a girl walking up an escalator. In relation to that image, I felt I was making an extra effort to move up, and I was glad I wasn’t just standing still and letting myself be carried to the next level without working for it. This August’s image was of a girl in perhaps a subway station running and reaching out her hand for someone else’s. All of last month I was thinking, Will I be able to grasp that figurative hand? No :)

I woke up this morning to turn the page of my calendar, and I should have remembered that I only created it for one year. Bummer. This is how the Mayans might have felt...

Finally, some direction in life

2011-08-29T21:07:00.000-04:00

I feel so good about life right now. The future, in particular. See, I’ve basically been searching in vain for some direction or something higher to work toward my whole life. And I’ve never really gotten any direction or any idea that I really felt good about.

I could take this story back to elementary school, but I’ll spare you and start with one recent life example – what you probably know me for: studying in China. I did that in the first place because I wanted to test my limits. I wanted to fail at something. I did not prepare for that first trip to China, and that was the point. I imagined myself stranded somewhere on the Yellow River, failing at life, and possibly coming home early. I seriously wanted to fail. I didn’t think I could learn the language, and I imagined myself only picking up some spoken Chinese because that language is so crazy, especially the written characters. Obviously, I exceeded my own expectations. That was one of the best times in my life, and I learned so much. Hm, is failing at failing still considered failing?

So after that, I had no idea what to do with myself. And I still didn’t, until Friday. For those of you who know me personally, you might already know that I went to the nation’s capital for an interview that was the culmination of a very long application and acceptance process with the federal government.

Well, I failed at it. Completely failed. I was in way over my head. I knew it from the moment I began the first exercise of the day, but knowing it only pushed me harder to do my best and to see if, just maybe, I could overcome my inadequacies. I’m really proud of how I did and what I did, even though I failed. I can’t stress to you how much I failed, or how totally thrilled I am that I failed.

Suddenly, I have some direction in life. The people I met in D.C. were, most of them, at least in their 30s, were lawyers and engineers, and had gone through this particular interview process before. Simply by meeting them I was shown some steps to take to accomplish what I want in life – whatever that might turn out to be. Now I see where I need to go, what I need to do, and even more of what I’m capable of.

My whole life, I've felt a little bit like I was just hanging out in the swimming pool, so for once it was great to feel like I was drowning in the ocean. I was totally drowning, but I saw the shore off in the distance. And now I know which way to go.

While the group of other interviewees and I were waiting to hear the results, I said to everyone, "This, right here, is a really great place to be. We will all have life-before-the-interview, and life-after-the-interview. It changes everything, but this moment in between is wonderful." I'm not sure if anyone else agreed with me, because they were all nervous as heck. I'm not the same any more, though. And I don't ever want to be.

P.S. This is my 200th blog post! Woah! Thanks for sticking with me :)

To be hungry

2011-08-16T20:46:00.000-04:00

I got off the bus today and crossed the street to my apartment. An older woman with a cane was also crossing, slowly and feebly. As I raced past her on my able legs, I could hear her moaning. Her appearance and the intensity of that sound struck me, and in the dead center of the busy road, I grabbed her arm and said, "It will be okay."

What? It will be okay?

I don't know why I said that. The traffic waited for us to make it safely to the other side of the road, and there the lady whispered to me.

"I don't want to ask for help."
"What do you need?"
"I don't want to ask for help."
I said it again: "It will be okay."

Finally, she began to cry and told me she hadn't eaten for two days and she couldn't afford her diabetes medication.

"Do you have some change? I just want a burger."

A burger?

I usually (honestly) don't have change, but today I had $1.10. I gave it to her, and then I remembered exactly what it feels like to be hungry. Thank you, Ramadan.

I said to wait there at the bus stop, and I promised her I'd be back. Up in my apartment, I scavenged for food to give her. I felt like I didn't have anything appropriate. My food stores consist mainly of raw vegetables, couscous and quinoa, dry chickpeas, and dry granola.

I grabbed a brown lunch bag and threw in a can of corn, about a bowl's worth of cereal in a plastic bag, half of loaf of rye bread, some pretzels, an apple, and a banana. I really didn't know what else to give her.

It reminded me of that Bible verse that asks what type of father would give his son a snake when the son asked for a fish. I don't know exactly what Jesus was getting at there.

But what I'm getting at is that I'm not sure if I would have helped her if the memory of being hungry had not been so fresh in my mind. Maybe if this had been last week, I would have only given her my change and insisted that it would be okay...

Ramadan Wrap Up

2011-08-14T19:38:00.000-04:00

Maybe. Maybe it's a wrap up. I just have a lot I could write about, so this "wrap up" might come in installments. We'll see :)

Overall, my experience was wonderful. There wasn't anything that I didn't like about my observance of Ramadan, but there are aspects that I can be critical of.

I love how the focus during Ramadan is on family and friends. The iftar meal each night is a chance for different families to host and be guests of each other. It's really a community celebration, even - and especially - when not done at the mosque. Side note here: I had briefly thought about continuing my experience, but it is truly pointless to observe on one's own. Fasting all day only to eat some cereal by myself at 8:33 at night does not make any sense. The point, again, is community.

I also appreciate the true focus on what Islam means, both globally and to Muslims personally. Contrary to how I perceive that Christian holidays have slowly lost meaning over time, what I saw of Ramadan leads me to believe that it is solely about the religion and the Muslim community. There's no way around it. Muslims are supposed to read the entire Quran during the month, and long sections are read out loud at the mosque each night. No one misses prayers during Ramadan. It's not okay to skip them during this month. There's no room for half-heartedness. And the fact that the strict observance lasts for 30 days solidifies commitment to the religion. It's would be a different matter if it only lasted a week or so. I should also mention charitable giving and helping those in need - part of the reason for fasting, my friend said, is to know what it is like to be hungry and to have true empathy for the poor - and then to do something about it.

My critique of all of this is what I perceive as legalism. I kept thinking things like, "How cruel is it to forbid drinking water! You can't even miss one prayer? Why is it necessary to wake up at 5 a.m. and not simply eat breakfast when you wake up and fast the rest of the day? Why are there so many rules?!?!?" The answer to these questions, though, is that the strict observance keeps Islam true to its roots. My Muslim friends stress that above everything else. The reason for all of the rules and stipulations and strictness is so that Islam does not drastically change over time. (And that is something that I personally struggle with in regard to Christianity - that I believe it has changed into something that was not originally intended.)

And now for a discussion of women and hijab. I think hijab is great. It's not mandatory to wear it. Each woman makes the decision for herself. (Obviously, some countries and cultures have their own rules, but I'm speaking generally.) Some women never "veil." Women who do wear hijab are taught not to look down on those who do not. My friend said to me, in reference to a multitude of subjects like showing feet during prayer and how to place your hands, that each Muslim has his or her own view of what is right or wrong in regard to the smaller details of the religion, and it is what is in the heart that matters. So a woman who does not wear hijab may be a "better" Muslim in her heart than a woman who wears hijab and thinks herself better than others.

And now I'm going to get personal and vulnerable: I said I think hijab is great, and I don't just mean that I think hijab is great for Muslim women. I truly, honestly loved every minute of wearing it. I have struggled lately with people's perception of me. I don't struggle with who I am or what I stand for, but rather when people misjudge me or talk down to me because I am different from what is expected in society - that I am introverted or don't drink, as examples - I internally respond negatively to those people (which I know is the wrong attitude). When I was wearing hijab, however, I did not feel those same perceptions. To put it another way, when I wore hijab, I was perceived in the way that I wish to be perceived. I felt respected. I felt like I did not have to explain who I am. Head coverings are not just a Muslim expression, and I think it's important to consider that. I felt protected wearing hijab. I did not receive any catcalls from men in cars, as is wont to happen on the east side of town. No one was rude to me, as sometimes inexplicably happens on the bus. Instead, children smiled and waved at me. Adults gave me the sweetest, most touching looks, and I felt tenderness emanating from them. I feel that I radiated a positive attitude and a sense of peace. The world would be a better place if that persisted everywhere, would it not?

Even though I didn't fast today, I wore a loose scarf over my head to the grocery store. Note: Hijab is different from just tying a scarf; Hijab covers the hair and hides the neck, which I felt was bothersome and restrictive. Plus, you have to pin it, which is just a pain. So what I wore today showed my hairline and was very loose and drape-y around my neck. Anyhow. I think that covering my head is an expression of who I am. Some people have unique hairstyles or wear bright colors or have painted nails or a tattoo or piercings or a particular style of dress or a certain car or house... the list could go on. Wearing a head covering has nothing to do with religion. People wear hats and headbands, or artistically tie scarves on their heads all the time. I have never felt more myself than when covering my head.

And I'm not sure what to do about that.

A relaxing iftar

2011-08-14T09:58:00.001-04:00

Last night I went to my friend's apartment for the evening sunset meal (iftar) for Ramadan. She is an American Muslim and is engaged to a Palestinian man. Their two mutual friends were there - another Palestinian guy and an American Catholic who is fasting with his friends for the entire month.

My friend had spent all day cooking: A baked whole chicken, roasted lamb with chickpeas, russet potatoes, green beans, basmati rice, watermelon, and a wonderful spinach salad. I brought some mocha brownies and ice cream for dessert, and there was also turtle cheesecake, almond cake, and white chocolate mocha trifle. Wow. I tried to rationalize my gluttony with, "I haven't eaten ALL DAY...!" Ha.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. We initially broke the fast at exactly 8:33 with dates and water. The evening was much more relaxed than the previous night at the mosque. In fact, after the dates and water we immediately filled our plates with the meal and didn't pray until the very last minute. I think we were actually a little late...

(There is a start time for each of the five prayers, and you have until the next prayer time to do that prayer. So 8:33 p.m. is when you can start the sundown prayer, and you have until around 10:00 p.m. to complete that prayer. At about 10:00 is another prayer, so you have until the next morning around 5:00 a.m. to do that one. Make sense?)

After the meal we talked, watched parts of movies and got seconds of dessert. Since my friend and I were the only women, I felt a little awkward hanging out with just the guys, so I convinced my friend to let me help her clean up!

She and I did the sundown prayer in her room together, and then the guys (except the Catholic) did theirs alone in her study room. Then, since we had run up into the 10:00 p.m. one, we all did that one together in the same room.

After the prayer we had some homemade spiced chai and talked until after midnight. The conversation was about what is and is not haram, or impermissible, in Islam. It was more of a philosophical debate, and it was very interesting. Some topics included dating and marrying non-Muslims and whether it matters whether it's a male or female who is the Muslim and whether smoking cigarettes and/or smoking hookah are okay (conclusion: Okay! We used the hookah pipe last night, haha!). Then the conversation moved to the subject of jin which are a separate creation from humans but are not demons - this topic got really creepy, and we merged it with stories about scary dreams we've had, and shadow people, yikes! We also talked about evolution, including mutations, adaptations, micro-evolution, and Judeo-Christian vs. Muslim beliefs on the subject. Whew!

Another reason I felt the iftar was really relaxed is because my friend wore a loose hijab. When women are with family and close friends, they don't have to be as strict as in public. She had a thin scarf draped over her head without pinning it, and it flowed beautifully around her face. I still kept mine pinned closely because I didn't want to mess with it, take out the pins, etc. Plus, I really didn't know these people that well. Honestly, I was not concerned with my appearance!

It was great to just hang out with young Muslims from all different backgrounds. I understand much better what it's like for them to be in America and to be misunderstood. When my friend hears someone say something awful like, "Muslims just need to go back to where they came from!" she can only laugh it off because she is FROM here. And the Palestinians? "If we had somewhere to go, we would be there."

Muslims are people just like you and me. They come from all different backgrounds. Even devout Muslims who pray five times per day and fast during the month of Ramadan live normal lives, hanging out with friends, watching movies, doing hookah, eating way too much dessert...

I'm glad I got to participate in both a proper iftar at the mosque, and a casual iftar at my friend's place. As for my two days of fasting, it really wasn't that big of a challenge, although it was fabulous to wake up this morning at a normal hour for breakfast :)

Ramadan: Day Two (?!)

2011-08-13T10:34:00.000-04:00

On Friday night, my friend and I broke the fast and feasted at the mosque. An important element of Ramadan, however, is to invite close friends to do the same in one's own home. My friend is hosting tomorrow night, and she invited me to celebrate with her again.

So, as I did yesterday, I woke up at 5:00 a.m. today for some oatmeal and then went back to sleep. I will continue fasting today and go to my friend's apartment this evening. She has invited her fiance and two or three other friends - one other besides myself is not a Muslim. I'm going to be bringing dessert, and I'm going to make mocha truffle brownies with caramel sauce. All I can think of is: How am I going to bake those without tasting them and licking the bowl? Haha :)

Actually, a second thought I'm having is: I'm going to get so much done today because I won't be spending time cooking and eating! To do list: Laundry, cleaning, reading...

Breaking the fast

2011-08-13T09:57:00.000-04:00

After work today, I came home, took off my pink-striped hijab, and changed into pajamas. I took a nap, and it was wonderful. My stomach had been hurting, I had had a headache, and I was tired. When I woke up two hours later, I changed into a bright blue scarf - a gift from my best friend from when she went to Israel. (Thanks, Chris!) I also put on a tunic-style shirt over my jeans so that I wouldn't need to worry about my back showing during prayer at the mosque. Unfortunately, I pinned my scarf a little too tightly and it bothered me the entire evening. During the day, I had not had this problem...

When my friend and I got to the mosque around 8:30, we entered a cafeteria-like room crowded with women and children, and we found seats at a table in the back. (The men were in an adjacent room.) There were napkins, cups, spoons, and jugs of water on each table... and in the center of each table was a plate of dates. They were mesmerizing. Prayers were being piped in through speakers on the wall, and as soon as those were through, we all took a date and ate it slowly. I'd never eaten a date before, and it was glorious. Apparently dates contain a very high amount of potassium, which helps with hydration.

(Ramadan is celebrated to reflect the time when the prophet Muhammad received the words of the Quran, and he ate dates and drank water to break his fast. Today, the fast is broken each night in this way.)

After this small nourishment, the sunset prayers were done as a group in the main rooms of the mosque. There were so many people there. So many. The men pray on the first floor, in a huge room in which one person at the front with a microphone leads the prayers. The women and children are on the second floor, which overlooks the men's area on the first floor. Both areas are carpeted in a certain pattern that designates individual spots for prayer. Basically, the carpet patterns are shoulder-width apart in even lines that allow enough room for prostration.

The actual prayer is led in Arabic, and consists of a series of motions. Standing with arms against the stomach, bending at the waist, standing again, prostrating, kneeling, prostrating, standing, and repeating this different numbers of times based on the time of day.

After the sunset prayer was the feast. We returned to the dining area where we had eaten the dates, and we were served plates heaped with lamb meat, roasted chicken, rice, different sauces and stews, nan, salad... so delicious. I kept thinking that someone had made all of this food, but hadn't even been able to try it. I was lucky to be busy in an office all day and not thinking about food... but being in a kitchen with all those delicious smells?

After this meal, there was about an hour to kill before the next prayer time, so my friend and I went... to McDonald's for coffee. We knew it was ridiculous, but we had some great conversation, and she explained to me a lot more about what was happening at the mosque.

And finally, back at the mosque, we did more group prayers. My friend had explained that these would be a little different than the normal ones that I had just finally learned. The leader of the prayers would read the Quran in Arabic throughout, and the idea is to read the entire book over the course of the 30 days. This usually goes on for over 3 hours per evening of Ramadan, but we only stayed for the first hour or so. This time, the rooms were even more crowded. We prayed in an overflow room with lots of women and children.

I mentioned the speakers on the walls of the rooms; every room and area in the mosque has these speakers so that everyone can hear not only the calls to prayer, but also be involved in whatever is happening at the mosque at any time. So even in our overflow room, we felt very connected to what was happening in the main area.

The atmosphere the entire evening was mixed. Everyone was hungry and tired. Hungry and tired mothers struggled to control their hungry and tired children, who were constantly shrieking. When the food was being served, some people were rude or demanding. But at the same time, there was an overwhelming attitude of celebration, gratefulness, and that of wanting to help others. Ramadan is a time when every good deed done by a Muslim during that month will be magnified in the afterlife. It's like a race or contest to do the most good things with the best attitude possible in your heart.

I learned a lot about myself through this experience. It also solidified in my mind some of the values that I stand for and why, including modesty. I actually appreciate that men and women are so separate at the mosque. I never once thought about how I looked or appeared. The focus was only on attitude, and that was wonderful.

Mid-day update

2011-08-12T13:51:00.000-04:00

This morning felt a little unreal because of all the waking, then sleeping, then waking, etc. Fasting and wearing hijab have been uneventful. I think my level of self control and discipline on a daily basis are extremely high, so the most difficult part of my experience so far has been keeping focus on why I'm doing this.

I don't really care what people think of me or how they perceive me. Other than my coworkers, I haven't come into contact with anyone else I know. There have just been some double-takes in the hallway, like the maintenance guy I always say hello to.

The point isn't to look different or to stand out, but rather to learn and to help me focus on what should be important to me. And let me tell you how wonderful it is to walk down the street and know that people are not judging me based on appearance. Let's be real - whenever you see a person, you automatically put them in a category: good-looking or not. Today, I feel like people are looking at me and saying, "She's probably a nice person." Which creates its own problem in my mind, because I don't know if they're right. But at least they aren't checking me out.

I'm trying to be a nice person. It's something that I honestly have not been too concerned with lately. Living alone and pursuing a career can make you selfish... but at the same time, I guess I'm the only one who truly sees it. Look at how much I'm learning already today.

Tonight I'm going to the mosque, and I will definitely be writing about the following: the atmosphere, what food we break the fast with (I have no idea what it will be), and reflection on the day.

Do you have any questions or thoughts? Please share.

Ramadan question:

2011-08-11T21:34:00.000-04:00

Caitlin, is your observance of one day of Ramadan insulting to Muslims?

No. Everyone I have met welcomes participation and interest in their religion. More importantly, we need to stop viewing Islam as "other." Do we get insulted by those who go to church only on Christmas and Easter? Do we call out as hypocrites those who pray to God only in the hardest times of their lives? What about people who wear crosses or get them tattooed to their bodies because they like how the cross looks or because they see symbolism in the object? See what I mean... we shouldn't judge Muslims and Islam the way we have been taught in our culture.

Muslims, like those of other religions, believe that it is your heart and attitude that matter. I'm not doing this day for "fun" or because it's cool. Like I said in my last post, I want to learn and experience it, and I want to show outward respect for my Muslim friends. To reiterate, have you ever gone to church just because someone you respect invited you? Have you prayed for a loved one because they believed, even if you didn't? To me, the concepts are the same.

Preparing for a day of Ramadan

2011-08-11T21:13:00.000-04:00

I’m going to be observing one day of Ramadan with a Muslim friend tomorrow. Ramadan is a month-long period of fasting during daylight hours, and this year it falls during August.

When I went to (a Christian) high school, we often discussed Ramadan, and Islam for that matter. I used to think Ramadan was a sham because you can totally eat and drink before sunrise and after sundown. Cheating. Lame. Foot in mouth.

I should also remind my readers that when I was in high school, Ramadan fell during the winter. Much shorter day!

But it’s still not going to be easy.

Tomorrow I’m going to be waking up at 5:00 a.m. to make and eat breakfast – probably something like oatmeal! Since I’m not a Muslim and don’t know Arabic, I’m not going to actually do the Fajr prayer at 5:15 a.m., but I will at that time meditate on what Islam means.

Then I will go back to sleep.

At 6:38 a.m. is the sunrise prayer.

After this, I will probably go back to sleep until 8:00, even though I usually wake up at 6:15 to go for a walk/run and do things around the apartment before work. But tomorrow, I don’t want to be tempted to eat before work at 9:00.

I’m going to be wearing hijab, or a head covering, as well as fasting. The Ramadan practice is to obviously not eat anything, but also to not drink. Water is acceptable only if absolutely necessary and if done in private.

I let my coworkers know about the hijab, because wouldn’t that be awkward if I hadn’t said a thing? I think they probably wouldn’t recognize me at first, and then I’d have a ton of explaining to do all at once. I really don’t want any attention tomorrow.

I sent a brief email to all 12 or so of my coworkers this afternoon, and everyone has been very supportive – not that I expected any differently. What I’m doing is really not that big of a deal, anyway… but seriously, I had to at least mention that/why I’m going to look different tomorrow.

Anyway, the next prayer time after 6:38 a.m. is 1:38 p.m. Since I’m not taking a lunch break, I’ll take a moment to meditate again and reflect on the day and what Islam means to me.

In the evening, after a nap at home, I’m going with my friend to the mosque – the same one I went to earlier this year. The 8:37 p.m. Maghrib prayer is when the sun goes down, so afterward everyone eats together, and then sticks around for the 10:02 p.m. Isha prayer, the fifth and final one of the day.

Now the big question is: Why am I doing this?

First of all, I was invited to the evening at the mosque, which I immediately accepted. And then I thought it would be hypocritical and rude if I didn’t fast all day. More importantly, I just want to. Islam – cultural Islam in particular – has really played a huge role in my life the past few years. Out of respect for my friends and what they have brought to my life, I am observing one day of Ramadan. I want to dig deeper into who I am, what I stand for, and how Islam has impacted how I view the world. I have a great respect for the religion and my Muslim friends.

Television News - Why are you talking to me like that?

2011-07-23T23:30:00.001-04:00

I wanted some more information on the horrific shooting and bombing in Oslo, so I naturally went to the internet. I had read about the incidents in the newspaper this morning, and it was weighing on my mind all day.

I found a link to an American television newscast and decided to watch it. I hadn't seen a television newscast for a long time. A very long time. (Yes, I work in video production, but it's web-based and also not news.)

Like I said, hearing about what happened in Oslo has really affected me and I am sad that something so awful has happened there. That was the reason that I got online - because I care and wanted to know more. But as the newscast started to play, I could not concentrate on the information being given by the anchor and the on-site reporter. I could not get past their ridiculous sentence structure, asinine intonation, and poor word-choice ("The city of Oslo is shattered..." Um, literally. Kind of insensitive.)

It's awful to confess, but I laughed out loud. You think I'm horrible, but I couldn't get over the fact that this guy was walking down the freaking street and gesticulating at the camera like a Shakespearean actor. I actually wondered for a moment whether I was watching a news spoof video.

After I got my giggles out, I spent half an hour somberly reading the in-depth BBC news coverage, so I hope you all can forgive me for laughing.

The point of this post: Does anyone else find television newscasts insultingly absurd? Do the "personalities" distract you from the gravity of a story, or even from the information itself?

How do you prefer to get your news? I enjoy my weekend newspaper with coffee, but my first source is listening to NPR while getting ready in the morning and doing dishes at night.

Pegged as an Outsider

2011-06-05T20:48:00.000-04:00

In reference to my previous post about wearing hijab to the mosque, I found myself on the opposite side of a situation that I initiate all the time – It’s me who is usually the one who awkwardly asks people where they’re from.

Example: At the Asian festival in Columbus, I spoke with a woman at a stall selling traditional Chinese art. I could tell by her accent that she was probably from Beijing, or at least northern China. I told her I was interested in the Chinese paper cuttings, and that I had lived in Lanzhou, Gansu. We chatted about western China for a while, and then that dreaded moment came.

“Where are you from?”

“Michigan.”

“Welcome to Ohio!” I said, and left it at that.

I find myself in this situation all the time, and I know that it’s me who is at fault. I’m genuinely curious about other languages and cultures - I’m not judging people for having an accent or different customs. But citizenship, nationality, and identity are touchy subjects for most people.

Another example: I met a woman from Uzbekistan a few weeks ago. When I first asked where she was from, her answer was "Well, I was born in Asia, then my family moved to Russia, and now I live in Cincinnati." We had been talking for about 10 minutes when I realized she must be from Kyrgyzstan or Uzbekistan, so I asked, "Which Asian country were you born in?" She was so surprised that I was familiar with her country!

So my turn came at Masjid Noor, a mosque in Dublin. I was washing my hands in the bathroom when a teenager smiled at me in the mirror. I smiled back and said hi.

“Where are you from?” she asked me.

I was completely caught off guard, not only by the words of her question, but by her unspoken assumption that I was different.

“I’m from Columbus.”

“Oh, cool. Did you come with someone today?”

“Yeah, I came with my friend. We work together.”

Being on the other side helps me to understand better. It made wonder what reasons the girl had for (correctly) guessing that I didn’t quite belong. But at the same time, I recognized her interest in me and my story for how I ended up at the conference at Masjid Noor. And then she hit me with this one:

“You look really beautiful in hijab.”

The First Time I Wore Hijab

2011-06-04T10:26:00.000-04:00

I can tell a good friend by how she suggests we spend time together. I got this text at work yesterday:

“I’m going to a conference tonight at Masjid Noor and was wondering if you’d like to come. There’s going to be some really great speakers. Let me know.”

Movies, a bar, shopping… not so much. A conference? On Islam? Heck yes. Friends for life.

“So I wanted to let you know, in case you were wondering, that you do not need to cover your hair at the Masjid. You can if you’d like, but it’s your decision, and totally ok if you don’t want to : )”

She came over after work and we ate portabella mushroom salad, and then I put on hijab. It was so normal, and that’s what I’m writing about. I put it on and walked out the door. We went to the bank and chatted with a woman at the ATM. I don’t even think she noticed my head covering. So normal. We drove to the mosque. All the women were in hijab, so of course it was normal. We did salat. So normal. We listened to a speaker. We did salat again, because it was that time. Another speaker. And salat. And a speaker. Beautiful.

Have you ever learned so much in one evening, yet you feel like you knew it all along?

LeBron James - Censored

2011-04-27T21:37:00.000-04:00

(Now I have your attention.)

One endeavor that I am passionate about is attempting to show that censorship in the Chinese media is not always a horrific act. And by trying to prove that point, the greater issue is that Americans can be hypocritical about condemning the Chinese government.

I’m reading some books about the rapid development of the Chinese economy since the 1980s, and some examples stick out to me in relation to government censorship. The authors were obviously not focusing on that aspect, which lets the situations speak for themselves all the more. On the subject of the power of foreign brands in China, Karl Gerth writes:

“This ongoing tension over the seductive power of foreign names has led to some official policies to resist it. Paris of the East Plaza, French Gardens, and the Ginza Office Tower are a few of the real estate developments forced to change their names by authorities in the southwestern city of Kunming. The city decided that the trend of attracting China’s new middle class by giving new developments foreign-sounding names served to debase traditional culture and ‘is a loss to native culture and reflects poor taste.’ Officials sometimes also take action against advertising that they find disrespectful. In 2004, the government banned a Nike commercial featuring U.S. basketball superstar LeBron James outwitting a kung fu master, citing the ad campaign’s disrespectful use of the traditional symbol of dragons. Likewise, in 2003, Toyota created a controversy with an ad for a new Land Cruiser by showing stone lions, traditional symbols of authority, bowing to the vehicle. According to one ad industry executive, ‘The government sees itself as a guardian of people’s dignity and, every so often, it picks a victim to attack in the interests of nationalism.’” (From As China Goes, So Goes the World)

The United States has its own set of laws and regulations regarding decency (such as FCC regulations on swearing and nudity), so why do we get in a fuss about China doing the same? Is it because we don’t understand their culture, or because we think our way is simply better than theirs? If the examples quoted above seem silly or arbitrary to you, I challenge you to think about what sense of culture you have personally, and if you can come up with an answer, what lengths would/should you go to protect that?

Food Deserts

2011-04-17T21:49:00.000-04:00

I live a food desert, something that’s getting a lot of attention in the news lately. (I prefer food desserts, which is eating cookies for dinner, but that’s a different blog post altogether.)

There isn’t, in my opinion, a good definition for “food desert,” but it’s basically a place where healthy, affordable food is hard to get. That’s totally relative, and one key that everyone seems to be missing is access. Example: There aren’t grocery stores in suburban neighborhoods. But those who live in the suburbs choose to live there and have cars. No one thinks twice about access to food.

(I was talking to a friend about this topic, and she was like, “Yeah, I totally live in a food desert, too. I have to drive, like, 5 minutes to get to a grocery store, and I’m like, OMG, I only need some organic soy milk. Like WTF, put a store closer!” Um… I think you’re totally missing the whole point???)

So as I was saying, in the so-called food deserts, access to the healthy, affordable food is the problem. Example: The nearest grocery store is maybe a mile or two away, but the residents don’t have cars to get there. It’s impractical to take toddlers in strollers on that long walk, for example, and I can tell you from experience that bags of apples, potatoes, and canned vegetables are really heavy. So this is where the problem starts – that it’s more convenient to go to the corner gas station or liquor store and buy unhealthy and more expensive food. (And then it’s more difficult to save up to buy a car, to move to a better location, or to otherwise change the various situations - a huge downward spiral.)

While we’re talking about convenience, I would just like to conveniently point out this convenience store that’s on my convenient bus route to Kroger. (Sign enlarged for your convenient inspection.)

Convinent. What?

But back to the point.

Who decided that having a car is an American right? What’s wrong with not having a car? There’s this certain attitude of pity and condescension about frequent bus usage going around. Like my last post suggested, some people believe that privileged white girls should not be riding the bus with all the riffraff (other than to commute to and from work downtown, when only the white and privileged are passengers). I’m kind of sick of this mindset.

And now back to the main point. I choose to live this way, and it's really fulfilling. I feel guilty, a lot of times, that my lifestyle is a type of game, a test, a challenge for myself – just one more way to learn something new and see the world from a different perspective. And as I’m looking around at the families around me, I see that not everyone else living this way has a choice about it. It’s not a game, and they can’t just get out of it at any time. I wonder if I would be happy if it weren’t my own decision.

Please Judge Me

2011-04-11T21:13:00.000-04:00

“Ask that girl. Dude, ask her.”

It’s just another Friday night, and I’m waiting for the bus, pretending that I’m not being gawked at by some teenagers. I can’t tell whether they’re male or female: late teens, baggy clothes, hats and sunglasses. They’re laughing and seem good natured. It takes me back to high school and even college – just laughing with friends like there’s no one else around.

I’m listening to their conversation because I have nothing better to do. “Gawd, I’mma tired. When’ll this damn bus come?” And, “Dude, I need some WEED!”

And then I hear it again, like a dare, “Just ask that girl.”

One of them takes a step toward me. I’ve been pretending this whole time that I’m invisible. I don’t see them, and they don’t see me. Like when you’re a kid and you pretend you’re asleep so your dad will carry you upstairs.

“Miss! Hey, miss.”

The kid steps toward me, so I have no choice but to look him (her?) in the eye, and I can’t help but think he probably didn’t have a dad who carried him upstairs to bed.

“Miss, I was wondering..."

But I don’t let him finish.

“I think you already know that I don’t have any weed,” I say, firmly at first, but then I can’t help but grin at the absurdity of it.

The kid is just a few feet from me when he lunges back toward his friends, losing the courage he had to approach me. He’s doubled up with laughter and hiding his face out of shyness. They’re all laughing, and so am I.

“We just… want to know… the time,” they’re saying at once, gasping for air.

It is extremely hilarious, given the contrast.

“Miss, what’re you doin ridin the COTA?” the weed kid asks me, completely incredulous. I guess girls like me aren’t supposed to ride the bus at 9:15 at night.

I feel like someone punched me in the stomach.

“I always do,” I say feebly. But that isn’t even close to answering what he was asking.

We talk for a while, and they won’t stop calling me “miss,” even after I tell them my name.

And I think I might cry, but not because this is a story about a little white girl who earns the black kids’ respect because she rides the bus like they do. It’s not that; I’ll never pretend to understand them.

I’m going to cry because it’s a story about some sweet kids on the street corner who think that they will always deserve to be on that street corner waiting for the bus.

*This happened to me in February, and I can't get it out of my mind.*

A Different Side to the Story

2011-02-23T19:30:00.008-05:00

Ok, what the heck, right?
Here's a translation of what's going on.

The first line of text sets the stage: On Feb. 20, 2011, the American ambassador Jon Huntsman was at this Jasmine Revolution protest site in Beijing, and he was heard chanting in favor of the revolution. ("Let the revolution lead the way" type of thing.)

*Just a note here: I obviously can't confirm or deny that this was Jon Huntsman. Let's just go with it for the sake of the video!

Next is the remarks from two Chinese people, presumably behind the camera.

"Do you hope China will be in chaos?" (This question is directed at Huntsman.)
"This is the American ambassador in China!"

Next comes the red graphic and lines of text with some leading questions:
"Is this a maneuver to incite a Chinese “color revolution?”
Why is the American ambassador at the site making a farce by encouraging and cheering it on?
Who knows, but it was captured online."

Ok, now for the rest of the video in front of McDonald's. Here's the conversation:
“Excuse me, American ambassador, what did you run out here to do?”
“I just came to watch a little," Huntsman says.
“Is it that you hope China will be in chaos?”
“It cannot be,” says Huntsman.
“Aren’t you the American ambassador?" (No response.)
"This is the American ambassador to China!”
“None of you guys know?” (I think he's asking the crowd to confirm.)
“Don’t pretend you don’t know!” (Directed at Huntsman)
“You’re concealing that you understand and are pretending to be confused, aren’t you?” (Directed at Huntsman)
(Then the ambassador and his group walk away.)

Now back to the flashy text:
"It’s true! China’s problems are many! To reform the people’s livelihood, morals, beliefs, we have heavy anxiety.
But we don’t want to become Iraq!
We don’t want to become Tunisia!
We don’t want to become Egypt!
This country in chaos - 1.3 billion people - to count on America and these “revolutionaries leading the way” to still have food to eat?
Don’t f*cking bullsh*t! (repeated three times)"

Jasmine Revolution - My Translation

2011-02-23T07:31:00.003-05:00

*Yesterday, a battle cry for the Jasmine Revolution in China was posted on the Boxun blog. I did my own translation of it, and I obviously tried to be as accurate as possible. There are a few points where I am not sure how correct my translation is, and I hope you can correct me if you find errors - the original Chinese text is at the bottom. Most importantly, know that I am not taking sides or advocating this revolution. I just think it's important to have this translated into English.*

"Boxun has received a new statement, circulated as received.
We are China’s “Jasmine” revolution instigators.

We have seen how Chinese society already has been totally defeated. Poisonous food outbreaks are happening thick and fast, and the younger generation has already been deeply harmed. The Chinese authoritarian regime has already lost faith and gotten benefit of the spoils of groups that cannot help themselves, day by day converting more to fascism. The system of rule and local administrative corruption, embezzling, and bribes run wild. Judiciary independence is taking steps backward, the officials and second-generation officials are monopolizing all of the resources in the system; society has become seriously polarized, and the disparity between rich and poor is increasing. Prices of commodities are rising, especially the skyrocketing housing prices, leading the people to resentment and boiling discontentment. The citizens’ human rights situation is especially horrible: taking people into custody at will, rampant kidnappings, and media censorship is becoming more and more stringent. Those conscious of the media have slowly shattered the rice bowl. The 35 articles of the “Constitution” exist in name only; public property is wantonly plundered, and the razing of buildings and moving out of the occupants leads to death, and even to people setting themselves on fire. China is already sinking its resources into a black hole, polluting the environment, committing ecocide, leaving a troubled legacy for our descendents.

We deeply feel the cause springs from the authoritarian regime. What has made us most uneasy is that the rulers have already completely blocked up our rising passageway. In the civil service exam, we can’t compete with the children of the officers. We have no method to do business with businesses, and the country is entering back into the influential countervailing capital. We can only carry on our backs the high prices and burden of high inflation, and struggle for survival, forever unable to see the future.

It’s we alone who possess this virtual space in which we sense our existence. This week we will incite the “Jasmine Revolution,” and it’s our hope that we can borrow the wave of democracy from the Middle East and North Africa, to press for reform or change, changing the present type of unfairness and unjustness, day by day sinking into our current situation. The success of the activities on Feb. 20 caused us delighted surprise, but also brought us grief and anger as masses of those who pursue freedom and love their country were harassed by the authorities without being given legal proceedings and were put under house arrest and detained, and even experienced bodily harm and cruelty to the point of nearly dying.

They are political prisoners,

They are the heroes of the Chinese people who pursue freedom and democracy, and they are the unyielding Jasmine revolutionaries!

For those who lost freedom including: Tang Shitian, Jiang Tianyong, Teng Biao, Liu Guohui, Chen Wei, Ran Yunfei, Li Tiantian, Yan Jinfeng, Shen Bin, Liang Haiyi… and also to those who lost their freedom and at any time could have their lives threatened, like the blind lawyer Chen and his wife…

For them, we will call for this:

Let us replace our internet profile pictures with the Jasmine image,

Right now, let us Jasmine line up to use MSN, QQ, Twitter, blogs, and Gtalk

Just like them, we also are unyielding Jasmine!

Let us use social networking sites to welcome our Jasmine heroes’ return.

At the same time, we urge the authorities as soon as possible to release the political prisoners who were illegally kidnapped. Otherwise, in the coming weeks, we will organize more mature, larger scale actions of the Jasmine Revolution against the authorities for their illegal abduction and persecution!

If before midnight on Thursday, the authorities have not released the prisoners, this week we will continue at 220 announced mobilization points (of which the locations may by modified). Detailed changes will be announced later because the internet conditions won’t allow us to announce them. So then, my friends, go forward this week to the meeting places.

When the time comes, we only need to go to the appointed spots, far from the onlookers, silently following, taking advantage of this opportunity, with courage shouting the slogans, and perhaps, changing history starting from this moment.

We will all come together as brothers and sisters. Please keep watch and help each other. If it happens that those who participate in the assembly receive adverse treatment to the point of the maximum that can be tolerated, do not delay in giving them support. When the meeting ends, do not leave behind any trash because we Chinese are of great character and are required to pursue democracy and freedom.

Right before dawn is the darkest moment, but the first light surely comes. Let us all together welcome in the dawn.

Our main focus and goals this week:
Demand that the authorities immediately, and without us having to meet any conditions, release Tang Shitian, Jiang Tianyong, Teng Biao, Liu Guohui, Gu Chuan, Chen Wei, Ran Yunfei, Li Tiantian, Yan Jinfeng, Shen Bin, Liang Haiyi, and also Chen and his wife.

Our slogans are these:

Release the political prisoners (the three characters for “political prisoners” can be replaced with specific names instead)

We want to eat
We want to work
We want housing

We want fairness
We want justice

Protect private property
Maintain judicial independence

Start political reform
End one party rule
Open the press restrictions
Allow freedom of the press

Long live freedom
Long live democracy"

博讯收到新版声明，原文照发：
我们是中国“茉莉花”革命的发起者。

我们看到，中国社会已经全面溃败，有毒食品层出不穷，连下一代都已经深受其害；中国专制政权已经失去信仰，成为利益分赃的团体而无力自救，日渐法西斯化；统治体系吏治腐败、贪污贿赂横行、司法独立全面倒退，官员及官二代垄断了所有的体制内资源；社会两极分化严重、贫富更加悬殊、物价上涨特别是房价飞涨而导致民怨沸腾；国人人权状况尤为恶劣，任意监禁、强制失踪广泛发生，新闻审查愈发严厉，有良知的媒体人纷纷被打碎饭碗，《宪法》三十五条形同虚设；民众财产被肆意掠夺，因拆迁而导致的死亡甚至自焚时有发生；中国已经沦为资源黑洞、环境污染、生态破坏，遗害子孙......

我们深感于，这一切的根源都源自于专制政权。更让我们不安的是，执政者已经全面堵塞了我们的上升通道。考公务员，我们竞争不过官二代；经商做生意，我们无法与“国进民退”的权贵资本抗衡，我们只能背负着高房价与高通胀的重负，挣扎求存，永远看不到未来。

我们唯一拥有的，就是虚拟空间给我们的存在感。我们在上周发起了中国“茉莉花革命”，就是希望能借北非中东的民主化浪潮，促使中国发生改良或变革，改变目前这种不公不义日渐沉沦的现状。

2月20日活动的成效很让我们惊喜，但我们也悲愤地看到，大批追求民主自由的爱国人士被当局未经法律程序骚扰、软禁及拘禁，甚至受到肉体上的残酷近害。

他们是政治犯，

他们是为中华民族追求自由民主的英雄，他们是不屈的茉莉花！

为了失去自由的唐吉田、江天勇、滕彪、刘国慧、陈卫、冉云飞、李天天、晏今锋、沈斌、梁海怡......也为了失去自由、并且随时有生命危险的盲人律师陈光诚夫妇......

为了他们，我们呼吁：
让我们将自己的网络ID的头像图标换成茉莉花吧，

现在就让我们的茉莉花在MSN、QQ、Twitter、博客、Gtalk上列队，

和他们一样，我们也是不屈的茉莉花！

让我们用互联网上茉莉花的花海来让加害人民者胆寒！

让我们用互联网上茉莉花的花海来迎接我们英雄的归来！

同时，我们敦促当局尽快释放这些非法绑架的政治犯，否则在即将到来的周未，我们将组织更成熟、更具规模的茉莉花革命行动来抗议当局对他们的非法绑架和迫害！

如果周四午夜前当局仍未释放这些政治犯，我们本周仍将继续在220公布的地点发动集会（部分地点略有变更），具体地点变更将随后公布，如因网络条件无法公布，则请朋友们前往上周集合地点。

届时，我们只需要走到指定的地点，远远的围观，默默地跟随，顺势而为，勇敢地喊出你的口号，或许，历史就从这一刻开始改变。

走到一起来的，都是兄弟姐妹，请守望相助。如发生参与集会人员受到不良对待请以最大的容忍处理，旁人也请及时支持。集会结束时，不要留下垃圾，中国人，是高素质的，是有条件追求民主自由的。

黎明前更黑暗，但曙光一定要到来。让我们一起迎来黎明！

我们本周的主要具体目标:
要求当局立即无条件释放唐吉田、江天勇、滕彪、刘国慧、古川、陈卫、冉云飞、李天天、晏今锋、沈斌、梁海怡、陈光诚夫妇等人

我们的口号是：

释放政治犯（“政治犯”三字也可用具体人名替代）

我们要吃饭
我们要工作
我们要住房

我们要公平
我们要公义

保障私有产权
维护司法独立

启动政治改革
结束一党专政
开放报禁
新闻自由

自由万岁
民主万岁

Progress?

2011-02-06T12:51:00.004-05:00

I’m making progress on my trying-to-match-Chinese-life issues, and I think I’ve put forth a grand effort. I actually get online now (as you can tell): spending time on Facebook, Twitter, and even watching episodes of The Office and the Colbert Report on Hulu. Pretty good, huh?

But I feel so unproductive! Guilty, almost.

That is, except for the ability to listen to Chinese music all day on Baidu.com (the major search engine in China), to look up characters on my favorite online Chinese dictionary, and to read about what’s going on in China during the New Year and Spring Festival.

Moderation? Balance? My Chinese friend Li Li came to visit in January, and we talked a lot about balance. She is studying economics at the graduate level and is, understandably, seeking more balance in her life. As for me, I think I am balanced, and the rest of the world is out-of-whack.

For example, one of The Office episodes I watched is the one where Michael goes crazy on everyone about their New Year’s resolutions. And I totally agree with him. Buck up and get your crap done, everyone. It’s not hard. Stop reading this blog. Go clean your kitchen, and then read a book. Seriously, you do have the time. Because I did. Before I started watching The Office and refreshing my Facebook and Twitter pages.

Maybe this attitude I have comes from seeing how hard everyone in China works every day. In America, we have these ideas about what it means to work hard, earn money, achieve career goals. But the concepts are totally different in Asia. I realize that nothing is stopping me (or should be stopping me) from getting things done, so I try to do them.

I guess this goes back to that whole missing China idea. I had been trying to match that lifestyle, and then when I recently stopped, I simply made everything about China again in a different way. Just confirmation that I’m not crazy. Well, at least that I’m deciding to be crazy instead of it happening by accident. There’s a difference.

Character-Based Tweeting

2011-02-05T16:12:00.003-05:00

My last post was about tweeting in Chinese. Apologies to my English-speaking followers… But it’s so easy, really. The 140 characters that Twitter allows is an essay in Chinese.

That is not an exaggeration. I applied for a job in Beijing last year, and the application had a <100 character personal essay requirement.

It makes me want to tear my hair out that there aren’t more Chinese tweets out there. I never come close to using all 140 characters… the unfathomable opportunities for character-based tweeting are not being tapped into, and something should be done about it.

So I am trying.

I’m really hoping to get some kind of following among Chinese speakers of any nationality on Twitter, though, so I’ll be keeping up with the annoying Chinese tweets until I run out of things to say. Now, if only I had a phone that supported Chinese characters...!

...And in case you're interested:

2011-02-05T13:29:00.002-05:00

If you speak Chinese and follow me on Twitter, I'm doing an un-translatable, sarcastic, and satiric series on how to get a Chinese boyfriend. Just some lessons I've learned along the way (all these tweets start out with "找中国男朋友，第几课.")

If you speak English, you lose out because A) the concepts are way too "Chinese" to explain, B) I guess I could explain them, but not in under 140 characters, but C) wouldn't be good enough to blog in English about.

You can try to translate them, but then you're not allowed to judge me on the awful translation and the fact that you still don't understand.

My Chinese New Year

2011-02-05T10:45:00.015-05:00

I celebrated Chinese New Year on Friday night (instead of Wednesday) by going to a party hosted by the Chinese Business Professional Association at the OSU Fisher College of Business.

My Sichuan friend who I graduated with at Muskingum, Tao Huang (left), is getting his MAcc from OSU and helped organize the event.

Happy Year of the Rabbit! 兔年快乐！

The celebration started with dinner catered by Lee's Garden, and then the performances started. There was a really impressive lion dance that involved the dancers lifting each other into the air, and then we watched a video of professors trying to give greetings in Chinese - hilarious! Next came the music segment, and I definitely knew all the songs and their artists, much to the chagrin of my Chinese companions. "No, I swear to you, Cai Yi Lin 蔡依林 sings this song, not JJ Lin 林俊杰!"

Another highlight was the Chinese dress qipao 旗袍 show. This past week I worked hard to alter my own dress - I lost a lot of weight since I had it made in China in 2008. I successfully took in all the seams and darts, which was a huge project. But anyway, the women walked in with flowers, ribbons, fans, feather boas, and other props, and their variety of dresses were really beautiful.

After the performances were games and prizes, and everyone just mingled and had fun for the rest of the time. In this picture I'm playing the kongzhu 空竹, like a yo-yo and top combination.

Obviously, my favorite part of celebrating the Chinese New Year was speaking and listening to the Chinese language! I'm always amazed at how easily everything comes back to me, but also how much I have to learn and practice. Totally contemplating a trip to China within the next year or two...?

Photo collage from the New Year party: Red envelopes containing Chinese money - a Chinese tradition; Brush and ink for Chinese calligraphy; Two of the cutest children on the earth; Baby slippers and decorations; Fan with Beijing opera masks and a bowl of green tea leaves.

新年快乐，恭喜你发财！兔年吉祥！
(Just some "Happy New Year" type sayings... I refuse to translate words like "prosperous" and "auspicious" like that's normal. Not going to do it.)

Filial Piety (孝)

2011-01-30T11:19:00.004-05:00

Say what? That's right, there is a common Chinese word for a concept we Americans never really talk about in the same way. My Chinese-English dictionary translates Xiao4 孝 as "filial piety," but you might want to check your English-English dictionary on that one (link provided, you're welcome).

The New York Times has an article about the Chinese government proposing legislation to enforce this concept of xiao 孝, or familial duty. In effect, the legislation would accept lawsuits filed against adult children who cause their parents to feel forgotten.

I'm not even going to discuss the collapse of social security and how it might be a good idea for the younger generation to take care of their elderly parents... Instead, let's talk about this in different terms: human rights.

Which country is having human rights issues? Can we talk about the neglect of American elderly for just a moment, please?

For work this fall I attended a Judicial College Summit on Aging seminar that served to teach and prepare members of the Ohio judiciary about the aging population and its affect on courts, laws, etc. I was emotionally scarred by a graphic video about a 93-year-old Ohio woman who was raped by her 40-year-old grandson. He also regularly verbally abused her and stole her money, but those horrific actions almost don't seem worth mentioning in comparison.

In the Times article, the international director of the Gerontological Society of China is quoted as calling the proposed Chinese legislation a "really nice move." First of all, I'm wondering if that was awkwardly translated from Chinese, but more importantly, I agree with the director. Maybe it's not the government's role to step in in this way, but it's still an awesome idea.

Since spending time in China, I definitely feel more of a duty to my parents.

I have a friend from Beijing whose parents have given up everything for her, for her education, and for her future. My friend has studied in the U.S., in Canada, and is again abroad for grad school. Two years ago I asked her how it makes her feel that her parents do so much for her.

"I feel really indebted to them. I feel like I don't deserve it. But then I remember that I'm their only child, and I have a chance to give back to them. They have worked so hard for me, and one day I will have a great job so that I can take care of them when they are old. It's a give-and-take, and right now it's take."

In Central Asia, it's the duty of the youngest son to live with his parents for the rest of his life. So when he gets married, the youngest son and his wife live with the parents and grandparents in one huge, happy family. That's the way it's supposed to be, I think (not necessarily the part about it having to be the youngest son...).

As an adult, I have a better perspective on how much my parents did and do for me. But seeing xiao 孝 lived out in Asia has shown me how to respond to those feelings of appreciation. It doesn't count if you don't act on it. Saying "thank you" doesn't really mean that much.

Besides feeding me, clothing me, and giving me a private school education, besides putting up with my bratty teenage years, they taught me the most important thing: how to learn. I remember my mom teaching me to read before I was three years old. I remember my dad explaining the concepts of addition and subtraction to me before I went to Kindergarten. Going to the doctor was a biology lesson, and dominating the summer reading program at the library was the best part of summer.

So, while there is no law that I have to take care of them when they are old, my parents can count on that happening. So, mom and dad, please don't be mad if I spend the years in between living abroad...

Brain Activity

2011-01-29T20:40:00.003-05:00

Previously, I wrote about realizing that almost everything in my life now is tied to what my life was like in China.

Both times I returned from China, what hit me the most stepping off the plane was how little my brain had to work. All the signs were in English. All the conversation was in English. I could understand everything going on around me with only the smallest amount of brain activity.

It was mind-numbing, really. So what did I do to cope? My mindset became that if I’m not learning something, I’m wasting my time.

I notice this in getting caught up with small projects I have at work. I recently edited a program that was done in Russian with an English translator on the set. I had to piece it all together, with a cut every 10 seconds or so. I got this project because no one else in the world wanted to touch it. The host of the program even considered it a lost cause. But I eagerly threw myself into editing it - even studying some Russian at home, and I learned a lot of Russian in the process (mostly things like “for example,” “in the whole world,” and “first of all,” but you have to start somewhere!).

As for outside of work, I don’t even know where to begin. I read continuously. My current projects are learning about economics and the histories of both world wars. I’m not trying to be an expert; I just don’t want to be an idiot.

I mentioned in one of my media posts that I don’t listen to music. That’s a lie! When I’m not listening to NPR, I’m listening to Chinese music. Musically, most of it is horrible stuff. But it’s good for my Chinese. I feel like I’m living in an ABC (American-Born Chinese) household: English in public, Chinese at home. I force myself to think and sometimes write in Chinese. It’s becoming more of a challenge since I haven’t been immersed in so long.

I just miss the learning environment I had in China. As I explained before, my mind was inundated with new information to process all the time. And the Chinese language itself – who could ever learn all the characters and completely master it? Even native Chinese with college degrees don’t know every character. And then there are the traditional characters, ancient characters, and dialects. The dream world of someone who loves to learn, right?

Change of Pace

2011-01-26T19:19:00.002-05:00

I got totally pumped about studying Chinese more after being introduced to “Feichang Fresh,” a group of international students in Beijing who produced some songs in Chinese. I feel like the guys in the group are totally genuine, yet their sense of humor about China is apparent in their music videos.

The video that made them “famous” (in China) is “A Beijing Love Song” about how awesome the city is. Don’t be fooled; they say things like “stoked” “put your hands up” and “drop the beat” in Chinese. Their second Chinese song, which they didn’t put English subtitles to, is “Shorty, Come Here,” and is about talking to a girl in a coffee shop.

I love that they are using a difficult, intimidating language in a cool, casual way. It really makes it seem more approachable to foreigners. I also love seeing the settings they use - typically Chinese places, like alleys, concrete walls with ads on them, weird exercise equipment in public locations, and rusty steamrollers.

Really, you should check out their videos.

The Medium is Not the Message (II)

2011-01-25T21:43:00.003-05:00

I think I lost faith in America as I studied Chinese media. A common Chinese perspective is this: “We know about the media control in our country. It’s an organized, thought-out, and purposeful control that we can’t do much about. But in America, you all deny that control exists in any form, and you are blind to it, whatever it may be. Which is the scarier scenario?”

Obviously not knowing it’s there.

(Right?)

I’m not going to call out American media as being controlled by certain forces. It’s not really about media itself, but about how media affects and influences society and vice versa. It’s a cause-and-effect cycle that can’t end, except badly.

It’s not about the media, but about the message. (What is "the media," anyway?) It’s about the attitude that Americans have toward the rest of the world. How did we get like this?

My intent here is not to make a judgment, but to present thoughts and questions. What are your thoughts and questions?

The Medium is Not the Message (I)

2011-01-24T21:39:00.004-05:00

One aspect of my life that changed since being in China is media consumption. Media reflects the society from which it comes, and in China the media is understandably different from that of western countries. I got used to that.

I don't have a TV, and I don't watch movies. I also don't listen to music. The only time I have internet at home is when my neighbors are kind (wink!). It may seem like I’m withdrawing from society, but I think the opposite has happened. I'm more aware of what's happening in the global community and less focused on my several hundred Facebook friends and their lives.

It's about the way you use media, right? So instead of limiting myself by always being online or inundating my mind with popular American culture, I think I'm freeing myself to learn about other things and to see the world from a different perspective.

What's the point? There are two things going on here. The first is that in China, I lived without these media as they existed in that country. And it wasn’t a big deal. Chinese TV was way too dramatic, and they spoke too fast, referencing historical and cultural references that I knew nothing about. My main internet usage was an online Chinese dictionary that I love.

The second aspect is that I was not only living without these Chinese media, I was also not using these English/American media. I didn’t have access to them, and even Facebook was usually blocked online. When I came back to the U.S., I wasn’t able to seamlessly jump back into the world of entertainment media, let alone all the conversations about the latest movies and music and TV shows. It was way too much work to go back and find out what I had missed, especially when I've never been all that into entertainment media, anyway.

And now I'm going to go read some Marshall McLuhan.

My Life in the Mirror

2011-01-23T21:03:00.002-05:00

I’m realizing more and more that the way I’m living my life now is a massive attempt to match what life was like for me in China. It’s not that I miss China necessarily; I miss what my life was like living there.

I miss being a stranger lost among a million faces, and I miss that my face stood out among them. (This winter, I’ve been often reminded of walking across the Lanzhou University campus, bundled up in a hat, scarf, hood, and mittens, with my face barely showing, and hearing students dozens of meters ahead of me commenting on the foreigner headed their way. How could they tell so quickly?)

Along the same lines, I miss the paradox of being completely and utterly alone in a city of 5 million people. I miss having my own tiny room in which to (try to) shut out the crazy, unrelenting sounds of the city. Most of all, though, I miss every single second of my existence being dedicated to some form of study and learning.

And so, without realizing it until recently, I’ve been making my American life mirror my international life as much as possible. It’s a yearning for something bigger, a desire to realize potential and purpose, and a crazy obsession with being economical and rational. At the same time, it’s an immensely fulfilling and happy quest.

I’m embracing it.

And I’m going to try to learn more about myself through blogging about it. Want to join?

New Shoes!

2010-11-21T19:25:00.001-05:00

I am a big fan of toning shoes. I skeptically got a pair of the sneakers when they first came out, and I took them to China with me last fall where I wore them all the time. I only have good things to say about toning shoes, and I still wear mine whenever I take a walk. So I was super-excited to hear on my trip to Colorado over the summer that Crocs was coming out with a line of toning shoes, and I couldn’t wait to try them out.

My time has come, and I have been wearing my Crocs Tone shoes for a few weeks. The biggest difference between these and my toning tennis shoes is the weight- Crocs Tones are so light! I mostly wear them around my little apartment, and I can feel the benefits walking even those small distances.

The bottoms of the shoes are a bit rounded, but they aren’t clunky and awkward-looking like the tennis shoes. Another important aspect is that the Crocs Tones don’t put you too much off-balance so that you think you’re going to fall over. I’ve felt like that standing around in my toning tennis shoes before!

With my other toning shoes, I feel like I have to be on a serious walk to wear them, and I would never wear them around the house, so what I like most about my Crocs Tone shoes is that I am comfortable wearing them doing anything.

Update?

2010-11-21T19:05:00.002-05:00

I moved to Columbus in August, and I’m really excited about this time in my life. Which is a bit ironic, because from the outside, my life seems so boring. After work, I cook, read, write, or sew. I go to bed early. I don’t do anything exciting. But that’s what makes it so exciting. I’m writing a book. I’m studying Chinese again. I’m just learning a lot and keeping it simple.

People are surprised that I don’t have a TV, the internet, or a car. It’s not that I’m trying to prove a point or live a certain lifestyle; these things are just unnecessary to me right now, and I don't miss them. What I am trying to do is to push myself to make the most of my time and my life and to learn as much as I can.

I love my job. I work with cool people, and the projects I work on are filled with opportunities to learn about politics, history, social issues, current events, the arts... anything and everything. My current obsession - laugh with me here, is researching Oliver Hazard Perry, who won the Battle of Lake Erie in the War of 1812. If I ever have a son, his middle name is going to be Hazard. Sweet, right?

Speaking of work, major changes are coming in the next few weeks, and not just with the Republican majority coming into the Statehouse – 22 new interns/fellows will start working in December! So, although I totally enjoy my simple, solitary, introverted existence, I will appreciate the new faces and new friendships.

Summer Wrap-Up

2010-08-13T19:51:00.003-04:00

I know, there is still more than half of August to go and you don't need anyone else to remind you that the summer is almost over. But my summer feels completely finished since I started working the first week of August. And I'm totally okay with that feeling. Summer is overrated. And autumn is awesome.

But anyway, that's right, I got a job. And I consider myself completely blessed for being employed. I can count on one hand the friends I graduated with who have jobs, and most of those are not "career jobs." (Two side notes: 1. No, I don't have a lot of friends, and 2. I'm not putting down their jobs... just saying how lucky I am.)

And, actually, my job is only a "job" until December when it turns into a "fellowship." I also start getting benefits and a raise at that point, so you can determine for yourself which sounds better.

Right. So I work for The Ohio Channel, also called Ohio Government Telecommunications. (NOT to be confused with ONN!) I work right in the Ohio Statehouse doing video production work, and I really love my job. The deal with the fellowship thing is that last spring I applied to be a Legislative Service Commission fellow, one of 24 that the LSC hires each December. I got the position as a telecommunications fellow, and OGT ended up needing me to work full time before the fellowship starts in December. So naturally I agreed.

I feel like everything about this is confusing, especially all those acronyms.

Crocs Video Interviews

2010-07-16T20:32:00.005-04:00

Crocs has posted video interviews from Boulder on their blog. The first video is a summary of the trip, and my personal interview is the third one from the top.

I think I sound pretty silly in my interview. I thought I was used to hearing and seeing myself from all that radio and tv work in college... I guess I'm out of practice (or overly critical?).

Crocs Camaraderie

2010-07-10T16:08:00.007-04:00

While the ten of us are obviously up against each other in a contest to be in the top five, there was really no sense of fierce competition among us. It amazes me how kind, generous, and welcoming each of the ten finalists are. In such a short period of time, we really got to know each other, and we all feel like friends. I know there will be no hard feelings about whoever gets to be the Ambassadors. The trip to Boulder, free Crocs, exposure to top-secret new styles, gourmet dinners out, the fancy hotel, etc. is certainly a “win” in all of our minds. Here are some of my favorite photos of the finalists.
Nina checking out the Jibbitz (charms that can attach to some styles of Crocs), Amy and Kelsey in the Crocs store, Chris and Sherri at breakfast

Lorraine the "Crocs runner" and Liz on her matchy-matchy iPhone

I already posted a picture of Kat and Jon at the tea house, and I make the tenth Ambassador. What a great group!

The Ambassadorship

2010-07-10T15:59:00.004-04:00

So, after all, what is this whole Crocs Ambassador Contest all about? I had no clue either until Thursday morning when we had the main meeting of the trip. We learned all about the new styles of Crocs and the re-vamping of the Crocs website. And the website is where the Ambassadors come into play.

To back up a bit, Crocs had about 200 photo entries in their online contest. I was selected to be in the top 15, and the public voted for us on Facebook and the Crocs website. From there, I made it into the top ten, and all of us were flown out to Boulder for this event. The next step is for Crocs to choose five of us to be the actual Ambassadors (even though all ten were referred to as “Ambassadors” throughout the trip- for simplicity’s sake!).

So what will the Ambassadors do? They will have a profile on the new "Vitamin C" Crocs page (to be revealed at the end of July when the five winners are announced) and blog about once-per-week each. The entries can and will be about anything, really, not just the shoes. Crocs wants some interesting content to draw people from outside the Crocs community - probably people like you who either do not own Crocs or have just one pair. The Ambassadorship is a community outreach program. While there will most likely be opportunities for the Ambassadors to travel, the main goal is for them to work within their own circle of friends and communities – to go to events, hold focus groups, give out coupons, etc.

Oh, and did I mention that the five Ambassadors win $2,500 each? Crocs clearly wants the Ambassadors to be independent from the company, just your average citizen who happens to like Crocs, so I think the money is as close as they’re going to get to paying for the content!

Boulder Dushanbe Tea House

2010-07-10T14:46:00.005-04:00

On Friday morning, the last day in Boulder for us Crocs Ambassadors, we had breakfast at the Boulder Dushanbe Tea House. Don’t worry if you didn't know that Dushanbe is the capital of Tajikistan. (See what I did there?) It's Boulder's "sister city" and, apparently, the materials used to construct the building were shipped from Tajikistan specially to make the tea house. Entering the building really was like stepping right into Central Asian culture. Personally, it brought back memories from China - from the similarities in most Asian art and architecture, but also from my encounters with Tajik exchange students.

Kat, Jon with chai tea, Shelly from Crocs, Nina, and Lorraine at breakfast

I have never been crazy about chai tea, but I knew it would prepared just right here, and I was not disappointed!

Mountains

2010-07-10T13:47:00.004-04:00

I love mountains. One of my favorite parts about traveling in China, in fact, was climbing mountains and noticing the drastic changes in mountain landscapes across the country.

I was really disappointed to not have been able to see the mountains on the drive into Boulder, Colorado on Wednesday - the rain clouds were too low and the sky was dark. The weather cleared up, however, and by Friday the sky was bright blue and scattered with clouds. I wish I had been able to do some hiking during my stay!

Boulder, Paper, Scissors

2010-07-10T13:42:00.002-04:00

In downtown Boulder, there are a lot of, um, rocks. Rather, boulders. I found all of these (and more) at the Pearl Street Mall. Very decorative.

The Pearl Street Mall

2010-07-10T10:08:00.006-04:00

Pearl Street is an outdoor, pedestrian shopping center in downtown Boulder - where the Crocs store is located. It's lined with tons of trendy shops and restaurants, and it was especially active on Friday afternoon with the beautiful weather (finally!). Here are some shots of Pearl Street.

Crocs Store - Boulder

2010-07-10T01:34:00.004-04:00

So I already gave you a peek at the Crocs store in Boulder, Colorado. But what you should know about this place is that it really is huge. It has three floors- one each for men’s, women’s, and children’s shoes. The amount of styles and colors is quite overwhelming!

The Art of Tea

2010-07-08T23:17:00.005-04:00

Tea is an art, as I learned today at Celestial Seasonings in northeastern Boulder, Colorado. Not only are the tea ingredients imported fresh from around the world – cinnamon from Vietnam, lemongrass from Thailand, and green tea from China – the process of combining them into Celestial Seasonings’ distinct blends is a finely-tuned craft. The herbs and spices are cleaned, cut, sifted, and packaged into the signature string-less and tag-less tea bags.

While the art of this process is impressive in itself, the outer packaging features artwork related to the flavor of tea. Bengal Spice, for example, has a lounging tiger on the box.

The tea house is also lavishly decorated with artwork. One of my favorite pieces is a gown made entirely from Celestial Seasonings’ tea packages. I think my new red Hanalei Crocs would be perfect with this outfit! What do you think?

The Secret Assignment

2010-07-08T23:14:00.005-04:00

All of us Crocs Ambassadors were very anxious about the mysterious assignment on our schedules for the afternoon. Our Crocs hosts would not tell us anything about it until it was time.

Well, all of that worrying was for nothing, in my opinion. Our assignment was this: Go to a notable location in Boulder and blog about our experiences. We also had to somehow incorporate in the post which pair of Crocs we would choose for the occasion. What a fun activity!

Sherri from Oklahoma and I took a cab out to the Celestial Seasonings plant, and my next post will be the blog that I submitted for the Crocs assignment. The music from the video may sound familiar... but you work with what you have, right?

Sneak Peaks

2010-07-08T19:04:00.003-04:00

This morning the Crocs Ambassadors got sneak peaks at the upcoming lines of footwear for both the fall of 2010 and spring and summer of 2011. For anyone thinking about purchasing some new Crocs, my advice is to WAIT until the new ones come out. While some styles are updates of classic versions of Crocs, most are completely different than anything you would associate with Crocs shoes. Goodbye to the clunky, awkward, and weird. Hello to hip, trendy, modern, and fun. And that's all I can say. Obviously no pictures allowed!

Crocs Cocktail Party

2010-07-07T23:51:00.004-04:00

The ten Crocs Ambassador Finalists were given a cocktail reception at the hotel. We met the women who do public relations and social media for Crocs, and the Ambassadors got to meet each other. I'm "the girl with the cow." Great.

After the reception, some of us took a walk around the area and we peeked in the window of the giant Crocs store...

First Few Minutes in Boulder

2010-07-07T20:19:00.006-04:00

Let's start with the negative: it wasn't actually a limo that picked me up at the airport, just a really nice car. Can't actually complain. Also, it's pouring down rain and cloudy so I haven't seen the mountains yet.

(Rainy) view from my room

The positive: My room is beautiful, and they gave me a huge tote bag full of stuff, including two pairs of Crocs, some snacks, a water bottle, a notebook, and a $100 visa gift card. Awesome.

The new Crocs: blue Crocband flats and red Hanalei

Footwear of Choice

2010-07-06T10:02:00.006-04:00

I am obviously going to be sporting some Crocs in Boulder. I wouldn't dare wear anything else! And I have decided which pair of Crocs I will wear in Colorado: the Capri Canvas. These are casual, yet feminine and stylish; A good all-purpose summer shoe that I think fits my personality and style. See, not all Crocs are clunky monsters.

Crocs Itinerary

2010-07-06T09:22:00.004-04:00

I received an email this morning with some information about what I can expect in Boulder as one of ten finalists in the Crocs Ambassador Contest.

First of all, I will be driven from the airport to my hotel in a limousine! Awesome. The default meeting place is the Crocs store where we will do product reviews, be interviewed by the Crocs staff, and have professional photos taken.

One ambiguous activity on the list is the "Ambassador Assignment" that takes up an entire afternoon. Hm... I'm a bit anxious to find out what this is! (Leave a comment on what you guess it might be.)

Welcome to St. Julien

2010-07-05T16:30:00.002-04:00

This is where I will be staying in Boulder, Colorado. It's St. Julien and it's a block away from the Crocs store at the Pearl Street Mall.

The trip is only three days- I know, it seems short, but it will definitely be action-packed and exciting. Remembering my trips across the Chinese countryside, I think a lot can happen in just two or three days.

There's "complimentary wireless" in the hotel, which means I will certainly be blogging about it. Check back in!

P.S. It's supposed to be partly cloudy and 80 degrees in Boulder!

Photos from the St. Julien website

Vanilla Cream Cake

2010-06-29T21:39:00.004-04:00

I made an amazing vanilla cream cake this week (if I do say so myself!). I got the recipe from the Penzeys Spice catalog, and I can't find just the recipe online, so this link is to download the summer catalog. The recipe is on pages 58 and 59. I never post recipes, right, but this one is just so good!

I made this! And you can, too.

Just some of my own notes on the recipe: The amount of melted butter truly is correct (only 2 tablespoons), but when you pour it into the milk, make sure the milk isn't cold or the butter will clump up. Also, I put (homemade) black raspberry jam in the middle layer. Lastly, the frosting wasn't quite enough for a four-layer cake, so try making a bit more. You can barely tell mine was a four-layer because the frosting is so thin in between.

Crocs Contest

2010-06-28T17:20:00.004-04:00

Awesome news. Remember that post earlier this month about how I entered in the Crocs Ambassador Contest and I asked for you to vote for me? Well, the voting period has concluded, and

...drumroll, please...

I am a finalist in the contest and I am going on a free trip to Boulder, Colorado next week. Can you believe it?

And now that the news is out, I owe a huge, huge "thank you" to every single person who voted for me. Everyone reading this, take this personally. I mean it.

Awkward Transition

2010-06-28T17:15:00.003-04:00

As you can probably relate, transitioning from a serious topic (death and rape in Kyrgyzstan) to more uplifting or everyday topics is a bit of a challenge in a blog. It's hard to juxtapose posts like that and seem like a sane human being.

So to maybe convince you that I am not coldblooded and hardhearted, this post is like buffer between bad news and good news.

Thank you for your time.

An Uzbek's View on Kyrgyz Violence

2010-06-17T12:30:00.004-04:00

I emailed my Uzbek friend Rustam, who is living in Lanzhou, to check up on my Kyrgyz friends in light of the violence in the south of their country. I have many Kyrgyz friends who I met through Lanzhou University, some of whom are still in Lanzhou and some who have gone home. One Kyrgyz couple who I was especially good friends with is in a unique situation: the husband is still in Lanzhou while his wife went back home to her family to give birth to their child. Naturally, I have been worried about these friends and their families. And, thankfully, I heard back that everyone is safe and well.

While my main purpose was to ask about the well-being of my friends, I also asked Rustam about his take on the violence and about why he thinks the attacks are occurring. I told him some reasons I have heard in the international media, including economic problems being blamed on the Uzbeks, the corrupt government egging on the violence, the fear of Uzbekistan encroaching on Kyrgyzstan, and gang violence based on ethnic hatred. Here is part of his email (awkwardly translated from Chinese):

"Caitlin, I think that all the reasons you listed are in fact causes of the conflict [economy, corrupt government, fear of Uzbekistan encroaching on Kyrgyzstan, and gangs] except for the one about Uzbekistan wanting Kyrgyzstan's land. Over there in Kyrgyzstan, I think there is one significant force between the Uzbeks and Kyrgyz that is provoking the violence: From what the Kyrgyz are saying, the Uzbeks are being beaten to death and a ton of women are being raped. The Uzbeks are verifying all of this. There is also another large factor, and that is that the people who are dying are innocent. It's just like a huge, awful game, and in this game the ones who suffer are the pawns, just like in chess."

The image of a game of chess is powerful. The pawns, the little innocent guys, are being slaughtered for the sake of the major players like the knights, rooks, kings, and queens, who perhaps represent the government, and are just out to win their battles at others' expense. We can only hope for a quick checkmate.

China and Korean Conflict

2010-06-16T00:32:00.003-04:00

When world news is not focused on vuvuzelas, talk is all about tension between North and South Korea, and speculations about China's likely involvement are usually included. I would like to add my own.

I don't think China has any interest in helping North Korea with anything. Just because both are labeled as Communist countries does not mean that they have much in common. China did not even want to get involved in the Korean War in the '50s, and the country's apathetic feelings have probably become more so. Involvement in the Korean War, for China, was more about working against Western influence than it was about fighting for North Korea or even for supporting Communism elsewhere in the world. The countries are not all buddy-buddy like many people believe. References to long-standing good relations between China and North Korea are really a pet peeve of mine.

And with North Korea not being seen as a major threat, I doubt China would want to pull all the weight and destroy relations with the rest of the world. Just not going to happen. So don't hold your breath. But I do hope the United States responds with swift action if fighting breaks out. We think we can save the world, which is why everyone hates us, so we had better deliver when the opportunity arises.

Tell It Like It Is

2010-06-15T19:41:00.003-04:00

In this news story about China sending aircraft to bring its citizens in Kyrgyzstan back to China, a Uighur man tells it like it is: "This is the first time I thank our motherland [China]." Oh, snap.

Also, China has sent 20 tons of aid (food, water, tents) to Kyrgyzstan, but I would like to point out that it came from Xinjiang, the autonomous region in northwest China which is populated mostly by the Uighur minority. Maybe it was funded by the national government and came from Xinjiang because this region is closest to Kyrgyzstan, but who knows.

In other related news, the benevolent United States of America is taking a very small, late, and indecisive step toward helping out in Kyrgyzstan by sending an "envoy" to "assess the situation." Here's the situation: people in Central Asia are dying. If and when US aid happens, that aid had better not go only to the Kyrgyz. The United States must help out the ethnic Uzbeks who are being uprooted from their homes and families and are fleeing into Uzbekistan.

Thoughts on Kyrgyz Violence

2010-06-14T21:08:00.006-04:00

The violence in Kyrgyzstan is depressing, discouraging, and worrisome to me. I am constantly checking the news and searching for more pictures and video. It just hurts me so much to think about my Central Asian friends and their families, their languages and cultures and customs and rituals... to think about them in this context of violence.

The countries of Central Asia each have their own distinct culture, history, and language. After gaining independence from the Soviet Union around 1990, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Turkmenistan, and Tajikistan have had minor clashes. Ethnic problems are at the top of the list since people of each country's ethnic group live in the other countries- like the ethnic Uzbeks living in Kyrgyzstan who are being killed every day. With no explanation. Sure, Uzbekistan is a double-landlocked country with an overflowing population, but it's implausible for them to want to or try to take over Kyrgyzstan. I feel like these countries should be in this together. After suffering under the Soviets, they all became free and in control of their own livelihoods. They should be celebrating.

I clearly remember, right after the international festival at Lanzhou University last fall, my friends told me about when they were young children and their families were poor. Their parents worked tirelessly, and it was for nothing (well, it was for Russia). After they became free, life was so much better and happier. The countries celebrated their uniqueness and nationalism was encouraged.

But maybe it is backfiring now, all that nationalism. It reminds me of my post from December of 2009 about the fight in my dorm building. There is such a fine line there between respect and pride.

And, to conclude this jumbled post, on days like today I take a step back and look at how much my life has changed. I used to get upset and riled up about completely normal things. And now my heart pounds as I read news about Kyrgyzstan, and I have no one to discuss it with. I cry when I hear about Uzbeks' houses being burnt and women and children fleeing to the border, and there is no one there to share the pain I feel. Wouldn't my life be a lot simpler if I had never gone to China and met wonderful people who taught me about all these cultures? It's times like these that for fleeting moments I wish I was "normal" and didn't have these painful burdens from what I have learned and grown to care about. I got into a debate in class once about learning- that it's not always a good thing, that learning can be detrimental. My classmates thought I was off my rocker, and, you know what, I am.

Man sizni sevaman.

VOTE FOR ME!

2010-06-08T10:38:00.004-04:00

I'm on my way to winning a trip to Boulder, Colorado, $2,500, and lots of prizes. I just need you to vote for me every day!

I entered a photo contest last month with Crocs shoes - I just submitted a photo of myself wearing the shoes and added a caption and a little blurb about why I want to win the contest. And they picked my entry and 14 others for people to vote on. Out of the 15 semifinalists, 10 of us will get to go to Colorado! So my chances are good.

But it all depends on YOU because I need the votes! You can vote once every 24 hours through facebook and through the Crocs website (or both, shh, don't tell!). If you go to the website link, click on the orange contest banner on the far right and navigate to my entry to vote.

Thank you!

The Smell of Burning Coal

2010-06-03T13:29:00.004-04:00

Check out this video about "the dirtiest city in the world." The images in the video from Linfen, China are so familiar to me and remind me most of my two trips to Fugu, China to stay with a friend and her family.

The gray skies, the trash everywhere, the cars... what sticks with me most, though, is the smell of burning coal. As I watched that video sitting in my living room, I had one of those strange experiences where I smelled burning coal as if I were in my friend's home in Fugu by their furnace. And that isn't the first time that has happened to me. When I first returned home from China, sometimes I would wake up in my dorm room and completely forget where I was. And then I would smell burning coal. I wasn't actually smelling it, of course, but I was remembering the entire experience of waking up in a strange world- one of pollution and gray skies and trash and cars- and smelling burning coal.

And yet, the people of Linfen- and Fugu and Lanzhou and the thousands of other polluted cities in China and around the world, still lead happy and normal lives.

History and the Future

2010-05-31T17:21:00.003-04:00

I am in the middle of "Reading Lolita in Tehran" by Azar Nafisi. I read her second memoir "Things I've Been Silent About: Memories" when it first came out in 2008, and her descriptions of typical life in Iran during times of turmoil intrigued me enough to go back and read her first memoir.

Nafisi grew up in Tehran, studied in Switzerland and the United States, and returned to Tehran as a professor of English literature. "Reading Lolita in Tehran" compares certain novels to the revolution and women's rights issues in Iran in the 1970s when Nafisi taught at the University of Tehran. In reference to "The Great Gatsby" Nafisi says this:

"We in ancient countries have our past - we obsess over the past. They, the Americans, have a dream: they feel nostalgia about the promise of the future." (p. 109)

I have to admit that several times during my semesters abroad, I would listen halfheartedly to my Asian and Central Asian friends' recollections of history. On the outside I was smiling and nodding my head, but inside I was impatient and restless, waiting for the monologue to end. I wanted to hear about what life in their countries was like for them today and where their countries were headed for the future. The past? We can and should learn from it, but we shouldn't cling to it. What an American attitude!

"Sometimes I really wish I had a cold"

2010-05-27T09:35:00.003-04:00

Here is an (unintentionally) hilarious article written by a Chinese official. He is discussing how people are very kind to him when he has a cold, and they go out of their way to help him. He insists that it is not because of his power, yet says that one man in particular who showed him kindness will be promoted. Yikes.

Side note: Getting a cold in China probably happens more often than in other countries (even among adults) because of close contact with so many people as well as environmental issues.

On Google and China

2010-05-25T09:39:00.005-04:00

I read this article on the aftermath of the Google situation in China, and I found the reporting odd. The first half of the article is about a party that Chinese Google employees held, complete with cocktails and the Beijing elite. The second half starts with an interview with the host of the party - who does not work for Google anymore and says that the party had nothing to do with the company.

And, the most important part of the article, in my opinion, was buried at the end:

"You [Americans] don't appreciate the people who are here in China ... life is harder here. Life is different, and people in the States don't see that. They don't appreciate that," Tian [a former Google China employee] said. "They see their so-called principles are getting bent and they don't like that."

Americans' views on tolerance and acceptance are extremely skewed. It is okay to be intolerant of religion (because religious people are intolerant), but it is unacceptable to be intolerant of certain illicit activities (because that's judging others). We should be completely accepting and open of other cultures, but not if, like Tian said, our "principles" are being compromised.

America should leave China alone. We don't know what is best for their country. We don't even know what is best for our country.

By the way, the Chinese word for "tolerance" basically means "to have no choice but to stand something."

Laken Kye Farm: Photography Project

2010-05-24T16:07:00.009-04:00

Yellow River Journalism

2010-05-10T10:50:00.003-04:00

As part of my senior seminar project about views on journalism in Lanzhou, China, I interviewed journalism professors and students at Lanzhou University while I studied abroad there learning Chinese, and I made this documentary video to share their views with the world (or at least to whomever happens to watch this).

This is Yellow River Journalism: A Quest for Truth in Lanzhou, China.

Enjoy!

'I Want Putin'

2010-04-02T20:29:00.004-04:00

I've been working on a research paper about Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin for a few weeks now, and it's kind of changing my life. While my paper is about his celebrity status, I've watched some videos of translated interviews with Putin, and I really agree with his ethics in regard to international relations.

And, back to the celebrity status of Putin, I have an extreme desire to join his fan girls and get a "I Want Putin / я хочу Путин" t-shirt (doesn't that just look cooler in Russian?).

Here's a music video for your enjoyment.

And if you're more into the politics, here's a really long but wonderful interview with TIME magazine.

Caffeine

2010-03-02T15:55:00.000-05:00

I used to drink coffee every morning, even while in China. When I came home, I made a sudden switch to drinking hot tea.

When I was a coffee-drinker, my tea-drinking fans would try to educate me about the dangers and harms of coffee. These scare-tactics never work, do they? Excess of practically anything can be harmful and deadly. I’m going to die at some point, and I’m pretty sure it won’t be from coffee.

Now that I drink tea, however, the tables have turned.

“Did you know that tea actually has MORE caffeine than coffee?”
“Tea is WORSE for your teeth than coffee is.”
“If you drink too much tea, you could cut 15 years OFF YOUR LIFE.”

Ok, no one claimed that last one, but the looks on their faces did. If there were to be a World War Three, the battle lines might be drawn over preferred beverage. I will continue to drink my antioxidant-filled green tea on a daily basis, and grab a cup of coffee on those extra-slow mornings. Thank you very much.

New Year's Resolutions Round 2: Pact with God

2010-02-17T20:46:00.003-05:00

I graduated from a Christian high school and had thought that only practicing Catholics gave something up for Lent. But, apparently everyone in southeastern Ohio observes Lent, or at least everyone at Muskingum University does. (And we’re Presbyterian.)

I have nothing against giving up a vice or denying yourself something you enjoy for the purpose of focusing on and becoming closer to God. It’s just that my borderline-atheist friends are giving things up, too. It’s a fad out here, worse than the iPhone and Ugg boots (which I thought would be out of style by the time I got back from China).

The peer pressure is starting to get to me. My problem is that I don’t know how to respond when my friends and classmates ask me what I’m giving up. On one hand, I’m way too proud to admit to classmates and acquaintances that I have a “vice.” This stuff is personal, right? But realistically, my eating habits and free time display nun-like self control. I practically live on salad and green tea (thank you, dining hall food), I don’t watch or even have a television, and my facebook use is so minimal I’m considering deactivating. (I’ve tried thinking outside the box to see what college life is like on the other side, like giving up reading for class, sober weekends, working on seminar, or getting papers done several days in advance…)

And I don't want to make something up just to have an answer. See, whenever the student next to me in class tells me what they’re giving up, I judge them hardcore. You’re not drinking pop anymore? So you’re the reason I see all those 42oz cups in the trash… No dessert? You could stand to lose a few pounds, there… Television? Spending your weekends watching entire seasons on DVD was getting to your social life, yeah?

Oh, that’s it: I should give up my cynicism for Lent.

Seminar Overview

2010-02-07T15:28:00.002-05:00

I'm only taking four classes this semester, all of which I love. (Even statistics class!) And, I'm not involved in nearly as many campus activities and organizations this semester. I feel like I got everything I wanted to out of my six semesters on campus, and I'd really like to focus.

Focus on what? My seminar.

Seminar is the capstone project that seniors complete in order to graduate. My journalism seminar will consist of a video documentary, a photography project, and a 5,000-word journalistic article. My topic is, broadly, journalism in China.

I conducted my research and interviews last semester in Lanzhou, so now my challenge is to sort through the information and complete the projects.

The focus is going to be on the social and cultural aspects of Lanzhou, China that influence journalism in the region. Chinese journalism looks a lot different from western journalism; that is obvious. But delving into specific reasons why and examining seemingly minor cultural differences should paint a different picture than what we normally see from our American perspective.

I'm going to be presenting the project in April, and anyone is welcome to attend. More details to come.

Muskie Internationals

2010-02-07T15:24:00.003-05:00

I feel pretty connected to the international students on campus. I feel like I can relate to them well, and that we have a lot to learn from each other.

There are about 15 Chinese students here this semester, and I talk to several on a daily basis.

But also, I'm living in one of the three language houses on campus: the Spanish House. Except for me, everyone in the house is learning Spanish or is an exchange student. I really like the climate and community in the house, and I can brush up on my high-school Spanish at the same time. I'm also learning to dance the merengue and the cuarteto.

I've been impressed with how fast the international students pick up on English swearing and slang. It's kind of surprising. So, I wasn't at all fazed when my Argentine housemate asked, "Caitlin, would you like to go slutting with us?" That would be SLEDDING.

Back at School

2010-02-07T15:10:00.002-05:00

I've been back at school for about a month now. I'm adjusting well compared to last time. The first two weeks back, I would get really, really mad about the drinking and partying culture on campus. I would get unreasonably mad and wonder what everyone was even doing here at college. I talked to a friend about it, and we joking wished that everyone who regularly got wasted on the weekends (or weeknights...) would fail at life. In reality, these people often get really great jobs. Why is that? Not fair. Haha...

But now, I have a nearby off-campus escape for the weekends, as well as a group of friends who I can relate to. I've been swimming every week and taking exercise classes. And I have my own room. I think all of these things have helped me get back in the swing of things here.

Pork

2010-01-09T07:30:00.003-05:00

I lived alongside dozens of Muslims for four months. My second day back home, my family had pulled pork for dinner.

I don't think I have ever felt so conflicted and guilty in my life.

*Update* My mom just read this and informed me that it was NOT pork, but rather beef. That does not take away the strange and unnatural concern I now have for foods I used to frequently eat.

**Another Update** My mom would also like me to add, for some reason, that it was City BBQ beef brisket.

I Hate English

2010-01-09T07:20:00.003-05:00

Ok, it's not that I hate English, I am just having trouble speaking it, which makes me frustrated. It's the little things, like verb tenses (past perfect), irregular verbs (too embarrassing to give an example), and specific words people don't often use (orthopedic).

And then, expressing myself is really hard. I have about 50 things I want to say, and I can't get my thoughts in order to make an intelligent sentence. I'm not necessarily thinking in Chinese. I'm not really thinking in any language. I have ideas in my mind that I haven't put in English yet- I learned not to think in English because I'd have to translate it to Chinese. Instead, I would take my thoughts, ideas, and concepts, and just say them as best as I could in Chinese.

My family can put up with me, but I hope I don't sound like an idiot when I go back to school.

Don't Ask "Why?"

2010-01-05T00:36:00.003-05:00

Something I have noticed recently, and especially in Beijing and on my flight home, is that when announcements are made in Chinese, no good information is given. For the most part, Chinese people just do what they're told and don't ask why. It's so different in the U.S.

When my flight out of Beijing was delayed, the English-speaking announcer would say, "We have to remove some cargo from the aircraft because we are too heavy. First the crew will have to come from the other terminal, so the wait could be up to an hour." Another time he said, "We are being delayed because there are about 10 aircraft in front of us. Each one is taking about 2 minutes to take-off, so please be patient and expect another 20 to 25 minute delay." But, the Chinese announcer would just say something like, "In order to meet the airport's standards for take-off, we are being delayed an hour," and, "Thank you for being patient, we will take off in half an hour." Absolutely no explanation was given in Chinese. It's possible that the Chinese announcer didn't understand the English explanation, but I see this lack of explanation other places, too.

A final example that sticks out to me is a sign I saw in a restaurant in Beijing. The English said "Employees Only" but the Chinese said "Do Not Enter." Yes, we foreigners like our explanations and reasons, thank you very much.

Flying Home

2010-01-05T00:17:00.003-05:00

In Beijing, my flight boarded on time, but then we sat on the runway for over two hours waiting to take off. I understand that there was a lot of snow on the ground and canceled flights from the day before were being made up, but honestly, the Chinese system of dealing with problems really sucks. Instead of coming up with an efficient plan when problems happen and telling the staff change things a bit, they just let things go and hope they're okay. They're not. I'm not mad about the flight, it's just an observation.

So, when I got to the U.S., I was late for my flight to Columbus. Obviously, a ton of other people were late, too. Also, the day before there had apparently been a 'security breach' at this airport, so all the flights were rescheduled for today and tomorrow. Basically, every single person at the airport was stressed and angry. I tried to be nice to the lady rescheduling my flight. It paid off. Because my flight was delayed due to weather conditions, I wasn't supposed to be given a free hotel room. Because I was being nice, the lady asked where I was coming from, how long my flight had been, how old I was, etc. She took pity on me and gave me a hotel voucher and meal coupons. Awesome.

So now I'm at a hotel. I ate a turkey sandwich, took a hot shower, and am looking forward to taking a nap in one of the two king-sized beds in the room. What a way to return to the states!

Beijing

2010-01-04T23:55:00.004-05:00

My friend Yuan and her parents met me at the Beijing airport on Saturday night, and I stayed with them for two days. The night I got there, my flight was delayed because of snow in Beijing, and all through the night it snowed and snowed and snowed. The next morning, Yuan and I took the subway to Tian'anmen. It was so cold I thought I was going to die. Really, I have never been so miserably cold in my life.

We stopped for coffee to warm ourselves up and then went to Beijing University. We went there because it was pretty in the snow, but mostly because I wanted to see the grave of Edgar Snow (his name was quite fitting). He was a journalist from the U.S. who first introduced the world to Communism in China. I would like to note that I was not permitted to do a Google search of his name... seriously, guys... what's up with that?

On Monday Yuan and I went shopping in the morning, and then I took a bus to the airport for my flight home.

Beijing was really beautiful in the snow. But it was wicked cold, which I did not enjoy. I think two days was plenty of time in the capital considering the weather.

Just About Finished

2009-12-29T21:20:00.000-05:00

I have taken all of my exams for this semester. They weren’t so bad, partly because I was the only person in my class to take them early. The teachers are grad students and I feel like they didn’t put too much effort into making up my exams. They were still hard… just not what I was expecting.

It feels good to be done and to have a few days to relax and finish up last-minute things before I come home.

On Saturday I’m flying to Beijing and meeting a friend there- Yuan Guo who studied at Muskingum during the 2007-2008 school year. We plan to go to the Great Wall and some other famous places on Sunday. (I’m amused to find out what places security allows me use my video camera…) Then on Monday afternoon I will make the 13-hour flight to the states. Back home, once again.

The Fight

2009-12-29T21:11:00.000-05:00

So my last post was basically to introduce a cultural custom that culminated in a fight in my dorm that my friend Rustam broke up. Here’s the story.

I was coming back from eating dinner with my friend Lily when a huge, bloody brawl broke out at my doorstep. Lily and I climbed the back stairs up to my floor, and at the top of steps were about 30 of the guys from Central Asia. They were blocking the way to get to my room. We had heard them yelling as we came up, but when I saw their faces, I was scared to death. I grabbed Lily and turned the other way, going straight to Rustam’s room for safety. But Rustam’s door was wide open and no one was inside. We went back into the hallway, but in the opposite direction of the fight.

It suddenly got really, really quiet. Then Rustam marched down the hallway into his room. He went to his bathroom and started washing his hands, but not before I saw all the blood going down the drain. There was blood all over his shirt, too. I took Lily’s arm and we tried to go back to my room, but all the guys were still there and wouldn’t let me through. I just starting pushed them aside and went through anyway. At my door, there was blood smeared all over the hallway floor and wall. I felt sick.

Later, Rustam came by and told us the story. A guy from Kazakhstan went to shake hands with a guy from Kyrgyzstan, and he intentionally shook his hand “the wrong way” showing disrespect. They yelled at each other for a few minutes, then all the Kazakh guys came to defend their country, and the all Kyrgyz guys did the same. The Uzbek guys obviously wanted to watch. While they were yelling, Rustam was doing his evening prayers. Needless to say, people started throwing punches, and a bloody nose made everything messy. At this point, Rustam went out to break up the fight. He said two guys were fighting, and the rest were just watching. Disgusting. Rustam also said that when Lily and I came up to the floor, the guys were mortified. And they didn’t want to let us go through when it was over because they didn’t want us to see the blood. While they can be pretty wild and like to fight, they always keep a sense of respect for women. When I see them now, some act ashamed. Rightfully so.

Hello, culture shock.

Shaking Hands

2009-12-28T04:41:00.002-05:00

The male students from Central Asia are big on shaking hands. It’s a cultural tradition that is extremely important to them. When they meet each other across town, on campus, or even outside their own dorm rooms, they shake hands and greet each other. It doesn’t matter if they just saw this person 2 minutes ago, if they are really busy, or if there are 20 guys to shake hands with. Not shaking hands is a major form of disrespect.

When I go somewhere with one of these guys, I usually allot an extra 10 minutes or so because they will inevitably encounter some of their pack along the way. And, when they are all shaking hands, I stand there like an idiot the whole time. Really, what am I supposed to do while this is going on?

Chopsticks

2009-12-28T04:41:00.001-05:00

I do not remember not being able to use chopsticks. I know that’s not true of everyone, and for some people learning is really difficult. But it sort of came naturally to me.

Chinese people have this idea that foreigners do not have the ability to use chopsticks, and also are not capable of learning. My friends are so surprised by my abilities and that I prefer chopsticks over a fork or spoon any day of the week. It’s annoying to try to find a way to explain that it’s never been a problem and that they should not be surprised.

At the Christmas party last week, the international office set up this game where we used chopsticks to move mandarin oranges and grapes from one cup into another. What a cinch. That game did not go over well because they completely under-estimated our fine motor skills.

Speak of fine motor skills, I have always been particular about handwriting; I enjoy cursive, calligraphy, and just plain writing nicely. I wonder if this is related to chopstick use… You see, writing Chinese characters can be difficult and painstaking. Chinese people start writing characters and using chopsticks from their childhood. Their fine motor skills are awesome. Those with bad handwriting, have you been able to use chopsticks without practicing? If you have good handwriting, do you still have trouble? Please comment.

Love, Love, Love

2009-12-28T04:34:00.000-05:00

I’ll have video of the Christmas celebration up in about a week… wait for it…

Christmas, maybe

2009-12-18T05:59:00.000-05:00

Chinese students keep asking me how I’m going to celebrate Christmas. I say I’m probably not going to because… how would I celebrate it? Christmas is a family and community holiday, and even if you observe it by yourself, you can’t really call that a ‘celebration.’

When I’m asked about Christmas, the students always get really excited and say we should celebrate together (um… I don’t even know you!). I ask how they would want to celebrate, and they just want to go out to eat at a ‘western’ restaurant, or one that is ridiculously expensive. Celebrating Christmas in China means you’re hip and cool, because westerners celebrate Christmas. I think that’s missing the point.

I asked one of my teachers about why Chinese students want to celebrate Christmas, or pretend that they do. She said because everywhere else in the world, people celebrate Christmas (not true). I asked what they were celebrating, since it’s certainly not Jesus. No response.

Then, the office sent out a decree that each class must put on a Christmas performance for everyone. I don’t think the office realizes that at least 90% of the international students here are Muslims and aren’t excited about celebrating Christmas.

My class put me in charge of our performance. Why does this always happen? So, thanks to my eclectic skills of audio editing, cheerleading, and Chinese karaoke, we are going to be doing a combination song and dance to a famous Chinese song (“Love, Love, Love” by Jolin, anyone?). Please note that this has nothing to do with Christmas. So, we are going to wear Santa hats. Very festive.

I went to a supermarket today to scout out some hats, and it was reiterated that Chinese people really have no clue about Christmas. I found the Santa hats on display with Halloween costumes and Mardi Gras masks. It’s not that China is celebrating these three holidays together, they just don’t know the difference. Also, Christmas in China this year is sponsored by 7Up. (Take THAT, Sprite!)

12 Degrees and Smoky

2009-12-09T04:50:00.000-05:00

On my Google homepage, I have a weather gadget that tells me the current weather conditions in Lanzhou, as well as the three-day forecast. (I also have a gadget to convert Fahrenheit and Celsius. Much easier than all that 9/5 then adding 32 stuff.)

Sometimes the weather gadget tells me it’s “cloudy” or “overcast,” but more often than not it says “smoke.” That’s right, smoke.

I think this must mean that the air is so polluted that the instruments read it as the air being like smoke. Is that possible?

International Festival Follow-Up

2009-12-09T02:37:00.000-05:00

One of the Uzbek students here is a reporter for the news station in Uzbekistan’s capital city, Tashkent. He made a news package about the international festival and posted it on this Chinese video site, so you can get a feel for what the festival was like.

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMTM1ODk2NjQ0.html

At about one minute into the video, there’s a short clip of me speaking Uzbek. I’m just saying the normal greeting, “Assalomu alaykum.” Nothing complicated.

These Foreign Names!

2009-11-28T09:18:00.002-05:00

There's an international student here from Uzbekistan whose name is pronounced "horse sh*t."

I can't look him in the eye, and we don't ever speak because I'm afraid of laughing.

The Number 8

2009-11-28T09:17:00.000-05:00

Another anecdote from class…

We were discussing lucky numbers according to Chinese culture. We all know that 8 is lucky, but we were told why: because 8 (八，ba) sounds like “fa” (发) which is a character sometimes used to mean “get rich” (发财，fa cai). There are at least two problems with this reasoning.

1. Fa 发 is used in tons of different ways.
头发 – tou fa, HAIR
发票 – fa piao, RECEIPT
发现 – fa xian, TO DISCOVER
发光 – fa guang, TO SHINE
发电 – fa dian, TO PRODUCE ELECTRICITY
发霉 – fa mei, TO BECOME MOLDY
发展 – fa zhan, TO DEVELOP

Need I go on? Maybe the number 8 actually means that you discover mold on your shiny hair after it develops static electricity from the receipt. (Not so lucky, is it?) In other (Chinese) words, 你发现你的发光的头发发霉了因为发票把你的头发发电了。That’s a lot of “发 fa.”

2. Ba 八 does not only rhyme with ‘fa’ 发, but it also rhymes with pa, ma, na, la, da, ta, ga, shall I go on? I could list out all of the possible meanings of these words as well, but I will spare you (and myself).

Why is 8 a lucky number? I’m still not sure.

Dog Fur

2009-11-28T09:16:00.000-05:00

Dog fur is sold on the street, right outside my university gate.

The sellers throw a small blanket down on the sidewalk, have a little sign that says “dog fur,” and put out their wares.

The fur is attached to articles of clothing, and the purpose is to keep warm for winter. Obviously, dog fur is abundantly available for it to be sold as a cheap way to keep warm.

Are you re-thinking that plate of beef? I’m not.

Hating This Place Is Fun

2009-11-26T04:10:00.000-05:00

As you have probably noticed, my attitude toward China and my studies is much different than during my first semester here. I’ve realized that hating this place sometimes is okay, and is, in fact, part of the fun of being here.

My friend Andy has a similar attitude. By similar, I mean his attitude is: “Hating this place is fun.”

In class today, Andy complained about how all of our lessons are the same: MaLi and DaWei visit a Chinese family. WangFeng and TianZhong go out to eat. MaLi and WangFeng go to the hospital.

Andy says he’s tired of learning about these things. “Why don’t we have good lessons, like ‘Our system of government sucks,’ or ‘We are totally racist’?” he asked.

Then, during our class break, Andy and I went to a little shop on campus for a snack. “Oh, do they have today’s China Daily?” he asked me. “I’m all out of toilet paper.”

Bones to Pick

2009-11-26T04:07:00.000-05:00

I’m surprised by certain attitudes I come across in China. Attitudes are hard to explain and describe, but this past week my teachers said some things that make certain Chinese attitudes very clear.

Example one.
During my Chinese speaking class, the teacher started talking about China’s Taiwan. “If you go to China’s Taiwan this, and in China’s Taiwan that, and China’s Taiwan is very whatever.” My English classmate Andy, who is not afraid of anything, said, “China’s Taiwan? What about Taiwan’s own Taiwan?” (Andy is my hero.) The teacher said, “China’s Taiwan. Do you have a problem?” Yes, I do.

Example two.
During my Chinese listening class, we were discussing the Chinese phrase for “world famous.” The teacher asked us to give some examples. We mentioned the Great Wall of China, the Terracotta Warriors, and Qingdao beer. Then one student said, “And Jackie Chan!” The teacher frowned a little and then completely straight-faced said, “No, Jackie Chan cannot be considered world famous. See, in Africa they don’t know about him. In Africa, they have no movies and no TV. They are very poor. Jackie Chan is not world famous.” WTF??? My teacher is a graduate student.

I’m not even going to comment on these examples… I will leave that up to you.

Zhong Guo Hua (Chinese)

2009-11-26T04:03:00.000-05:00

Most of the time, I feel awkward as a foreigner in China. Chinese students aren’t satisfied with their country and culture, and they think I’m amazing because I’m an American. They all study English so hard (with no avail…), and they envy my blue eyes and light hair, my pale skin, and “western” facial features. Not cool.

But sometimes, I see Chinese students who are proud of who they are. I was listening to an old song by a pop group with lyrics about the Chinese language. The verses talk about how in London, Moscow, New York, and Berlin, people are being exposed to Chinese culture. (Women wear Chinese-style dresses, eat Lanzhou noodles, pair the electric guitar with an ancient Chinese instrument, etc.) The chorus says, “The whole world is learning Chinese. Confucius’ words are becoming world culture. The whole world is speaking Chinese. People of the world: You’d better listen up!”

My favorite part of the song, though, is “How long have we painstakingly studied English pronunciation and grammar? For a change, it’s their turn to get their tongues in a knot. Chinese people are smart, and our language is beautiful.”

The rest of the song is a series of tongue-twisters that are also really deep riddles. And, the language used is beautiful. Point proven. I’m proud of you for being proud of who you are and where you’re from.

And, let’s be honest, I’ve been listening to this song for over a year and just last week was able to understand the lyrics.

The International Festival

2009-11-26T04:01:00.003-05:00

The International Festival was actually great. My part was not, but the other students really went over-the-top.

My display board was pretty sharp. I had some graphs comparing the U.S. and China’s economy, geography, people, and military, as well as map of the U.S. with China placed on top (I got these materials from www.mint.com). I also had some pictures of famous places in America, President Obama, and U.S. symbols.

Me with my display board... lame.

I had made a pretty good PowerPoint presentation, too. I skipped a whole day of classes to work on it, in fact. I even rehearsed giving my presentation in Chinese. But, welcome to China, they told us at the last minute that we didn’t need the presentations because it would be too bright outside for people to see and there would be no screen, anyway. Thank you, Lanzhou University.

Korean students perform Tae Kwon Do

The main participants in the festival were Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, and Kazakhstan, and all of the Arabic-speaking students worked together for a good performance. Because these groups each had 20-50 students, I felt really left out standing beside a poster board by myself talking to Chinese students about politics and economy. I ditched my display and instead learned about the cultural differences between the Central Asian countries.

A young man and lady from Kyrgyzstan dance together

Girls from Uzbekistan wear traditional dresses and dance

During the festival, sometimes I felt extremely happy and sometimes kind of sad. I felt happy when I watched my good friends sing and dance, wearing traditional clothes. They are so proud of their countries and cultures. On the other hand, I felt really awkward because America is so lame and we don’t know it. I felt a really intense longing to be part of a distinct culture and to have such a strong national pride. These Central Asian countries only recently became independent from Russia (most around 1991) and they really have a lot to celebrate. Many of my friends remember when their countries were part of Russia and how hard life was for their families.

Me being interviewed by the Tashkent news station

Preparing for the International Festival

2009-11-14T00:37:00.002-05:00

A previous post was about university communication and random meetings. Two weeks ago a meeting was called, and at the meeting, we were told that we needed to prepare a presentation about our countries for an international festival. Since I’m the only American, I thought this was quite a large task for one person, but nothing I couldn’t handle. We were told to speak for a few minutes about our country, and make a large display board. No problem.

The next week, another meeting was called, and I had to cancel plans with a friend to attend. There they told us we had six requirements to finish in a week:

1. Wear your country’s clothes and carry a flag across the stage.
2. Prepare a short performance, like a skit.
3. Sing a song or dance.
4. Prepare a powerpoint presentation about your country.
5. Make two large display boards with pictures of your country.
6. Prepare some of your country’s food to display.

Here are my responses to each of these:

1. Crap, I left my cowgirl costume at home!!! Also, I don’t have a flag.
2. I could imitate an American president and talk about things like stamping out Communism, the merits of democracy, and defending human rights…
3. Over my dead body. Do they want me dancing in a bikini or rapping about murdering people?
4. Ok, I can make a powerpoint. It’s going to be sarcastic, though. You can count on it.
5. Yes, I can do this. No problem.
6. Macaroni and cheese? Hot dogs? Gross.

The festival was supposed to be this Saturday, and I stayed home from class on Thursday to prepare. That afternoon, and third meeting was called. They are moving the festival to next Saturday because this Saturday is too cold. Excuse me, but doesn’t the weather get colder and colder as winter approaches?

Insanity. I’ll let you know how it goes next week…

The Gym

2009-11-14T00:36:00.003-05:00

I joined a gym last week. My good Chinese friend LiLi told me about it because she started taking yoga classes there.

The gym is about a 15 minute walk from the university. I walk down a dirty, crowded street, past a poor area of town, and into a dingy building. The elevator is broken, so I climb up to the fourth floor in a dark, damp stair well. The lights are sound-activated and are off until I clap, stomp my feet, or cough.

When I reach the fourth floor, I slowly open the door and find, to my surprise, a completely normal-looking gym. It’s clean, has new equipment, and the people working out seem very western. American pop music is playing. I always breathe deeply and pretend that I’m back in America for just a few minutes. The contrast shocks me every time.

My first day, I had a complete exam, including body composition and strength tests. I found it fascinating, but I was surprised that I can have a nearly fluent conversation in Chinese about things like blood pressure, physical injuries, nutrition, and muscle mass. Using technical words like these is great for my Chinese. When I go to classes, it’s the same. We talk about breathing, body parts, direction words, and motion words.

Recently I had been feeling a little glum and tired; working out has been great for me. I have more energy, and when I get back from a full day of classes, it’s actually relaxing to go for a run or practice yoga.

University Communication

2009-11-14T00:36:00.002-05:00

Communication between professors, departments, the offices, and students at Lanzhou University is ridiculous.

My Chinese friend LiLi is about to graduate from the university with a degree in economics. She told me yesterday that she received a message on QQ, the Chinese instant messenger program, that by next week she must decide on a topic for her undergraduate thesis paper. I know professors in the U.S. sometimes use Facebook as a form of communication with students, but it’s for more casual conversation. A mass QQ message about such a serious topic? Seriously, guys.

LiLi also tells me that she gets random phone calls from classmates saying “So and so told me to tell you that we don’t have class this afternoon. The professor called so and so who told so and so who told me.”

It’s always the same: No emails, no notices. Nothing concrete, written down, or from someone in authority.

It’s the same with us international students. My teachers often receive text messages or phone calls during class, and then they say, “This afternoon at 4:00, you all need to go to the office,” or “Bring your passport, student ID, and 400Y to class tomorrow.” We ask why, what for, etc., but our teachers don’t know either. It’s frustrating, especially if we already have plans.

Last week, a teacher called me twice about a meeting the next afternoon. I showed up at the office and there was no meeting. As I was leaving, I encountered this teacher in the lobby. She said, “Oh, it was cancelled. Please come back tomorrow.” Sheesh…

I joke with friends that I’m going to play a prank and tell everyone to go to the office a certain day and time. The office, obviously having no clue, will be flooded with students and won’t know what to do. Or, I could text everyone saying there is no class one afternoon.

I would never, ever play a prank like this, but it’s the principle. None of our information is credible or reliable. Sometimes I get angry, especially if I must cancel prior plans. And other times, I remind myself that this is China, this is what I signed up for, and I shouldn’t let it get to me.

HSK

2009-11-14T00:34:00.000-05:00

There is a standardized Chinese language test called the HSK; it’s like the TOEFL is for foreign students wanting to study in the U.S.

“HSK” stands for the Chinese words for Chinese Level Examination (Hanyu Shuiping Kaoshi). The highest score is a 9, and I don’t know if many Chinese students could get a 9 on it. The lowest score is a 2 (no, I don’t know what happened to 1).

I’m taking the HSK in two weeks. I’m not nervous about it, because I actually don’t care about my score. I’m fine with getting a 2, and would be absolutely elated to get a 3. The important thing for me is not what my score is, but that I have a score. I can try to describe my Chinese proficiency all I want with words, but having a score is like a pass to getting a job or getting into a Chinese grad school.

I took a practice exam last week and I thought I did horrible on it. Then I talked to some other students and I’m actually ok with getting a 42/120. I’m not sure what HSK score this correlates to… possibly a 3, but I don’t know how the scoring actually works.

I bought my “HB” pencils (there’s no #2 here), got my picture taken for my HSK ID, and am studying grammar every day. Now I’m just waiting…

H1N1, Part II

2009-11-14T00:33:00.001-05:00

I already mentioned how H1N1 has been a big deal here, and how my temperature is checked by my dorm staff. Well, a few weeks ago, the H1N1 vaccine was made available to all university students.

I happened to be taking a nap when my friend frantically called me and said we had to go to the university hospital immediately to get vaccines. I stumbled out of bed and was not prepared for the chaos ensuing at the hospital. Hundreds of students were pushing and shoving, waiting to fill out some papers and get their vaccines. Nurses were injecting people as fast as they could.

Since my friend and I are foreigners, we always get special treatment (not fair, but, hey, I’ll take it!). We went to the front of the “line” and tried to fill out the papers. We only wrote our first names and the name of our dorm; the other blanks were irrelevant since we are not Chinese.

Then we got our vaccines, and the nurses said not to shower for three days. My only guess is that the hospital doesn’t want to be responsible for thousands of students with infections from the unclean water…

That night I started feeling sick. For three days all I did was sleep. On the third morning, I went to the hospital, but they just gave me some cold medicine. That night my fever was ridiculously high, so I went back to the hospital. They tried to take blood, but because I had only been sleeping for the past few days, they could not get any blood from the vein in my arm. This was not a fun process of being poked, prodded, and having to squeeze my fist, move my arm, etc. Finally they were able to get a small amount of blood, just enough to run some tests.

I ended up getting some more shots. After that I was fine except for being tired. I stayed home from class for four more days to rest. I’m completely fine now. I’m pretty sure I was sick because I reacted to the H1N1 vaccine; it was the poor-quality Chinese one, not the standard western one. Once again, great job, China!

I’m not sure if this counts as having H1N1… I think it does, and when I am old, I will tell my children that I went to China, got H1N1 during the 2009 pandemic, and survived.