Pegged as an Outsider

In reference to my previous post about wearing hijab to the mosque, I found myself on the opposite side of a situation that I initiate all the time – It’s me who is usually the one who awkwardly asks people where they’re from.

Example: At the Asian festival in Columbus, I spoke with a woman at a stall selling traditional Chinese art. I could tell by her accent that she was probably from Beijing, or at least northern China. I told her I was interested in the Chinese paper cuttings, and that I had lived in Lanzhou, Gansu. We chatted about western China for a while, and then that dreaded moment came.

“Where are you from?”

“Michigan.”

“Welcome to Ohio!” I said, and left it at that.

I find myself in this situation all the time, and I know that it’s me who is at fault. I’m genuinely curious about other languages and cultures - I’m not judging people for having an accent or different customs. But citizenship, nationality, and identity are touchy subjects for most people.

Another example: I met a woman from Uzbekistan a few weeks ago. When I first asked where she was from, her answer was "Well, I was born in Asia, then my family moved to Russia, and now I live in Cincinnati." We had been talking for about 10 minutes when I realized she must be from Kyrgyzstan or Uzbekistan, so I asked, "Which Asian country were you born in?" She was so surprised that I was familiar with her country!

So my turn came at Masjid Noor, a mosque in Dublin. I was washing my hands in the bathroom when a teenager smiled at me in the mirror. I smiled back and said hi.

“Where are you from?” she asked me.

I was completely caught off guard, not only by the words of her question, but by her unspoken assumption that I was different.

“I’m from Columbus.”

“Oh, cool. Did you come with someone today?”

“Yeah, I came with my friend. We work together.”

Being on the other side helps me to understand better. It made wonder what reasons the girl had for (correctly) guessing that I didn’t quite belong. But at the same time, I recognized her interest in me and my story for how I ended up at the conference at Masjid Noor. And then she hit me with this one:

“You look really beautiful in hijab.”

An Uzbek's View on Kyrgyz Violence

I emailed my Uzbek friend Rustam, who is living in Lanzhou, to check up on my Kyrgyz friends in light of the violence in the south of their country. I have many Kyrgyz friends who I met through Lanzhou University, some of whom are still in Lanzhou and some who have gone home. One Kyrgyz couple who I was especially good friends with is in a unique situation: the husband is still in Lanzhou while his wife went back home to her family to give birth to their child. Naturally, I have been worried about these friends and their families. And, thankfully, I heard back that everyone is safe and well.

While my main purpose was to ask about the well-being of my friends, I also asked Rustam about his take on the violence and about why he thinks the attacks are occurring. I told him some reasons I have heard in the international media, including economic problems being blamed on the Uzbeks, the corrupt government egging on the violence, the fear of Uzbekistan encroaching on Kyrgyzstan, and gang violence based on ethnic hatred. Here is part of his email (awkwardly translated from Chinese):

"Caitlin, I think that all the reasons you listed are in fact causes of the conflict [economy, corrupt government, fear of Uzbekistan encroaching on Kyrgyzstan, and gangs] except for the one about Uzbekistan wanting Kyrgyzstan's land. Over there in Kyrgyzstan, I think there is one significant force between the Uzbeks and Kyrgyz that is provoking the violence: From what the Kyrgyz are saying, the Uzbeks are being beaten to death and a ton of women are being raped. The Uzbeks are verifying all of this. There is also another large factor, and that is that the people who are dying are innocent. It's just like a huge, awful game, and in this game the ones who suffer are the pawns, just like in chess."

The image of a game of chess is powerful. The pawns, the little innocent guys, are being slaughtered for the sake of the major players like the knights, rooks, kings, and queens, who perhaps represent the government, and are just out to win their battles at others' expense. We can only hope for a quick checkmate.

Tell It Like It Is

In this news story about China sending aircraft to bring its citizens in Kyrgyzstan back to China, a Uighur man tells it like it is: "This is the first time I thank our motherland [China]." Oh, snap.

Also, China has sent 20 tons of aid (food, water, tents) to Kyrgyzstan, but I would like to point out that it came from Xinjiang, the autonomous region in northwest China which is populated mostly by the Uighur minority. Maybe it was funded by the national government and came from Xinjiang because this region is closest to Kyrgyzstan, but who knows.

In other related news, the benevolent United States of America is taking a very small, late, and indecisive step toward helping out in Kyrgyzstan by sending an "envoy" to "assess the situation." Here's the situation: people in Central Asia are dying. If and when US aid happens, that aid had better not go only to the Kyrgyz. The United States must help out the ethnic Uzbeks who are being uprooted from their homes and families and are fleeing into Uzbekistan.

Thoughts on Kyrgyz Violence

The violence in Kyrgyzstan is depressing, discouraging, and worrisome to me. I am constantly checking the news and searching for more pictures and video. It just hurts me so much to think about my Central Asian friends and their families, their languages and cultures and customs and rituals... to think about them in this context of violence.

The countries of Central Asia each have their own distinct culture, history, and language. After gaining independence from the Soviet Union around 1990, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Turkmenistan, and Tajikistan have had minor clashes. Ethnic problems are at the top of the list since people of each country's ethnic group live in the other countries- like the ethnic Uzbeks living in Kyrgyzstan who are being killed every day. With no explanation. Sure, Uzbekistan is a double-landlocked country with an overflowing population, but it's implausible for them to want to or try to take over Kyrgyzstan. I feel like these countries should be in this together. After suffering under the Soviets, they all became free and in control of their own livelihoods. They should be celebrating.

I clearly remember, right after the international festival at Lanzhou University last fall, my friends told me about when they were young children and their families were poor. Their parents worked tirelessly, and it was for nothing (well, it was for Russia). After they became free, life was so much better and happier. The countries celebrated their uniqueness and nationalism was encouraged.

But maybe it is backfiring now, all that nationalism. It reminds me of my post from December of 2009 about the fight in my dorm building. There is such a fine line there between respect and pride.

And, to conclude this jumbled post, on days like today I take a step back and look at how much my life has changed. I used to get upset and riled up about completely normal things. And now my heart pounds as I read news about Kyrgyzstan, and I have no one to discuss it with. I cry when I hear about Uzbeks' houses being burnt and women and children fleeing to the border, and there is no one there to share the pain I feel. Wouldn't my life be a lot simpler if I had never gone to China and met wonderful people who taught me about all these cultures? It's times like these that for fleeting moments I wish I was "normal" and didn't have these painful burdens from what I have learned and grown to care about. I got into a debate in class once about learning- that it's not always a good thing, that learning can be detrimental. My classmates thought I was off my rocker, and, you know what, I am.

Man sizni sevaman.

The Fight

So my last post was basically to introduce a cultural custom that culminated in a fight in my dorm that my friend Rustam broke up. Here’s the story.

I was coming back from eating dinner with my friend Lily when a huge, bloody brawl broke out at my doorstep. Lily and I climbed the back stairs up to my floor, and at the top of steps were about 30 of the guys from Central Asia. They were blocking the way to get to my room. We had heard them yelling as we came up, but when I saw their faces, I was scared to death. I grabbed Lily and turned the other way, going straight to Rustam’s room for safety. But Rustam’s door was wide open and no one was inside. We went back into the hallway, but in the opposite direction of the fight.

It suddenly got really, really quiet. Then Rustam marched down the hallway into his room. He went to his bathroom and started washing his hands, but not before I saw all the blood going down the drain. There was blood all over his shirt, too. I took Lily’s arm and we tried to go back to my room, but all the guys were still there and wouldn’t let me through. I just starting pushed them aside and went through anyway. At my door, there was blood smeared all over the hallway floor and wall. I felt sick.

Later, Rustam came by and told us the story. A guy from Kazakhstan went to shake hands with a guy from Kyrgyzstan, and he intentionally shook his hand “the wrong way” showing disrespect. They yelled at each other for a few minutes, then all the Kazakh guys came to defend their country, and the all Kyrgyz guys did the same. The Uzbek guys obviously wanted to watch. While they were yelling, Rustam was doing his evening prayers. Needless to say, people started throwing punches, and a bloody nose made everything messy. At this point, Rustam went out to break up the fight. He said two guys were fighting, and the rest were just watching. Disgusting. Rustam also said that when Lily and I came up to the floor, the guys were mortified. And they didn’t want to let us go through when it was over because they didn’t want us to see the blood. While they can be pretty wild and like to fight, they always keep a sense of respect for women. When I see them now, some act ashamed. Rightfully so.

Hello, culture shock.

International Festival Follow-Up

One of the Uzbek students here is a reporter for the news station in Uzbekistan’s capital city, Tashkent. He made a news package about the international festival and posted it on this Chinese video site, so you can get a feel for what the festival was like.

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMTM1ODk2NjQ0.html

At about one minute into the video, there’s a short clip of me speaking Uzbek. I’m just saying the normal greeting, “Assalomu alaykum.” Nothing complicated.

These Foreign Names!

There's an international student here from Uzbekistan whose name is pronounced "horse sh*t."

I can't look him in the eye, and we don't ever speak because I'm afraid of laughing.

The International Festival

The International Festival was actually great. My part was not, but the other students really went over-the-top.

My display board was pretty sharp. I had some graphs comparing the U.S. and China’s economy, geography, people, and military, as well as map of the U.S. with China placed on top (I got these materials from www.mint.com). I also had some pictures of famous places in America, President Obama, and U.S. symbols.


Me with my display board... lame.

I had made a pretty good PowerPoint presentation, too. I skipped a whole day of classes to work on it, in fact. I even rehearsed giving my presentation in Chinese. But, welcome to China, they told us at the last minute that we didn’t need the presentations because it would be too bright outside for people to see and there would be no screen, anyway. Thank you, Lanzhou University.


Korean students perform Tae Kwon Do

The main participants in the festival were Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, and Kazakhstan, and all of the Arabic-speaking students worked together for a good performance. Because these groups each had 20-50 students, I felt really left out standing beside a poster board by myself talking to Chinese students about politics and economy. I ditched my display and instead learned about the cultural differences between the Central Asian countries.


A young man and lady from Kyrgyzstan dance together


Girls from Uzbekistan wear traditional dresses and dance

During the festival, sometimes I felt extremely happy and sometimes kind of sad. I felt happy when I watched my good friends sing and dance, wearing traditional clothes. They are so proud of their countries and cultures. On the other hand, I felt really awkward because America is so lame and we don’t know it. I felt a really intense longing to be part of a distinct culture and to have such a strong national pride. These Central Asian countries only recently became independent from Russia (most around 1991) and they really have a lot to celebrate. Many of my friends remember when their countries were part of Russia and how hard life was for their families.


Me being interviewed by the Tashkent news station

Islam

My friend from Uzbekistan, Rustam, is teaching me about Islam. I’ve taken two classes on Islam at Muskingum, and I’ve read several books and numerous articles dealing with the religion, but seeing how one Muslim lives his life every day is a whole different matter.

Rustam prays five times every day. He knows the Koran well. He doesn’t drink or smoke. He’s not allowed to hug or kiss a girl. One time Rustam told me, “I am human. Of course I want to do these things. But living my life the way that I know is right is the most important thing.”

I know many other Muslims who are not so strict about their lifestyles. I appreciate learning about Islam from someone who is not only a close friend, but is someone who knows what he believes, why he believes it, and lives accordingly.

We have talked about what Christians think of Islam, and what Muslims think of Christianity. Basically, one simply has to decide which teachings to believe. Both sides think the other started out correct, but then went down the wrong path.

I can’t stop thinking about one thing… Both Christianity and Islam cannot be right. If what I’ve been taught my whole life is true, does God not hear Rustam’s prayers? Why would God listen to me, a horrible person, and not Rustam, who is so pure and sincere in his faith? My heart hurts when I think about this, and I have to believe that God does listen.

My Uzbek Friends

I met my first real friends here while in the kitchen. Rustam and his sister Shokhina are from Uzbekistan and prefer their country’s food to Chinese food. Rustam and I speak Chinese to each other, and Shokhina and I speak English. To each other, Rustam and Shokhina speak Russian or Uzbek. Each of us acts as translators at some point during every conversation. It’s a pretty good system.

The night we met, Shokhina was cooking soup with lamb, carrots, and rice. We talked for a long time since it took a while for it to cook. They invited me to eat with them, so in Rustam’s room we talked for an hour more.

Since then, we often hang out and go places together. I really enjoy being with them even though the cultural differences are significant. Many American girls would be offended by the way Rustam treats me; He doesn’t want me to walk anywhere alone, I’m not allowed to pay for anything when we’re together, and he often suggests things I should or shouldn’t do based on how life in Uzbekistan is. I remind him that things are different in America, that I am very independent, and that I have been living my life my own way for over 20 years. It’s just too hard for him to accept sometimes, and it’s never a big deal to me, so he usually gets his way.

For example, one time our taxi driver wouldn’t accept a large bill from Rustam. I had smaller change and paid before Rustam could object. Later, Rustam insisted on repaying me in 1 and 0.5 denominations. We argued about it for several minutes, and there was nothing I could do but take it. Another time, I hung out with Rustam and Shokhina after I had taken a shower, and my hair was still damp. Rustam handed me a hairdryer and made me blow dry my hair because he thought I would get sick otherwise.

I’m learning so much about Islam, Central Asia, and Uzbek culture from Shokhina and Rustam. I’ve watched Rustam perform his ritual hand and head cleansing, get out his prayer rug, face west, and spend five minutes praying out loud, standing, kneeling, and bowing. I’ve learned how sacred bread is to them. “You can stand on the Koran to reach bread, but you can’t stand on bread to reach the Koran.” Shokhina is getting married soon, so I’ve also learned about their wedding traditions and family life in Uzbekistan.

In addition, Rutam has started teaching me Russian. Last time I was in Lanzhou, I wish I would have taken more advantage of all the things I can learn from my classmates. So, I’m going to first learn to read Russian, and then learn to speak it. I don’t expect to learn very much since Chinese is difficult enough, but I hope to get a good background in the language.

Classes

When I got to the university, I took a Chinese language placement exam. I thought it was pretty difficult, and I expected to test into the beginning-level second-semester course. I guess I tested better than I thought, because I’m in the third-semester course. This course has listening, speaking, reading, and comprehensive Chinese classes. I’m also taking a class to prepare for the HSK, which is the Chinese level examination. I will take the HSK in November. Additionally, I am taking a physical education class called tai ji chuan. This is similar to tai chi, but not the same.

My class has about 15 students, and 10 are from Kazakhstan. A plurality of the international students, however, are from Uzbekistan. There aren’t any other Americans, but an English guy named Andy is in my class – we’ve been trying to keep each other sane through this first week of classes, which is hard. We haven’t really hung out, but we’re both really glad that there’s someone else in Lanzhou that we can relate to.

Anyway, my classes are difficult. Every week I am responsible for over 100 new characters, as well as memorizing grammatical structures. I have lots of reading and lots of homework. The hardest part of my classes, however, isn’t the actual material. It’s understanding what my teachers are saying! They speak quickly and, of course, only use Chinese.

I think I’ll do fine in the classes as long as I study every day. In the U.S. (I hope none of my professors are reading this!) I never study. Maybe possibly just before a test, and only a little before final exams. In China, I have class from 8:30 – 12:30 and sometimes again from 2:30 – 4:00. And I spend the entire afternoon and evening studying. Hopefully as my skills improve this semester, I can cut the studying down to 1 or 2 hours per night, but right now it’s kind of ridiculous.

AND one of my teachers rescheduled a class for this Friday night from 7-9 because she can’t make our regular class time. It’s not optional, especially for me since I’m an exchange student. Great.

Arrival in Lanzhou

I’m here safely!

My flights went well, and I got to Lanzhou on Wednesday night and went straight to the university. It was a rough introduction to campus because they weren’t exactly ready for me to come. I stayed in a random room with some girls from Uzbekistan just for that night. The next day I went to the International Office to get everything settled. I wouldn’t have been able to do it if my Chinese friend Lili hadn’t come to my rescue. Lili kept me from getting stressed out, interpreted complicated dialogue, and let me use her internet to call my family over Skype.

This semester, there are tons of international students. So many that two international student housing buildings are completely full! Consequently, I am in a single room in Zhuan Jia Lou, where I stayed last time I was here. This year, Zhuan Jia Lou is all male housing… but it’s hotel-style, so it doesn’t matter that I’m there. The female housing is full, and it doesn’t have a kitchen or laundry room. I am certainly living the good life.

As nice as a single room is, I wish I had a roommate. I’m in a room on the top floor of the building, all the way at the end of the hall. I feel isolated. I know I’ll meet people, but it’s so much easier when you live with someone.

I feel really comfortable and at home here in Lanzhou and at Lanzhou University because I know my way around. It’s fun to help out the other international students, especially those who don’t speak Chinese (yet!).

International Students

I can't say for sure what it's like at other American colleges and universities, but at my home college, the international students stick together. It's not that they don't want to meet Americans or that none of their friends are Americans. But they spent their first days in America together, they live together, they go to class together, etc.

Well now I'm one of “them."

I have made several Chinese friends, but I spend much more time with the other international students. We all live in the same building and are so different from those around us that we have much in common. We talk about learning Chinese, traveling in China, our impressions of the country, missing our family and friends, and what it is like in our home countries.

Also, the way Chinese language classes are set up isolates us from the other students. Most of my classes are in a classroom on the floor where I live. The other students in my class are beginning Chinese international students as well. My roommate and the other girls we hang out with took the beginning courses last semester, so are taking the intermediate courses together now.

And, finally, many of the Chinese students are too shy to speak to me. Many stare at me and laugh if I say hi to them, but not nearly to the degree I experienced while in Fugu.

Hopefully I will get to spend more time with the Chinese students as the semester moves along. But honestly, I enjoy learning about Korea, Africa, Russia, Kazakhstan, Japan, Mongolia, Australia, and Uzbekistan while enjoying the culture and customs of China. It's the best of both worlds, or should I say, the whole world?