05 June 2011

Pegged as an Outsider

In reference to my previous post about wearing hijab to the mosque, I found myself on the opposite side of a situation that I initiate all the time – It’s me who is usually the one who awkwardly asks people where they’re from.

Example: At the Asian festival in Columbus, I spoke with a woman at a stall selling traditional Chinese art. I could tell by her accent that she was probably from Beijing, or at least northern China. I told her I was interested in the Chinese paper cuttings, and that I had lived in Lanzhou, Gansu. We chatted about western China for a while, and then that dreaded moment came.

“Where are you from?”

“Michigan.”

“Welcome to Ohio!” I said, and left it at that.

I find myself in this situation all the time, and I know that it’s me who is at fault. I’m genuinely curious about other languages and cultures - I’m not judging people for having an accent or different customs. But citizenship, nationality, and identity are touchy subjects for most people.

Another example: I met a woman from Uzbekistan a few weeks ago. When I first asked where she was from, her answer was "Well, I was born in Asia, then my family moved to Russia, and now I live in Cincinnati." We had been talking for about 10 minutes when I realized she must be from Kyrgyzstan or Uzbekistan, so I asked, "Which Asian country were you born in?" She was so surprised that I was familiar with her country!

So my turn came at Masjid Noor, a mosque in Dublin. I was washing my hands in the bathroom when a teenager smiled at me in the mirror. I smiled back and said hi.

“Where are you from?” she asked me.

I was completely caught off guard, not only by the words of her question, but by her unspoken assumption that I was different.

“I’m from Columbus.”

“Oh, cool. Did you come with someone today?”

“Yeah, I came with my friend. We work together.”

Being on the other side helps me to understand better. It made wonder what reasons the girl had for (correctly) guessing that I didn’t quite belong. But at the same time, I recognized her interest in me and my story for how I ended up at the conference at Masjid Noor. And then she hit me with this one:

“You look really beautiful in hijab.”

04 June 2011

The First Time I Wore Hijab

I can tell a good friend by how she suggests we spend time together. I got this text at work yesterday:

“I’m going to a conference tonight at Masjid Noor and was wondering if you’d like to come. There’s going to be some really great speakers. Let me know.”

Movies, a bar, shopping… not so much. A conference? On Islam? Heck yes. Friends for life.

“So I wanted to let you know, in case you were wondering, that you do not need to cover your hair at the Masjid. You can if you’d like, but it’s your decision, and totally ok if you don’t want to : )”

She came over after work and we ate portabella mushroom salad, and then I put on hijab. It was so normal, and that’s what I’m writing about. I put it on and walked out the door. We went to the bank and chatted with a woman at the ATM. I don’t even think she noticed my head covering. So normal. We drove to the mosque. All the women were in hijab, so of course it was normal. We did salat. So normal. We listened to a speaker. We did salat again, because it was that time. Another speaker. And salat. And a speaker. Beautiful.

Have you ever learned so much in one evening, yet you feel like you knew it all along?

17 April 2011

Food Deserts

I live a food desert, something that’s getting a lot of attention in the news lately. (I prefer food desserts, which is eating cookies for dinner, but that’s a different blog post altogether.)

There isn’t, in my opinion, a good definition for “food desert,” but it’s basically a place where healthy, affordable food is hard to get. That’s totally relative, and one key that everyone seems to be missing is access. Example: There aren’t grocery stores in suburban neighborhoods. But those who live in the suburbs choose to live there and have cars. No one thinks twice about access to food.

(I was talking to a friend about this topic, and she was like, “Yeah, I totally live in a food desert, too. I have to drive, like, 5 minutes to get to a grocery store, and I’m like, OMG, I only need some organic soy milk. Like WTF, put a store closer!” Um… I think you’re totally missing the whole point???)

So as I was saying, in the so-called food deserts, access to the healthy, affordable food is the problem. Example: The nearest grocery store is maybe a mile or two away, but the residents don’t have cars to get there. It’s impractical to take toddlers in strollers on that long walk, for example, and I can tell you from experience that bags of apples, potatoes, and canned vegetables are really heavy. So this is where the problem starts – that it’s more convenient to go to the corner gas station or liquor store and buy unhealthy and more expensive food. (And then it’s more difficult to save up to buy a car, to move to a better location, or to otherwise change the various situations - a huge downward spiral.)

While we’re talking about convenience, I would just like to conveniently point out this convenience store that’s on my convenient bus route to Kroger. (Sign enlarged for your convenient inspection.)



Convinent. What?

But back to the point.

Who decided that having a car is an American right? What’s wrong with not having a car? There’s this certain attitude of pity and condescension about frequent bus usage going around. Like my last post suggested, some people believe that privileged white girls should not be riding the bus with all the riffraff (other than to commute to and from work downtown, when only the white and privileged are passengers). I’m kind of sick of this mindset.

And now back to the main point. I choose to live this way, and it's really fulfilling. I feel guilty, a lot of times, that my lifestyle is a type of game, a test, a challenge for myself – just one more way to learn something new and see the world from a different perspective. And as I’m looking around at the families around me, I see that not everyone else living this way has a choice about it. It’s not a game, and they can’t just get out of it at any time. I wonder if I would be happy if it weren’t my own decision.

11 April 2011

Please Judge Me

“Ask that girl. Dude, ask her.”

It’s just another Friday night, and I’m waiting for the bus, pretending that I’m not being gawked at by some teenagers. I can’t tell whether they’re male or female: late teens, baggy clothes, hats and sunglasses. They’re laughing and seem good natured. It takes me back to high school and even college – just laughing with friends like there’s no one else around.

I’m listening to their conversation because I have nothing better to do. “Gawd, I’mma tired. When’ll this damn bus come?” And, “Dude, I need some WEED!”

And then I hear it again, like a dare, “Just ask that girl.”

One of them takes a step toward me. I’ve been pretending this whole time that I’m invisible. I don’t see them, and they don’t see me. Like when you’re a kid and you pretend you’re asleep so your dad will carry you upstairs.

“Miss! Hey, miss.”

The kid steps toward me, so I have no choice but to look him (her?) in the eye, and I can’t help but think he probably didn’t have a dad who carried him upstairs to bed.

“Miss, I was wondering..."

But I don’t let him finish.

“I think you already know that I don’t have any weed,” I say, firmly at first, but then I can’t help but grin at the absurdity of it.

The kid is just a few feet from me when he lunges back toward his friends, losing the courage he had to approach me. He’s doubled up with laughter and hiding his face out of shyness. They’re all laughing, and so am I.

“We just… want to know… the time,” they’re saying at once, gasping for air.

It is extremely hilarious, given the contrast.

“Miss, what’re you doin ridin the COTA?” the weed kid asks me, completely incredulous. I guess girls like me aren’t supposed to ride the bus at 9:15 at night.

I feel like someone punched me in the stomach.

“I always do,” I say feebly. But that isn’t even close to answering what he was asking.

We talk for a while, and they won’t stop calling me “miss,” even after I tell them my name.

And I think I might cry, but not because this is a story about a little white girl who earns the black kids’ respect because she rides the bus like they do. It’s not that; I’ll never pretend to understand them.

I’m going to cry because it’s a story about some sweet kids on the street corner who think that they will always deserve to be on that street corner waiting for the bus.


*This happened to me in February, and I can't get it out of my mind.*

23 February 2011

A Different Side to the Story



Ok, what the heck, right?
Here's a translation of what's going on.

The first line of text sets the stage: On Feb. 20, 2011, the American ambassador Jon Huntsman was at this Jasmine Revolution protest site in Beijing, and he was heard chanting in favor of the revolution. ("Let the revolution lead the way" type of thing.)

*Just a note here: I obviously can't confirm or deny that this was Jon Huntsman. Let's just go with it for the sake of the video!

Next is the remarks from two Chinese people, presumably behind the camera.

"Do you hope China will be in chaos?" (This question is directed at Huntsman.)
"This is the American ambassador in China!"

Next comes the red graphic and lines of text with some leading questions:
"Is this a maneuver to incite a Chinese “color revolution?”
Why is the American ambassador at the site making a farce by encouraging and cheering it on?
Who knows, but it was captured online."

Ok, now for the rest of the video in front of McDonald's. Here's the conversation:
“Excuse me, American ambassador, what did you run out here to do?”
“I just came to watch a little," Huntsman says.
“Is it that you hope China will be in chaos?”
“It cannot be,” says Huntsman.
“Aren’t you the American ambassador?" (No response.)
"This is the American ambassador to China!”
“None of you guys know?” (I think he's asking the crowd to confirm.)
“Don’t pretend you don’t know!” (Directed at Huntsman)
“You’re concealing that you understand and are pretending to be confused, aren’t you?” (Directed at Huntsman)
(Then the ambassador and his group walk away.)

Now back to the flashy text:
"It’s true! China’s problems are many! To reform the people’s livelihood, morals, beliefs, we have heavy anxiety.
But we don’t want to become Iraq!
We don’t want to become Tunisia!
We don’t want to become Egypt!
This country in chaos - 1.3 billion people - to count on America and these “revolutionaries leading the way” to still have food to eat?
Don’t f*cking bullsh*t! (repeated three times)"

Jasmine Revolution - My Translation

*Yesterday, a battle cry for the Jasmine Revolution in China was posted on the Boxun blog. I did my own translation of it, and I obviously tried to be as accurate as possible. There are a few points where I am not sure how correct my translation is, and I hope you can correct me if you find errors - the original Chinese text is at the bottom. Most importantly, know that I am not taking sides or advocating this revolution. I just think it's important to have this translated into English.*



"Boxun has received a new statement, circulated as received.
We are China’s “Jasmine” revolution instigators.

We have seen how Chinese society already has been totally defeated. Poisonous food outbreaks are happening thick and fast, and the younger generation has already been deeply harmed. The Chinese authoritarian regime has already lost faith and gotten benefit of the spoils of groups that cannot help themselves, day by day converting more to fascism. The system of rule and local administrative corruption, embezzling, and bribes run wild. Judiciary independence is taking steps backward, the officials and second-generation officials are monopolizing all of the resources in the system; society has become seriously polarized, and the disparity between rich and poor is increasing. Prices of commodities are rising, especially the skyrocketing housing prices, leading the people to resentment and boiling discontentment. The citizens’ human rights situation is especially horrible: taking people into custody at will, rampant kidnappings, and media censorship is becoming more and more stringent. Those conscious of the media have slowly shattered the rice bowl. The 35 articles of the “Constitution” exist in name only; public property is wantonly plundered, and the razing of buildings and moving out of the occupants leads to death, and even to people setting themselves on fire. China is already sinking its resources into a black hole, polluting the environment, committing ecocide, leaving a troubled legacy for our descendents.

We deeply feel the cause springs from the authoritarian regime. What has made us most uneasy is that the rulers have already completely blocked up our rising passageway. In the civil service exam, we can’t compete with the children of the officers. We have no method to do business with businesses, and the country is entering back into the influential countervailing capital. We can only carry on our backs the high prices and burden of high inflation, and struggle for survival, forever unable to see the future.

It’s we alone who possess this virtual space in which we sense our existence. This week we will incite the “Jasmine Revolution,” and it’s our hope that we can borrow the wave of democracy from the Middle East and North Africa, to press for reform or change, changing the present type of unfairness and unjustness, day by day sinking into our current situation. The success of the activities on Feb. 20 caused us delighted surprise, but also brought us grief and anger as masses of those who pursue freedom and love their country were harassed by the authorities without being given legal proceedings and were put under house arrest and detained, and even experienced bodily harm and cruelty to the point of nearly dying.

They are political prisoners,

They are the heroes of the Chinese people who pursue freedom and democracy, and they are the unyielding Jasmine revolutionaries!

For those who lost freedom including: Tang Shitian, Jiang Tianyong, Teng Biao, Liu Guohui, Chen Wei, Ran Yunfei, Li Tiantian, Yan Jinfeng, Shen Bin, Liang Haiyi… and also to those who lost their freedom and at any time could have their lives threatened, like the blind lawyer Chen and his wife…

For them, we will call for this:

Let us replace our internet profile pictures with the Jasmine image,

Right now, let us Jasmine line up to use MSN, QQ, Twitter, blogs, and Gtalk

Just like them, we also are unyielding Jasmine!

Let us use social networking sites to welcome our Jasmine heroes’ return.

At the same time, we urge the authorities as soon as possible to release the political prisoners who were illegally kidnapped. Otherwise, in the coming weeks, we will organize more mature, larger scale actions of the Jasmine Revolution against the authorities for their illegal abduction and persecution!

If before midnight on Thursday, the authorities have not released the prisoners, this week we will continue at 220 announced mobilization points (of which the locations may by modified). Detailed changes will be announced later because the internet conditions won’t allow us to announce them. So then, my friends, go forward this week to the meeting places.

When the time comes, we only need to go to the appointed spots, far from the onlookers, silently following, taking advantage of this opportunity, with courage shouting the slogans, and perhaps, changing history starting from this moment.

We will all come together as brothers and sisters. Please keep watch and help each other. If it happens that those who participate in the assembly receive adverse treatment to the point of the maximum that can be tolerated, do not delay in giving them support. When the meeting ends, do not leave behind any trash because we Chinese are of great character and are required to pursue democracy and freedom.

Right before dawn is the darkest moment, but the first light surely comes. Let us all together welcome in the dawn.

Our main focus and goals this week:
Demand that the authorities immediately, and without us having to meet any conditions, release Tang Shitian, Jiang Tianyong, Teng Biao, Liu Guohui, Gu Chuan, Chen Wei, Ran Yunfei, Li Tiantian, Yan Jinfeng, Shen Bin, Liang Haiyi, and also Chen and his wife.

Our slogans are these:

Release the political prisoners (the three characters for “political prisoners” can be replaced with specific names instead)

We want to eat
We want to work
We want housing

We want fairness
We want justice

Protect private property
Maintain judicial independence

Start political reform
End one party rule
Open the press restrictions
Allow freedom of the press

Long live freedom
Long live democracy"

博讯收到新版声明,原文照发:
我们是中国“茉莉花”革命的发起者。

我们看到,中国社会已经全面溃败,有毒食品层出不穷,连下一代都已经深受其害;中国专制政权已经失去信仰,成为利益分赃的团体而无力自救,日渐法西斯化;统治体系吏治腐败、贪污贿赂横行、司法独立全面倒退,官员及官二代垄断了所有的体制内资源;社会两极分化严重、贫富更加悬殊、物价上涨特别是房价飞涨而导致民怨沸腾;国人人权状况尤为恶劣,任意监禁、强制失踪广泛发生,新闻审查愈发严厉,有良知的媒体人纷纷被打碎饭碗,《宪法》三十五条形同虚设;民众财产被肆意掠夺,因拆迁而导致的死亡甚至自焚时有发生;中国已经沦为资源黑洞、环境污染、生态破坏,遗害子孙......

我们深感于,这一切的根源都源自于专制政权。更让我们不安的是,执政者已经全面堵塞了我们的上升通道。考公务员,我们竞争不过官二代;经商做生意,我们无法与“国进民退”的权贵资本抗衡,我们只能背负着高房价与高通胀的重负,挣扎求存,永远看不到未来。

我们唯一拥有的,就是虚拟空间给我们的存在感。我们在上周发起了中国“茉莉花革命”,就是希望能借北非中东的民主化浪潮,促使中国发生改良或变革,改变目前这种不公不义日渐沉沦的现状。

2月20日活动的成效很让我们惊喜,但我们也悲愤地看到,大批追求民主自由的爱国人士被当局未经法律程序骚扰、软禁及拘禁,甚至受到肉体上的残酷近害。

他们是政治犯,

他们是为中华民族追求自由民主的英雄,他们是不屈的茉莉花!

为了失去自由的唐吉田、江天勇、滕彪、刘国慧、陈卫、冉云飞、李天天、晏今锋、沈斌、梁海怡......也为了失去自由、并且随时有生命危险的盲人律师陈光诚夫妇......

为了他们,我们呼吁:
让我们将自己的网络ID的头像图标换成茉莉花吧,

现在就让我们的茉莉花在MSN、QQ、Twitter、博客、Gtalk上列队,

和他们一样,我们也是不屈的茉莉花!

让我们用互联网上茉莉花的花海来让加害人民者胆寒!

让我们用互联网上茉莉花的花海来迎接我们英雄的归来!

同时,我们敦促当局尽快释放这些非法绑架的政治犯,否则在即将到来的周未,我们将组织更成熟、更具规模的茉莉花革命行动来抗议当局对他们的非法绑架和迫害!

如果周四午夜前当局仍未释放这些政治犯,我们本周仍将继续在220公布的地点发动集会(部分地点略有变更),具体地点变更将随后公布, 如因网络条件无法公布,则请朋友们前往上周集合地点。

届时,我们只需要走到指定的地点,远远的围观,默默地跟随,顺势而为,勇敢地喊出你的口号,或许,历史就从这一刻开始改变。

走到一起来的,都是兄弟姐妹,请守望相助。如发生参与集会人员受到不良对待请以最大的容忍处理,旁人也请及时支持。集会结束时,不要留下垃圾,中国人,是高素质的,是有条件追求民主自由的。

黎明前更黑暗,但曙光一定要到来。让我们一起迎来黎明!

我们本周的主要具体目标:
要求当局立即无条件释放唐吉田、江天勇、滕彪、刘国慧、古川、陈卫、冉云飞、李天天、晏今锋、沈斌、梁海怡、陈光诚夫妇等人

我们的口号是:

释放政治犯 (“政治犯”三字也可用具体人名替代)

我们要吃饭
我们要工作
我们要住房

我们要公平
我们要公义

保障私有产权
维护司法独立

启动政治改革
结束一党专政
开放报禁
新闻自由

自由万岁
民主万岁

06 February 2011

Progress?

I’m making progress on my trying-to-match-Chinese-life issues, and I think I’ve put forth a grand effort. I actually get online now (as you can tell): spending time on Facebook, Twitter, and even watching episodes of The Office and the Colbert Report on Hulu. Pretty good, huh?

But I feel so unproductive! Guilty, almost.

That is, except for the ability to listen to Chinese music all day on Baidu.com (the major search engine in China), to look up characters on my favorite online Chinese dictionary, and to read about what’s going on in China during the New Year and Spring Festival.

Moderation? Balance? My Chinese friend Li Li came to visit in January, and we talked a lot about balance. She is studying economics at the graduate level and is, understandably, seeking more balance in her life. As for me, I think I am balanced, and the rest of the world is out-of-whack.

For example, one of The Office episodes I watched is the one where Michael goes crazy on everyone about their New Year’s resolutions. And I totally agree with him. Buck up and get your crap done, everyone. It’s not hard. Stop reading this blog. Go clean your kitchen, and then read a book. Seriously, you do have the time. Because I did. Before I started watching The Office and refreshing my Facebook and Twitter pages.

Maybe this attitude I have comes from seeing how hard everyone in China works every day. In America, we have these ideas about what it means to work hard, earn money, achieve career goals. But the concepts are totally different in Asia. I realize that nothing is stopping me (or should be stopping me) from getting things done, so I try to do them.

I guess this goes back to that whole missing China idea. I had been trying to match that lifestyle, and then when I recently stopped, I simply made everything about China again in a different way. Just confirmation that I’m not crazy. Well, at least that I’m deciding to be crazy instead of it happening by accident. There’s a difference.