Ramadan Wrap Up

Maybe. Maybe it's a wrap up. I just have a lot I could write about, so this "wrap up" might come in installments. We'll see :)

Overall, my experience was wonderful. There wasn't anything that I didn't like about my observance of Ramadan, but there are aspects that I can be critical of.

I love how the focus during Ramadan is on family and friends. The iftar meal each night is a chance for different families to host and be guests of each other. It's really a community celebration, even - and especially - when not done at the mosque. Side note here: I had briefly thought about continuing my experience, but it is truly pointless to observe on one's own. Fasting all day only to eat some cereal by myself at 8:33 at night does not make any sense. The point, again, is community.

I also appreciate the true focus on what Islam means, both globally and to Muslims personally. Contrary to how I perceive that Christian holidays have slowly lost meaning over time, what I saw of Ramadan leads me to believe that it is solely about the religion and the Muslim community. There's no way around it. Muslims are supposed to read the entire Quran during the month, and long sections are read out loud at the mosque each night. No one misses prayers during Ramadan. It's not okay to skip them during this month. There's no room for half-heartedness. And the fact that the strict observance lasts for 30 days solidifies commitment to the religion. It's would be a different matter if it only lasted a week or so. I should also mention charitable giving and helping those in need - part of the reason for fasting, my friend said, is to know what it is like to be hungry and to have true empathy for the poor - and then to do something about it.

My critique of all of this is what I perceive as legalism. I kept thinking things like, "How cruel is it to forbid drinking water! You can't even miss one prayer? Why is it necessary to wake up at 5 a.m. and not simply eat breakfast when you wake up and fast the rest of the day? Why are there so many rules?!?!?" The answer to these questions, though, is that the strict observance keeps Islam true to its roots. My Muslim friends stress that above everything else. The reason for all of the rules and stipulations and strictness is so that Islam does not drastically change over time. (And that is something that I personally struggle with in regard to Christianity - that I believe it has changed into something that was not originally intended.)

And now for a discussion of women and hijab. I think hijab is great. It's not mandatory to wear it. Each woman makes the decision for herself. (Obviously, some countries and cultures have their own rules, but I'm speaking generally.) Some women never "veil." Women who do wear hijab are taught not to look down on those who do not. My friend said to me, in reference to a multitude of subjects like showing feet during prayer and how to place your hands, that each Muslim has his or her own view of what is right or wrong in regard to the smaller details of the religion, and it is what is in the heart that matters. So a woman who does not wear hijab may be a "better" Muslim in her heart than a woman who wears hijab and thinks herself better than others.

And now I'm going to get personal and vulnerable: I said I think hijab is great, and I don't just mean that I think hijab is great for Muslim women. I truly, honestly loved every minute of wearing it. I have struggled lately with people's perception of me. I don't struggle with who I am or what I stand for, but rather when people misjudge me or talk down to me because I am different from what is expected in society - that I am introverted or don't drink, as examples - I internally respond negatively to those people (which I know is the wrong attitude). When I was wearing hijab, however, I did not feel those same perceptions. To put it another way, when I wore hijab, I was perceived in the way that I wish to be perceived. I felt respected. I felt like I did not have to explain who I am. Head coverings are not just a Muslim expression, and I think it's important to consider that. I felt protected wearing hijab. I did not receive any catcalls from men in cars, as is wont to happen on the east side of town. No one was rude to me, as sometimes inexplicably happens on the bus. Instead, children smiled and waved at me. Adults gave me the sweetest, most touching looks, and I felt tenderness emanating from them. I feel that I radiated a positive attitude and a sense of peace. The world would be a better place if that persisted everywhere, would it not?

Even though I didn't fast today, I wore a loose scarf over my head to the grocery store. Note: Hijab is different from just tying a scarf; Hijab covers the hair and hides the neck, which I felt was bothersome and restrictive. Plus, you have to pin it, which is just a pain. So what I wore today showed my hairline and was very loose and drape-y around my neck. Anyhow. I think that covering my head is an expression of who I am. Some people have unique hairstyles or wear bright colors or have painted nails or a tattoo or piercings or a particular style of dress or a certain car or house... the list could go on. Wearing a head covering has nothing to do with religion. People wear hats and headbands, or artistically tie scarves on their heads all the time. I have never felt more myself than when covering my head.

And I'm not sure what to do about that.