A relaxing iftar

Last night I went to my friend's apartment for the evening sunset meal (iftar) for Ramadan. She is an American Muslim and is engaged to a Palestinian man. Their two mutual friends were there - another Palestinian guy and an American Catholic who is fasting with his friends for the entire month.

My friend had spent all day cooking: A baked whole chicken, roasted lamb with chickpeas, russet potatoes, green beans, basmati rice, watermelon, and a wonderful spinach salad. I brought some mocha brownies and ice cream for dessert, and there was also turtle cheesecake, almond cake, and white chocolate mocha trifle. Wow. I tried to rationalize my gluttony with, "I haven't eaten ALL DAY...!" Ha.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. We initially broke the fast at exactly 8:33 with dates and water. The evening was much more relaxed than the previous night at the mosque. In fact, after the dates and water we immediately filled our plates with the meal and didn't pray until the very last minute. I think we were actually a little late...

(There is a start time for each of the five prayers, and you have until the next prayer time to do that prayer. So 8:33 p.m. is when you can start the sundown prayer, and you have until around 10:00 p.m. to complete that prayer. At about 10:00 is another prayer, so you have until the next morning around 5:00 a.m. to do that one. Make sense?)

After the meal we talked, watched parts of movies and got seconds of dessert. Since my friend and I were the only women, I felt a little awkward hanging out with just the guys, so I convinced my friend to let me help her clean up!

She and I did the sundown prayer in her room together, and then the guys (except the Catholic) did theirs alone in her study room. Then, since we had run up into the 10:00 p.m. one, we all did that one together in the same room.

After the prayer we had some homemade spiced chai and talked until after midnight. The conversation was about what is and is not haram, or impermissible, in Islam. It was more of a philosophical debate, and it was very interesting. Some topics included dating and marrying non-Muslims and whether it matters whether it's a male or female who is the Muslim and whether smoking cigarettes and/or smoking hookah are okay (conclusion: Okay! We used the hookah pipe last night, haha!). Then the conversation moved to the subject of jin which are a separate creation from humans but are not demons - this topic got really creepy, and we merged it with stories about scary dreams we've had, and shadow people, yikes! We also talked about evolution, including mutations, adaptations, micro-evolution, and Judeo-Christian vs. Muslim beliefs on the subject. Whew!

Another reason I felt the iftar was really relaxed is because my friend wore a loose hijab. When women are with family and close friends, they don't have to be as strict as in public. She had a thin scarf draped over her head without pinning it, and it flowed beautifully around her face. I still kept mine pinned closely because I didn't want to mess with it, take out the pins, etc. Plus, I really didn't know these people that well. Honestly, I was not concerned with my appearance!

It was great to just hang out with young Muslims from all different backgrounds. I understand much better what it's like for them to be in America and to be misunderstood. When my friend hears someone say something awful like, "Muslims just need to go back to where they came from!" she can only laugh it off because she is FROM here. And the Palestinians? "If we had somewhere to go, we would be there."

Muslims are people just like you and me. They come from all different backgrounds. Even devout Muslims who pray five times per day and fast during the month of Ramadan live normal lives, hanging out with friends, watching movies, doing hookah, eating way too much dessert...

I'm glad I got to participate in both a proper iftar at the mosque, and a casual iftar at my friend's place. As for my two days of fasting, it really wasn't that big of a challenge, although it was fabulous to wake up this morning at a normal hour for breakfast :)