The only time I've cried since coming to Lanzhou was when I was sick in March. And these were only a few tears when I was on the phone with my mom.
Since then I haven't even felt like crying. Until Friday.
My friend Mac and I climbed the highest mountain in Lanzhou. I looked out over the city and tried to find landmarks. For a while, I couldn't recognize very much. Then I found my university.
I saw the main gate, the building where I have class, the park in the center of campus, the library, the track where I run, and finally, my beloved Zhuan Jia Lou where I live. I was so high up that I could barely make out these structures, but I was sure this was what I was looking at.
I felt so small. Looking down on the entire city of 5 million people, stretched before me like a map, where I could hardly recognize the places that are so familiar to me, it finally hit me how awesome it is that I'm in China. I'm out in the middle of no where, in a small city nestled between two huge mountain ranges. There is nothing for miles around Lanzhou. I finally thought about the fact that I'm so far from home and that I have been here for three whole months- but this is only half-way.
I wanted to cry.
I think these tears are built up inside from being tired of being strong. It's hard to be so strong for such a long time.
I have to be strong every day, but it's just part of being here. Lately, though, I've had to be stronger than ever, and it's wearing me out.
It's easy to be strong for myself. But to be strong for other people is hard. I have to be strong for the other Muskies here and I have to be strong for my roommate Aidana. When my roommate is scared of another earthquake, when she wants to sleep outside or push our beds together so we're nearer, it's hard to stay strong. When she hugs me and won't let go, when tears stream down her face, I have to be strong and let her know that everything will be ok.
But standing on the top of the mountain looking down on Lanzhou, I didn't cry. I wanted to, but I couldn't.
Maybe when I can bring myself to cry, it will be out of true strength.
25 May 2008
Muskies in China
On Saturday, eight students from my college came to Lanzhou University. I made them a sign that says "Welcome, Muskies" and I even drew a picture of a Muskie, our school mascot. So cheesy, I know.
Even though I didn't know most of the students before they came, we have so much in common and I feel like I know them already.
It's fun to show them around the city and just hang out. We've been staying up much later than is necessary... what's new? And they're really psyched that a bottle of beer costs about 30 U.S. cents.
A Muskie is a fish and can drink like one, too.
Even though I didn't know most of the students before they came, we have so much in common and I feel like I know them already.
It's fun to show them around the city and just hang out. We've been staying up much later than is necessary... what's new? And they're really psyched that a bottle of beer costs about 30 U.S. cents.
A Muskie is a fish and can drink like one, too.
Earthquake Part III
When I turn on the television or listen to the radio, everything is about the earthquake. All around Lanzhou there are signs, billboards, posters, banners, etc. all having to do with Si Chuan.
There are pictures of bodies. There is video of small children screaming for their mothers. There are pictures of children's drawings saying "I miss my family" underneath. And of course, there are pictures and video of the destroyed buildings.
It's almost like propaganda, and I can't figure it out. Who is behind it all? Why are they inciting fear? Who is benefiting from this?
All of the Chinese people here at the university are scared. They sleep by the hundreds in tents on the field of the stadium, the only place relatively safe if buildings were to fall.
The people say that "the earthquake is moving closer to Lanzhou" and that "the aftershocks are coming sometime tonight," etc.
They won't listen to reason, and every day the panic seems to grow.
Last week there were three days of mourning. It was eerie. China is always loud and busy and crazy and fun. For three days it was quiet and scary.
I wonder if people will resume their normal lives any time soon. What if they're afraid of another earthquake all summer? I can't imagine living in fear like they are.
There are pictures of bodies. There is video of small children screaming for their mothers. There are pictures of children's drawings saying "I miss my family" underneath. And of course, there are pictures and video of the destroyed buildings.
It's almost like propaganda, and I can't figure it out. Who is behind it all? Why are they inciting fear? Who is benefiting from this?
All of the Chinese people here at the university are scared. They sleep by the hundreds in tents on the field of the stadium, the only place relatively safe if buildings were to fall.
The people say that "the earthquake is moving closer to Lanzhou" and that "the aftershocks are coming sometime tonight," etc.
They won't listen to reason, and every day the panic seems to grow.
Last week there were three days of mourning. It was eerie. China is always loud and busy and crazy and fun. For three days it was quiet and scary.
I wonder if people will resume their normal lives any time soon. What if they're afraid of another earthquake all summer? I can't imagine living in fear like they are.
16 May 2008
Earthquake Part II
As I was trying to fall asleep the other night, I noticed a massive crack in my ceiling. It runs the whole way across the room and is definitely fresh...
13 May 2008
The Earthquake
Yesterday there was a major earthquake just south of where I live in China. I am going to give my personal account of what I experienced without attempting to compete with the news reports that are being updated hourly.
On Monday afternoons I tutor a Korean friend because he wants to improve his English. Usually we meet at 3:00, but yesterday he had an appointment so we met at 2:30. We study in a classroom on the second floor of Zhuan Jia Lou, the building where I live.
We were studying negative prefixes for adjectives. I would read the words and he would repeat them. As I was reading "impatient... dishonest... incorrect..." I began to feel extremely dizzy. I ignored it.
Then my friend, instead of repeating the words, gave me a funny look. I scanned the room and realized the whole building was moving. That's when I knew it was an earthquake.
At this point, the vibrations were strongest. The desks we were sitting at undulated as if they were ocean waves. We could feel the building sway.
We had to decide whether to immediately take cover or to go outside. The vibrations became calmer and we quickly walked outside. Some other students and all of the workers at Zhuan Jia Lou were outside as well.
After a few minutes we went back inside because there was nothing we could do. My friend and I continued our lesson: "unusual... abnormal... unforgettable."
On Monday afternoons I tutor a Korean friend because he wants to improve his English. Usually we meet at 3:00, but yesterday he had an appointment so we met at 2:30. We study in a classroom on the second floor of Zhuan Jia Lou, the building where I live.
We were studying negative prefixes for adjectives. I would read the words and he would repeat them. As I was reading "impatient... dishonest... incorrect..." I began to feel extremely dizzy. I ignored it.
Then my friend, instead of repeating the words, gave me a funny look. I scanned the room and realized the whole building was moving. That's when I knew it was an earthquake.
At this point, the vibrations were strongest. The desks we were sitting at undulated as if they were ocean waves. We could feel the building sway.
We had to decide whether to immediately take cover or to go outside. The vibrations became calmer and we quickly walked outside. Some other students and all of the workers at Zhuan Jia Lou were outside as well.
After a few minutes we went back inside because there was nothing we could do. My friend and I continued our lesson: "unusual... abnormal... unforgettable."
05 May 2008
Thank You!
When I got back from traveling to Dunhuang and Hami, I got a package from my family and a ton of letters from friends back home- thanks, guys. It's great to hear from you and it means so much to me that you would take the time to write to me!
Hami
During our holiday that began last Tuesday, my friends and I traveled to Dunhuang. By Friday, we had seen everything we had wanted to in Dunhuang, so we pulled out a map of China. We decided to travel even further north into Xin Jiang Province to the small city of Hami. We took a bus for six hours from Dunhuang and arrived in Hami at nine in the evening. Because all of China is on Beijing time and Hami is quite west, it was light out until about ten.
When we first got to Hami, my friends and I got a hotel room. We left our backpacks there and went out for dinner. At dinner, we met a young Xin Jiang girl and ended up talking with her until about one in the morning. We walked back to our hotel room to find that they were kicking us out because we're not Chinese!
I was so angry because I didn't think it was fair. We had paid for a room and were given a receipt, and now they were putting us out onto the street at 1:30. I yelled at one of the workers in Chinese. Really. I said that in America, there are tons of Chinese people and they can stay at any hotel they want. I told her that she's a person, I'm a person, everyone is a person; we're all the same. How inhumane of her to put us out onto the street! (Ok, so I don't know the Chinese word for "inhumane," but I think she got the idea.)
To be fair, it wasn't a personal dislike that these people at the hotel had with us- they wanted us to stay but they didn't have the right paperwork, apparently. It was an issue with the Chinese government and the hotel not having the right paperwork to house foreigners, but it makes me wonder what would lead a government to discriminate in this way. And anyway, they let us have a room and we paid for it, so how can they take it away?
So there we were, on the streets of a strange city at two in the morning. We were tired, frustrated, offended, upset, and more. Luckily we found another place to stay, but it cost twice as much.
We slept in the next day and got over our outrage at the previous night. We met up with our Xin Jiang friend and spent the day learning from her about the culture and language of the Xin Jiang people. We also learned a lot about the interactions between the Xin Jiang people and the Han Chinese. She showed us around Hami. We visited several parks, rode some rides, ate Xin Jiang food, and took too many pictures.
Our train left at nine that night, and we had to say goodbye to our friend. It was a strange feeling. I doubt if we'll ever meet again. She was so kind and sweet and beautiful, and we really got to know her throughout the day. Because of her, my memories of Hami will be of the fun times we had that day, and I won't think about what we experienced the night before.
Dunhuang
Last week I did not have class on Thursday or Friday because of a holiday in China similar to Labor Day. For some reason, the school decided that Friday's classes would be rescheduled for Sunday. They can't do that, can they? Haha...
So my friends and I also took Wednesday off (as well as Sunday- who goes to class on Sunday?) to travel to the north of Gansu Province to the city of Dunhuang.
We took a sleeper-train on Tuesday night and arrived in Dunhuang on Wednesday morning. Dunhuang is a tourist city, which we're not used to. Luckily, it was the off season. The busy season started the next day, though. We saw some Buddhist caves as well as sections of the Great Wall.
The part of the Great Wall that we saw had not been reconstructed, which seems miraculous since everything else in China has been. We saw one pass of the wall which was pretty much a square boulder with a hole in it. There was a fence around it, so it wasn't that exciting. The second part of the wall we saw was made with mud, rocks, and hay. Because of the wind in the desert, some parts were only a few feet high. Most of the wall here was surrounded by a fence, but a small portion was not. It still wasn't that exciting, but how could I visit China without seeing part of the original Great Wall?
Thursday afternoon we rode camels out into the Gobi Desert and camped out in tents for the night. (Camels really do spit, and they smell bad, too.) The sand dunes were huge. We picked the highest one and climbed to the top. It took several hours and was extremely difficult because the sand was so soft. We climbed up peak after peak, gradually getting to the highest one. It was difficult to breathe at the top, but when we got there, we watched the "sunset."
That's in quotation marks because in some parts of China, it's not damaging to the eyes to stare directly at the sun. It looks like a bright, full moon, actually. As for the sunset, the sun disappeared in the polluted sky well above the horizon.
There are no words to aptly describe the Gobi Desert. It's how you might imagine it, though. Sandy, dry, few living creatures, etc. It's hot during the day and cold at night. In fact, when my friends and I climbed the sand dunes, we climbed along the ridges. One half of our bodies were hot from the sun, and the other half was cold. Some parts of the desert stretch for miles in complete flatness. Other parts, near the edges, are miles of sand dunes.
So we left Dunhuang on Friday tired and sore as well as sun burnt, sand burnt, and wind burnt. But it was definitely worth it.
So my friends and I also took Wednesday off (as well as Sunday- who goes to class on Sunday?) to travel to the north of Gansu Province to the city of Dunhuang.
We took a sleeper-train on Tuesday night and arrived in Dunhuang on Wednesday morning. Dunhuang is a tourist city, which we're not used to. Luckily, it was the off season. The busy season started the next day, though. We saw some Buddhist caves as well as sections of the Great Wall.
The part of the Great Wall that we saw had not been reconstructed, which seems miraculous since everything else in China has been. We saw one pass of the wall which was pretty much a square boulder with a hole in it. There was a fence around it, so it wasn't that exciting. The second part of the wall we saw was made with mud, rocks, and hay. Because of the wind in the desert, some parts were only a few feet high. Most of the wall here was surrounded by a fence, but a small portion was not. It still wasn't that exciting, but how could I visit China without seeing part of the original Great Wall?
Thursday afternoon we rode camels out into the Gobi Desert and camped out in tents for the night. (Camels really do spit, and they smell bad, too.) The sand dunes were huge. We picked the highest one and climbed to the top. It took several hours and was extremely difficult because the sand was so soft. We climbed up peak after peak, gradually getting to the highest one. It was difficult to breathe at the top, but when we got there, we watched the "sunset."
That's in quotation marks because in some parts of China, it's not damaging to the eyes to stare directly at the sun. It looks like a bright, full moon, actually. As for the sunset, the sun disappeared in the polluted sky well above the horizon.
There are no words to aptly describe the Gobi Desert. It's how you might imagine it, though. Sandy, dry, few living creatures, etc. It's hot during the day and cold at night. In fact, when my friends and I climbed the sand dunes, we climbed along the ridges. One half of our bodies were hot from the sun, and the other half was cold. Some parts of the desert stretch for miles in complete flatness. Other parts, near the edges, are miles of sand dunes.
So we left Dunhuang on Friday tired and sore as well as sun burnt, sand burnt, and wind burnt. But it was definitely worth it.
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