Say what? That's right, there is a common Chinese word for a concept we Americans never really talk about in the same way. My Chinese-English dictionary translates Xiao4 孝 as "filial piety," but you might want to check your English-English dictionary on that one (link provided, you're welcome).
The New York Times has an article about the Chinese government proposing legislation to enforce this concept of xiao 孝, or familial duty. In effect, the legislation would accept lawsuits filed against adult children who cause their parents to feel forgotten.
I'm not even going to discuss the collapse of social security and how it might be a good idea for the younger generation to take care of their elderly parents... Instead, let's talk about this in different terms: human rights.
Which country is having human rights issues? Can we talk about the neglect of American elderly for just a moment, please?
For work this fall I attended a Judicial College Summit on Aging seminar that served to teach and prepare members of the Ohio judiciary about the aging population and its affect on courts, laws, etc. I was emotionally scarred by a graphic video about a 93-year-old Ohio woman who was raped by her 40-year-old grandson. He also regularly verbally abused her and stole her money, but those horrific actions almost don't seem worth mentioning in comparison.
In the Times article, the international director of the Gerontological Society of China is quoted as calling the proposed Chinese legislation a "really nice move." First of all, I'm wondering if that was awkwardly translated from Chinese, but more importantly, I agree with the director. Maybe it's not the government's role to step in in this way, but it's still an awesome idea.
Since spending time in China, I definitely feel more of a duty to my parents.
I have a friend from Beijing whose parents have given up everything for her, for her education, and for her future. My friend has studied in the U.S., in Canada, and is again abroad for grad school. Two years ago I asked her how it makes her feel that her parents do so much for her.
"I feel really indebted to them. I feel like I don't deserve it. But then I remember that I'm their only child, and I have a chance to give back to them. They have worked so hard for me, and one day I will have a great job so that I can take care of them when they are old. It's a give-and-take, and right now it's take."
In Central Asia, it's the duty of the youngest son to live with his parents for the rest of his life. So when he gets married, the youngest son and his wife live with the parents and grandparents in one huge, happy family. That's the way it's supposed to be, I think (not necessarily the part about it having to be the youngest son...).
As an adult, I have a better perspective on how much my parents did and do for me. But seeing xiao 孝 lived out in Asia has shown me how to respond to those feelings of appreciation. It doesn't count if you don't act on it. Saying "thank you" doesn't really mean that much.
Besides feeding me, clothing me, and giving me a private school education, besides putting up with my bratty teenage years, they taught me the most important thing: how to learn. I remember my mom teaching me to read before I was three years old. I remember my dad explaining the concepts of addition and subtraction to me before I went to Kindergarten. Going to the doctor was a biology lesson, and dominating the summer reading program at the library was the best part of summer.
So, while there is no law that I have to take care of them when they are old, my parents can count on that happening. So, mom and dad, please don't be mad if I spend the years in between living abroad...
30 January 2011
29 January 2011
Brain Activity
Previously, I wrote about realizing that almost everything in my life now is tied to what my life was like in China.
Both times I returned from China, what hit me the most stepping off the plane was how little my brain had to work. All the signs were in English. All the conversation was in English. I could understand everything going on around me with only the smallest amount of brain activity.
It was mind-numbing, really. So what did I do to cope? My mindset became that if I’m not learning something, I’m wasting my time.
I notice this in getting caught up with small projects I have at work. I recently edited a program that was done in Russian with an English translator on the set. I had to piece it all together, with a cut every 10 seconds or so. I got this project because no one else in the world wanted to touch it. The host of the program even considered it a lost cause. But I eagerly threw myself into editing it - even studying some Russian at home, and I learned a lot of Russian in the process (mostly things like “for example,” “in the whole world,” and “first of all,” but you have to start somewhere!).
As for outside of work, I don’t even know where to begin. I read continuously. My current projects are learning about economics and the histories of both world wars. I’m not trying to be an expert; I just don’t want to be an idiot.
I mentioned in one of my media posts that I don’t listen to music. That’s a lie! When I’m not listening to NPR, I’m listening to Chinese music. Musically, most of it is horrible stuff. But it’s good for my Chinese. I feel like I’m living in an ABC (American-Born Chinese) household: English in public, Chinese at home. I force myself to think and sometimes write in Chinese. It’s becoming more of a challenge since I haven’t been immersed in so long.
I just miss the learning environment I had in China. As I explained before, my mind was inundated with new information to process all the time. And the Chinese language itself – who could ever learn all the characters and completely master it? Even native Chinese with college degrees don’t know every character. And then there are the traditional characters, ancient characters, and dialects. The dream world of someone who loves to learn, right?
Both times I returned from China, what hit me the most stepping off the plane was how little my brain had to work. All the signs were in English. All the conversation was in English. I could understand everything going on around me with only the smallest amount of brain activity.
It was mind-numbing, really. So what did I do to cope? My mindset became that if I’m not learning something, I’m wasting my time.
I notice this in getting caught up with small projects I have at work. I recently edited a program that was done in Russian with an English translator on the set. I had to piece it all together, with a cut every 10 seconds or so. I got this project because no one else in the world wanted to touch it. The host of the program even considered it a lost cause. But I eagerly threw myself into editing it - even studying some Russian at home, and I learned a lot of Russian in the process (mostly things like “for example,” “in the whole world,” and “first of all,” but you have to start somewhere!).
As for outside of work, I don’t even know where to begin. I read continuously. My current projects are learning about economics and the histories of both world wars. I’m not trying to be an expert; I just don’t want to be an idiot.
I mentioned in one of my media posts that I don’t listen to music. That’s a lie! When I’m not listening to NPR, I’m listening to Chinese music. Musically, most of it is horrible stuff. But it’s good for my Chinese. I feel like I’m living in an ABC (American-Born Chinese) household: English in public, Chinese at home. I force myself to think and sometimes write in Chinese. It’s becoming more of a challenge since I haven’t been immersed in so long.
I just miss the learning environment I had in China. As I explained before, my mind was inundated with new information to process all the time. And the Chinese language itself – who could ever learn all the characters and completely master it? Even native Chinese with college degrees don’t know every character. And then there are the traditional characters, ancient characters, and dialects. The dream world of someone who loves to learn, right?
26 January 2011
Change of Pace
I got totally pumped about studying Chinese more after being introduced to “Feichang Fresh,” a group of international students in Beijing who produced some songs in Chinese. I feel like the guys in the group are totally genuine, yet their sense of humor about China is apparent in their music videos.
The video that made them “famous” (in China) is “A Beijing Love Song” about how awesome the city is. Don’t be fooled; they say things like “stoked” “put your hands up” and “drop the beat” in Chinese. Their second Chinese song, which they didn’t put English subtitles to, is “Shorty, Come Here,” and is about talking to a girl in a coffee shop.
I love that they are using a difficult, intimidating language in a cool, casual way. It really makes it seem more approachable to foreigners. I also love seeing the settings they use - typically Chinese places, like alleys, concrete walls with ads on them, weird exercise equipment in public locations, and rusty steamrollers.
Really, you should check out their videos.
The video that made them “famous” (in China) is “A Beijing Love Song” about how awesome the city is. Don’t be fooled; they say things like “stoked” “put your hands up” and “drop the beat” in Chinese. Their second Chinese song, which they didn’t put English subtitles to, is “Shorty, Come Here,” and is about talking to a girl in a coffee shop.
I love that they are using a difficult, intimidating language in a cool, casual way. It really makes it seem more approachable to foreigners. I also love seeing the settings they use - typically Chinese places, like alleys, concrete walls with ads on them, weird exercise equipment in public locations, and rusty steamrollers.
Really, you should check out their videos.
25 January 2011
The Medium is Not the Message (II)
I think I lost faith in America as I studied Chinese media. A common Chinese perspective is this: “We know about the media control in our country. It’s an organized, thought-out, and purposeful control that we can’t do much about. But in America, you all deny that control exists in any form, and you are blind to it, whatever it may be. Which is the scarier scenario?”
Obviously not knowing it’s there.
(Right?)
I’m not going to call out American media as being controlled by certain forces. It’s not really about media itself, but about how media affects and influences society and vice versa. It’s a cause-and-effect cycle that can’t end, except badly.
It’s not about the media, but about the message. (What is "the media," anyway?) It’s about the attitude that Americans have toward the rest of the world. How did we get like this?
My intent here is not to make a judgment, but to present thoughts and questions. What are your thoughts and questions?
Obviously not knowing it’s there.
(Right?)
I’m not going to call out American media as being controlled by certain forces. It’s not really about media itself, but about how media affects and influences society and vice versa. It’s a cause-and-effect cycle that can’t end, except badly.
It’s not about the media, but about the message. (What is "the media," anyway?) It’s about the attitude that Americans have toward the rest of the world. How did we get like this?
My intent here is not to make a judgment, but to present thoughts and questions. What are your thoughts and questions?
24 January 2011
The Medium is Not the Message (I)
One aspect of my life that changed since being in China is media consumption. Media reflects the society from which it comes, and in China the media is understandably different from that of western countries. I got used to that.
I don't have a TV, and I don't watch movies. I also don't listen to music. The only time I have internet at home is when my neighbors are kind (wink!). It may seem like I’m withdrawing from society, but I think the opposite has happened. I'm more aware of what's happening in the global community and less focused on my several hundred Facebook friends and their lives.
It's about the way you use media, right? So instead of limiting myself by always being online or inundating my mind with popular American culture, I think I'm freeing myself to learn about other things and to see the world from a different perspective.
What's the point? There are two things going on here. The first is that in China, I lived without these media as they existed in that country. And it wasn’t a big deal. Chinese TV was way too dramatic, and they spoke too fast, referencing historical and cultural references that I knew nothing about. My main internet usage was an online Chinese dictionary that I love.
The second aspect is that I was not only living without these Chinese media, I was also not using these English/American media. I didn’t have access to them, and even Facebook was usually blocked online. When I came back to the U.S., I wasn’t able to seamlessly jump back into the world of entertainment media, let alone all the conversations about the latest movies and music and TV shows. It was way too much work to go back and find out what I had missed, especially when I've never been all that into entertainment media, anyway.
And now I'm going to go read some Marshall McLuhan.
I don't have a TV, and I don't watch movies. I also don't listen to music. The only time I have internet at home is when my neighbors are kind (wink!). It may seem like I’m withdrawing from society, but I think the opposite has happened. I'm more aware of what's happening in the global community and less focused on my several hundred Facebook friends and their lives.
It's about the way you use media, right? So instead of limiting myself by always being online or inundating my mind with popular American culture, I think I'm freeing myself to learn about other things and to see the world from a different perspective.
What's the point? There are two things going on here. The first is that in China, I lived without these media as they existed in that country. And it wasn’t a big deal. Chinese TV was way too dramatic, and they spoke too fast, referencing historical and cultural references that I knew nothing about. My main internet usage was an online Chinese dictionary that I love.
The second aspect is that I was not only living without these Chinese media, I was also not using these English/American media. I didn’t have access to them, and even Facebook was usually blocked online. When I came back to the U.S., I wasn’t able to seamlessly jump back into the world of entertainment media, let alone all the conversations about the latest movies and music and TV shows. It was way too much work to go back and find out what I had missed, especially when I've never been all that into entertainment media, anyway.
And now I'm going to go read some Marshall McLuhan.
23 January 2011
My Life in the Mirror
I’m realizing more and more that the way I’m living my life now is a massive attempt to match what life was like for me in China. It’s not that I miss China necessarily; I miss what my life was like living there.
I miss being a stranger lost among a million faces, and I miss that my face stood out among them. (This winter, I’ve been often reminded of walking across the Lanzhou University campus, bundled up in a hat, scarf, hood, and mittens, with my face barely showing, and hearing students dozens of meters ahead of me commenting on the foreigner headed their way. How could they tell so quickly?)
Along the same lines, I miss the paradox of being completely and utterly alone in a city of 5 million people. I miss having my own tiny room in which to (try to) shut out the crazy, unrelenting sounds of the city. Most of all, though, I miss every single second of my existence being dedicated to some form of study and learning.
And so, without realizing it until recently, I’ve been making my American life mirror my international life as much as possible. It’s a yearning for something bigger, a desire to realize potential and purpose, and a crazy obsession with being economical and rational. At the same time, it’s an immensely fulfilling and happy quest.
I’m embracing it.
And I’m going to try to learn more about myself through blogging about it. Want to join?
I miss being a stranger lost among a million faces, and I miss that my face stood out among them. (This winter, I’ve been often reminded of walking across the Lanzhou University campus, bundled up in a hat, scarf, hood, and mittens, with my face barely showing, and hearing students dozens of meters ahead of me commenting on the foreigner headed their way. How could they tell so quickly?)
Along the same lines, I miss the paradox of being completely and utterly alone in a city of 5 million people. I miss having my own tiny room in which to (try to) shut out the crazy, unrelenting sounds of the city. Most of all, though, I miss every single second of my existence being dedicated to some form of study and learning.
And so, without realizing it until recently, I’ve been making my American life mirror my international life as much as possible. It’s a yearning for something bigger, a desire to realize potential and purpose, and a crazy obsession with being economical and rational. At the same time, it’s an immensely fulfilling and happy quest.
I’m embracing it.
And I’m going to try to learn more about myself through blogging about it. Want to join?
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