I got off the bus today and crossed the street to my apartment. An older woman with a cane was also crossing, slowly and feebly. As I raced past her on my able legs, I could hear her moaning. Her appearance and the intensity of that sound struck me, and in the dead center of the busy road, I grabbed her arm and said, "It will be okay."
What? It will be okay?
I don't know why I said that. The traffic waited for us to make it safely to the other side of the road, and there the lady whispered to me.
"I don't want to ask for help."
"What do you need?"
"I don't want to ask for help."
I said it again: "It will be okay."
Finally, she began to cry and told me she hadn't eaten for two days and she couldn't afford her diabetes medication.
"Do you have some change? I just want a burger."
A burger?
I usually (honestly) don't have change, but today I had $1.10. I gave it to her, and then I remembered exactly what it feels like to be hungry. Thank you, Ramadan.
I said to wait there at the bus stop, and I promised her I'd be back. Up in my apartment, I scavenged for food to give her. I felt like I didn't have anything appropriate. My food stores consist mainly of raw vegetables, couscous and quinoa, dry chickpeas, and dry granola.
I grabbed a brown lunch bag and threw in a can of corn, about a bowl's worth of cereal in a plastic bag, half of loaf of rye bread, some pretzels, an apple, and a banana. I really didn't know what else to give her.
It reminded me of that Bible verse that asks what type of father would give his son a snake when the son asked for a fish. I don't know exactly what Jesus was getting at there.
But what I'm getting at is that I'm not sure if I would have helped her if the memory of being hungry had not been so fresh in my mind. Maybe if this had been last week, I would have only given her my change and insisted that it would be okay...
16 August 2011
14 August 2011
Ramadan Wrap Up
Maybe. Maybe it's a wrap up. I just have a lot I could write about, so this "wrap up" might come in installments. We'll see :)
Overall, my experience was wonderful. There wasn't anything that I didn't like about my observance of Ramadan, but there are aspects that I can be critical of.
I love how the focus during Ramadan is on family and friends. The iftar meal each night is a chance for different families to host and be guests of each other. It's really a community celebration, even - and especially - when not done at the mosque. Side note here: I had briefly thought about continuing my experience, but it is truly pointless to observe on one's own. Fasting all day only to eat some cereal by myself at 8:33 at night does not make any sense. The point, again, is community.
I also appreciate the true focus on what Islam means, both globally and to Muslims personally. Contrary to how I perceive that Christian holidays have slowly lost meaning over time, what I saw of Ramadan leads me to believe that it is solely about the religion and the Muslim community. There's no way around it. Muslims are supposed to read the entire Quran during the month, and long sections are read out loud at the mosque each night. No one misses prayers during Ramadan. It's not okay to skip them during this month. There's no room for half-heartedness. And the fact that the strict observance lasts for 30 days solidifies commitment to the religion. It's would be a different matter if it only lasted a week or so. I should also mention charitable giving and helping those in need - part of the reason for fasting, my friend said, is to know what it is like to be hungry and to have true empathy for the poor - and then to do something about it.
My critique of all of this is what I perceive as legalism. I kept thinking things like, "How cruel is it to forbid drinking water! You can't even miss one prayer? Why is it necessary to wake up at 5 a.m. and not simply eat breakfast when you wake up and fast the rest of the day? Why are there so many rules?!?!?" The answer to these questions, though, is that the strict observance keeps Islam true to its roots. My Muslim friends stress that above everything else. The reason for all of the rules and stipulations and strictness is so that Islam does not drastically change over time. (And that is something that I personally struggle with in regard to Christianity - that I believe it has changed into something that was not originally intended.)
And now for a discussion of women and hijab. I think hijab is great. It's not mandatory to wear it. Each woman makes the decision for herself. (Obviously, some countries and cultures have their own rules, but I'm speaking generally.) Some women never "veil." Women who do wear hijab are taught not to look down on those who do not. My friend said to me, in reference to a multitude of subjects like showing feet during prayer and how to place your hands, that each Muslim has his or her own view of what is right or wrong in regard to the smaller details of the religion, and it is what is in the heart that matters. So a woman who does not wear hijab may be a "better" Muslim in her heart than a woman who wears hijab and thinks herself better than others.
And now I'm going to get personal and vulnerable: I said I think hijab is great, and I don't just mean that I think hijab is great for Muslim women. I truly, honestly loved every minute of wearing it. I have struggled lately with people's perception of me. I don't struggle with who I am or what I stand for, but rather when people misjudge me or talk down to me because I am different from what is expected in society - that I am introverted or don't drink, as examples - I internally respond negatively to those people (which I know is the wrong attitude). When I was wearing hijab, however, I did not feel those same perceptions. To put it another way, when I wore hijab, I was perceived in the way that I wish to be perceived. I felt respected. I felt like I did not have to explain who I am. Head coverings are not just a Muslim expression, and I think it's important to consider that. I felt protected wearing hijab. I did not receive any catcalls from men in cars, as is wont to happen on the east side of town. No one was rude to me, as sometimes inexplicably happens on the bus. Instead, children smiled and waved at me. Adults gave me the sweetest, most touching looks, and I felt tenderness emanating from them. I feel that I radiated a positive attitude and a sense of peace. The world would be a better place if that persisted everywhere, would it not?
Even though I didn't fast today, I wore a loose scarf over my head to the grocery store. Note: Hijab is different from just tying a scarf; Hijab covers the hair and hides the neck, which I felt was bothersome and restrictive. Plus, you have to pin it, which is just a pain. So what I wore today showed my hairline and was very loose and drape-y around my neck. Anyhow. I think that covering my head is an expression of who I am. Some people have unique hairstyles or wear bright colors or have painted nails or a tattoo or piercings or a particular style of dress or a certain car or house... the list could go on. Wearing a head covering has nothing to do with religion. People wear hats and headbands, or artistically tie scarves on their heads all the time. I have never felt more myself than when covering my head.
And I'm not sure what to do about that.
Overall, my experience was wonderful. There wasn't anything that I didn't like about my observance of Ramadan, but there are aspects that I can be critical of.
I love how the focus during Ramadan is on family and friends. The iftar meal each night is a chance for different families to host and be guests of each other. It's really a community celebration, even - and especially - when not done at the mosque. Side note here: I had briefly thought about continuing my experience, but it is truly pointless to observe on one's own. Fasting all day only to eat some cereal by myself at 8:33 at night does not make any sense. The point, again, is community.
I also appreciate the true focus on what Islam means, both globally and to Muslims personally. Contrary to how I perceive that Christian holidays have slowly lost meaning over time, what I saw of Ramadan leads me to believe that it is solely about the religion and the Muslim community. There's no way around it. Muslims are supposed to read the entire Quran during the month, and long sections are read out loud at the mosque each night. No one misses prayers during Ramadan. It's not okay to skip them during this month. There's no room for half-heartedness. And the fact that the strict observance lasts for 30 days solidifies commitment to the religion. It's would be a different matter if it only lasted a week or so. I should also mention charitable giving and helping those in need - part of the reason for fasting, my friend said, is to know what it is like to be hungry and to have true empathy for the poor - and then to do something about it.
My critique of all of this is what I perceive as legalism. I kept thinking things like, "How cruel is it to forbid drinking water! You can't even miss one prayer? Why is it necessary to wake up at 5 a.m. and not simply eat breakfast when you wake up and fast the rest of the day? Why are there so many rules?!?!?" The answer to these questions, though, is that the strict observance keeps Islam true to its roots. My Muslim friends stress that above everything else. The reason for all of the rules and stipulations and strictness is so that Islam does not drastically change over time. (And that is something that I personally struggle with in regard to Christianity - that I believe it has changed into something that was not originally intended.)
And now for a discussion of women and hijab. I think hijab is great. It's not mandatory to wear it. Each woman makes the decision for herself. (Obviously, some countries and cultures have their own rules, but I'm speaking generally.) Some women never "veil." Women who do wear hijab are taught not to look down on those who do not. My friend said to me, in reference to a multitude of subjects like showing feet during prayer and how to place your hands, that each Muslim has his or her own view of what is right or wrong in regard to the smaller details of the religion, and it is what is in the heart that matters. So a woman who does not wear hijab may be a "better" Muslim in her heart than a woman who wears hijab and thinks herself better than others.
And now I'm going to get personal and vulnerable: I said I think hijab is great, and I don't just mean that I think hijab is great for Muslim women. I truly, honestly loved every minute of wearing it. I have struggled lately with people's perception of me. I don't struggle with who I am or what I stand for, but rather when people misjudge me or talk down to me because I am different from what is expected in society - that I am introverted or don't drink, as examples - I internally respond negatively to those people (which I know is the wrong attitude). When I was wearing hijab, however, I did not feel those same perceptions. To put it another way, when I wore hijab, I was perceived in the way that I wish to be perceived. I felt respected. I felt like I did not have to explain who I am. Head coverings are not just a Muslim expression, and I think it's important to consider that. I felt protected wearing hijab. I did not receive any catcalls from men in cars, as is wont to happen on the east side of town. No one was rude to me, as sometimes inexplicably happens on the bus. Instead, children smiled and waved at me. Adults gave me the sweetest, most touching looks, and I felt tenderness emanating from them. I feel that I radiated a positive attitude and a sense of peace. The world would be a better place if that persisted everywhere, would it not?
Even though I didn't fast today, I wore a loose scarf over my head to the grocery store. Note: Hijab is different from just tying a scarf; Hijab covers the hair and hides the neck, which I felt was bothersome and restrictive. Plus, you have to pin it, which is just a pain. So what I wore today showed my hairline and was very loose and drape-y around my neck. Anyhow. I think that covering my head is an expression of who I am. Some people have unique hairstyles or wear bright colors or have painted nails or a tattoo or piercings or a particular style of dress or a certain car or house... the list could go on. Wearing a head covering has nothing to do with religion. People wear hats and headbands, or artistically tie scarves on their heads all the time. I have never felt more myself than when covering my head.
And I'm not sure what to do about that.
A relaxing iftar
Last night I went to my friend's apartment for the evening sunset meal (iftar) for Ramadan. She is an American Muslim and is engaged to a Palestinian man. Their two mutual friends were there - another Palestinian guy and an American Catholic who is fasting with his friends for the entire month.
My friend had spent all day cooking: A baked whole chicken, roasted lamb with chickpeas, russet potatoes, green beans, basmati rice, watermelon, and a wonderful spinach salad. I brought some mocha brownies and ice cream for dessert, and there was also turtle cheesecake, almond cake, and white chocolate mocha trifle. Wow. I tried to rationalize my gluttony with, "I haven't eaten ALL DAY...!" Ha.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. We initially broke the fast at exactly 8:33 with dates and water. The evening was much more relaxed than the previous night at the mosque. In fact, after the dates and water we immediately filled our plates with the meal and didn't pray until the very last minute. I think we were actually a little late...
(There is a start time for each of the five prayers, and you have until the next prayer time to do that prayer. So 8:33 p.m. is when you can start the sundown prayer, and you have until around 10:00 p.m. to complete that prayer. At about 10:00 is another prayer, so you have until the next morning around 5:00 a.m. to do that one. Make sense?)
After the meal we talked, watched parts of movies and got seconds of dessert. Since my friend and I were the only women, I felt a little awkward hanging out with just the guys, so I convinced my friend to let me help her clean up!
She and I did the sundown prayer in her room together, and then the guys (except the Catholic) did theirs alone in her study room. Then, since we had run up into the 10:00 p.m. one, we all did that one together in the same room.
After the prayer we had some homemade spiced chai and talked until after midnight. The conversation was about what is and is not haram, or impermissible, in Islam. It was more of a philosophical debate, and it was very interesting. Some topics included dating and marrying non-Muslims and whether it matters whether it's a male or female who is the Muslim and whether smoking cigarettes and/or smoking hookah are okay (conclusion: Okay! We used the hookah pipe last night, haha!). Then the conversation moved to the subject of jin which are a separate creation from humans but are not demons - this topic got really creepy, and we merged it with stories about scary dreams we've had, and shadow people, yikes! We also talked about evolution, including mutations, adaptations, micro-evolution, and Judeo-Christian vs. Muslim beliefs on the subject. Whew!
Another reason I felt the iftar was really relaxed is because my friend wore a loose hijab. When women are with family and close friends, they don't have to be as strict as in public. She had a thin scarf draped over her head without pinning it, and it flowed beautifully around her face. I still kept mine pinned closely because I didn't want to mess with it, take out the pins, etc. Plus, I really didn't know these people that well. Honestly, I was not concerned with my appearance!
It was great to just hang out with young Muslims from all different backgrounds. I understand much better what it's like for them to be in America and to be misunderstood. When my friend hears someone say something awful like, "Muslims just need to go back to where they came from!" she can only laugh it off because she is FROM here. And the Palestinians? "If we had somewhere to go, we would be there."
Muslims are people just like you and me. They come from all different backgrounds. Even devout Muslims who pray five times per day and fast during the month of Ramadan live normal lives, hanging out with friends, watching movies, doing hookah, eating way too much dessert...
I'm glad I got to participate in both a proper iftar at the mosque, and a casual iftar at my friend's place. As for my two days of fasting, it really wasn't that big of a challenge, although it was fabulous to wake up this morning at a normal hour for breakfast :)
My friend had spent all day cooking: A baked whole chicken, roasted lamb with chickpeas, russet potatoes, green beans, basmati rice, watermelon, and a wonderful spinach salad. I brought some mocha brownies and ice cream for dessert, and there was also turtle cheesecake, almond cake, and white chocolate mocha trifle. Wow. I tried to rationalize my gluttony with, "I haven't eaten ALL DAY...!" Ha.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. We initially broke the fast at exactly 8:33 with dates and water. The evening was much more relaxed than the previous night at the mosque. In fact, after the dates and water we immediately filled our plates with the meal and didn't pray until the very last minute. I think we were actually a little late...
(There is a start time for each of the five prayers, and you have until the next prayer time to do that prayer. So 8:33 p.m. is when you can start the sundown prayer, and you have until around 10:00 p.m. to complete that prayer. At about 10:00 is another prayer, so you have until the next morning around 5:00 a.m. to do that one. Make sense?)
After the meal we talked, watched parts of movies and got seconds of dessert. Since my friend and I were the only women, I felt a little awkward hanging out with just the guys, so I convinced my friend to let me help her clean up!
She and I did the sundown prayer in her room together, and then the guys (except the Catholic) did theirs alone in her study room. Then, since we had run up into the 10:00 p.m. one, we all did that one together in the same room.
After the prayer we had some homemade spiced chai and talked until after midnight. The conversation was about what is and is not haram, or impermissible, in Islam. It was more of a philosophical debate, and it was very interesting. Some topics included dating and marrying non-Muslims and whether it matters whether it's a male or female who is the Muslim and whether smoking cigarettes and/or smoking hookah are okay (conclusion: Okay! We used the hookah pipe last night, haha!). Then the conversation moved to the subject of jin which are a separate creation from humans but are not demons - this topic got really creepy, and we merged it with stories about scary dreams we've had, and shadow people, yikes! We also talked about evolution, including mutations, adaptations, micro-evolution, and Judeo-Christian vs. Muslim beliefs on the subject. Whew!
Another reason I felt the iftar was really relaxed is because my friend wore a loose hijab. When women are with family and close friends, they don't have to be as strict as in public. She had a thin scarf draped over her head without pinning it, and it flowed beautifully around her face. I still kept mine pinned closely because I didn't want to mess with it, take out the pins, etc. Plus, I really didn't know these people that well. Honestly, I was not concerned with my appearance!
It was great to just hang out with young Muslims from all different backgrounds. I understand much better what it's like for them to be in America and to be misunderstood. When my friend hears someone say something awful like, "Muslims just need to go back to where they came from!" she can only laugh it off because she is FROM here. And the Palestinians? "If we had somewhere to go, we would be there."
Muslims are people just like you and me. They come from all different backgrounds. Even devout Muslims who pray five times per day and fast during the month of Ramadan live normal lives, hanging out with friends, watching movies, doing hookah, eating way too much dessert...
I'm glad I got to participate in both a proper iftar at the mosque, and a casual iftar at my friend's place. As for my two days of fasting, it really wasn't that big of a challenge, although it was fabulous to wake up this morning at a normal hour for breakfast :)
13 August 2011
Ramadan: Day Two (?!)
On Friday night, my friend and I broke the fast and feasted at the mosque. An important element of Ramadan, however, is to invite close friends to do the same in one's own home. My friend is hosting tomorrow night, and she invited me to celebrate with her again.
So, as I did yesterday, I woke up at 5:00 a.m. today for some oatmeal and then went back to sleep. I will continue fasting today and go to my friend's apartment this evening. She has invited her fiance and two or three other friends - one other besides myself is not a Muslim. I'm going to be bringing dessert, and I'm going to make mocha truffle brownies with caramel sauce. All I can think of is: How am I going to bake those without tasting them and licking the bowl? Haha :)
Actually, a second thought I'm having is: I'm going to get so much done today because I won't be spending time cooking and eating! To do list: Laundry, cleaning, reading...
So, as I did yesterday, I woke up at 5:00 a.m. today for some oatmeal and then went back to sleep. I will continue fasting today and go to my friend's apartment this evening. She has invited her fiance and two or three other friends - one other besides myself is not a Muslim. I'm going to be bringing dessert, and I'm going to make mocha truffle brownies with caramel sauce. All I can think of is: How am I going to bake those without tasting them and licking the bowl? Haha :)
Actually, a second thought I'm having is: I'm going to get so much done today because I won't be spending time cooking and eating! To do list: Laundry, cleaning, reading...
Breaking the fast
After work today, I came home, took off my pink-striped hijab, and changed into pajamas. I took a nap, and it was wonderful. My stomach had been hurting, I had had a headache, and I was tired. When I woke up two hours later, I changed into a bright blue scarf - a gift from my best friend from when she went to Israel. (Thanks, Chris!) I also put on a tunic-style shirt over my jeans so that I wouldn't need to worry about my back showing during prayer at the mosque. Unfortunately, I pinned my scarf a little too tightly and it bothered me the entire evening. During the day, I had not had this problem...
When my friend and I got to the mosque around 8:30, we entered a cafeteria-like room crowded with women and children, and we found seats at a table in the back. (The men were in an adjacent room.) There were napkins, cups, spoons, and jugs of water on each table... and in the center of each table was a plate of dates. They were mesmerizing. Prayers were being piped in through speakers on the wall, and as soon as those were through, we all took a date and ate it slowly. I'd never eaten a date before, and it was glorious. Apparently dates contain a very high amount of potassium, which helps with hydration.
(Ramadan is celebrated to reflect the time when the prophet Muhammad received the words of the Quran, and he ate dates and drank water to break his fast. Today, the fast is broken each night in this way.)
After this small nourishment, the sunset prayers were done as a group in the main rooms of the mosque. There were so many people there. So many. The men pray on the first floor, in a huge room in which one person at the front with a microphone leads the prayers. The women and children are on the second floor, which overlooks the men's area on the first floor. Both areas are carpeted in a certain pattern that designates individual spots for prayer. Basically, the carpet patterns are shoulder-width apart in even lines that allow enough room for prostration.
The actual prayer is led in Arabic, and consists of a series of motions. Standing with arms against the stomach, bending at the waist, standing again, prostrating, kneeling, prostrating, standing, and repeating this different numbers of times based on the time of day.
After the sunset prayer was the feast. We returned to the dining area where we had eaten the dates, and we were served plates heaped with lamb meat, roasted chicken, rice, different sauces and stews, nan, salad... so delicious. I kept thinking that someone had made all of this food, but hadn't even been able to try it. I was lucky to be busy in an office all day and not thinking about food... but being in a kitchen with all those delicious smells?
After this meal, there was about an hour to kill before the next prayer time, so my friend and I went... to McDonald's for coffee. We knew it was ridiculous, but we had some great conversation, and she explained to me a lot more about what was happening at the mosque.
And finally, back at the mosque, we did more group prayers. My friend had explained that these would be a little different than the normal ones that I had just finally learned. The leader of the prayers would read the Quran in Arabic throughout, and the idea is to read the entire book over the course of the 30 days. This usually goes on for over 3 hours per evening of Ramadan, but we only stayed for the first hour or so. This time, the rooms were even more crowded. We prayed in an overflow room with lots of women and children.
I mentioned the speakers on the walls of the rooms; every room and area in the mosque has these speakers so that everyone can hear not only the calls to prayer, but also be involved in whatever is happening at the mosque at any time. So even in our overflow room, we felt very connected to what was happening in the main area.
The atmosphere the entire evening was mixed. Everyone was hungry and tired. Hungry and tired mothers struggled to control their hungry and tired children, who were constantly shrieking. When the food was being served, some people were rude or demanding. But at the same time, there was an overwhelming attitude of celebration, gratefulness, and that of wanting to help others. Ramadan is a time when every good deed done by a Muslim during that month will be magnified in the afterlife. It's like a race or contest to do the most good things with the best attitude possible in your heart.
I learned a lot about myself through this experience. It also solidified in my mind some of the values that I stand for and why, including modesty. I actually appreciate that men and women are so separate at the mosque. I never once thought about how I looked or appeared. The focus was only on attitude, and that was wonderful.
When my friend and I got to the mosque around 8:30, we entered a cafeteria-like room crowded with women and children, and we found seats at a table in the back. (The men were in an adjacent room.) There were napkins, cups, spoons, and jugs of water on each table... and in the center of each table was a plate of dates. They were mesmerizing. Prayers were being piped in through speakers on the wall, and as soon as those were through, we all took a date and ate it slowly. I'd never eaten a date before, and it was glorious. Apparently dates contain a very high amount of potassium, which helps with hydration.
(Ramadan is celebrated to reflect the time when the prophet Muhammad received the words of the Quran, and he ate dates and drank water to break his fast. Today, the fast is broken each night in this way.)
After this small nourishment, the sunset prayers were done as a group in the main rooms of the mosque. There were so many people there. So many. The men pray on the first floor, in a huge room in which one person at the front with a microphone leads the prayers. The women and children are on the second floor, which overlooks the men's area on the first floor. Both areas are carpeted in a certain pattern that designates individual spots for prayer. Basically, the carpet patterns are shoulder-width apart in even lines that allow enough room for prostration.
The actual prayer is led in Arabic, and consists of a series of motions. Standing with arms against the stomach, bending at the waist, standing again, prostrating, kneeling, prostrating, standing, and repeating this different numbers of times based on the time of day.
After the sunset prayer was the feast. We returned to the dining area where we had eaten the dates, and we were served plates heaped with lamb meat, roasted chicken, rice, different sauces and stews, nan, salad... so delicious. I kept thinking that someone had made all of this food, but hadn't even been able to try it. I was lucky to be busy in an office all day and not thinking about food... but being in a kitchen with all those delicious smells?
After this meal, there was about an hour to kill before the next prayer time, so my friend and I went... to McDonald's for coffee. We knew it was ridiculous, but we had some great conversation, and she explained to me a lot more about what was happening at the mosque.
And finally, back at the mosque, we did more group prayers. My friend had explained that these would be a little different than the normal ones that I had just finally learned. The leader of the prayers would read the Quran in Arabic throughout, and the idea is to read the entire book over the course of the 30 days. This usually goes on for over 3 hours per evening of Ramadan, but we only stayed for the first hour or so. This time, the rooms were even more crowded. We prayed in an overflow room with lots of women and children.
I mentioned the speakers on the walls of the rooms; every room and area in the mosque has these speakers so that everyone can hear not only the calls to prayer, but also be involved in whatever is happening at the mosque at any time. So even in our overflow room, we felt very connected to what was happening in the main area.
The atmosphere the entire evening was mixed. Everyone was hungry and tired. Hungry and tired mothers struggled to control their hungry and tired children, who were constantly shrieking. When the food was being served, some people were rude or demanding. But at the same time, there was an overwhelming attitude of celebration, gratefulness, and that of wanting to help others. Ramadan is a time when every good deed done by a Muslim during that month will be magnified in the afterlife. It's like a race or contest to do the most good things with the best attitude possible in your heart.
I learned a lot about myself through this experience. It also solidified in my mind some of the values that I stand for and why, including modesty. I actually appreciate that men and women are so separate at the mosque. I never once thought about how I looked or appeared. The focus was only on attitude, and that was wonderful.
12 August 2011
Mid-day update
This morning felt a little unreal because of all the waking, then sleeping, then waking, etc. Fasting and wearing hijab have been uneventful. I think my level of self control and discipline on a daily basis are extremely high, so the most difficult part of my experience so far has been keeping focus on why I'm doing this.
I don't really care what people think of me or how they perceive me. Other than my coworkers, I haven't come into contact with anyone else I know. There have just been some double-takes in the hallway, like the maintenance guy I always say hello to.
The point isn't to look different or to stand out, but rather to learn and to help me focus on what should be important to me. And let me tell you how wonderful it is to walk down the street and know that people are not judging me based on appearance. Let's be real - whenever you see a person, you automatically put them in a category: good-looking or not. Today, I feel like people are looking at me and saying, "She's probably a nice person." Which creates its own problem in my mind, because I don't know if they're right. But at least they aren't checking me out.
I'm trying to be a nice person. It's something that I honestly have not been too concerned with lately. Living alone and pursuing a career can make you selfish... but at the same time, I guess I'm the only one who truly sees it. Look at how much I'm learning already today.
Tonight I'm going to the mosque, and I will definitely be writing about the following: the atmosphere, what food we break the fast with (I have no idea what it will be), and reflection on the day.
Do you have any questions or thoughts? Please share.
I don't really care what people think of me or how they perceive me. Other than my coworkers, I haven't come into contact with anyone else I know. There have just been some double-takes in the hallway, like the maintenance guy I always say hello to.
The point isn't to look different or to stand out, but rather to learn and to help me focus on what should be important to me. And let me tell you how wonderful it is to walk down the street and know that people are not judging me based on appearance. Let's be real - whenever you see a person, you automatically put them in a category: good-looking or not. Today, I feel like people are looking at me and saying, "She's probably a nice person." Which creates its own problem in my mind, because I don't know if they're right. But at least they aren't checking me out.
I'm trying to be a nice person. It's something that I honestly have not been too concerned with lately. Living alone and pursuing a career can make you selfish... but at the same time, I guess I'm the only one who truly sees it. Look at how much I'm learning already today.
Tonight I'm going to the mosque, and I will definitely be writing about the following: the atmosphere, what food we break the fast with (I have no idea what it will be), and reflection on the day.
Do you have any questions or thoughts? Please share.
11 August 2011
Ramadan question:
Caitlin, is your observance of one day of Ramadan insulting to Muslims?
No. Everyone I have met welcomes participation and interest in their religion. More importantly, we need to stop viewing Islam as "other." Do we get insulted by those who go to church only on Christmas and Easter? Do we call out as hypocrites those who pray to God only in the hardest times of their lives? What about people who wear crosses or get them tattooed to their bodies because they like how the cross looks or because they see symbolism in the object? See what I mean... we shouldn't judge Muslims and Islam the way we have been taught in our culture.
Muslims, like those of other religions, believe that it is your heart and attitude that matter. I'm not doing this day for "fun" or because it's cool. Like I said in my last post, I want to learn and experience it, and I want to show outward respect for my Muslim friends. To reiterate, have you ever gone to church just because someone you respect invited you? Have you prayed for a loved one because they believed, even if you didn't? To me, the concepts are the same.
No. Everyone I have met welcomes participation and interest in their religion. More importantly, we need to stop viewing Islam as "other." Do we get insulted by those who go to church only on Christmas and Easter? Do we call out as hypocrites those who pray to God only in the hardest times of their lives? What about people who wear crosses or get them tattooed to their bodies because they like how the cross looks or because they see symbolism in the object? See what I mean... we shouldn't judge Muslims and Islam the way we have been taught in our culture.
Muslims, like those of other religions, believe that it is your heart and attitude that matter. I'm not doing this day for "fun" or because it's cool. Like I said in my last post, I want to learn and experience it, and I want to show outward respect for my Muslim friends. To reiterate, have you ever gone to church just because someone you respect invited you? Have you prayed for a loved one because they believed, even if you didn't? To me, the concepts are the same.
Preparing for a day of Ramadan
I’m going to be observing one day of Ramadan with a Muslim friend tomorrow. Ramadan is a month-long period of fasting during daylight hours, and this year it falls during August.
When I went to (a Christian) high school, we often discussed Ramadan, and Islam for that matter. I used to think Ramadan was a sham because you can totally eat and drink before sunrise and after sundown. Cheating. Lame. Foot in mouth.
I should also remind my readers that when I was in high school, Ramadan fell during the winter. Much shorter day!
But it’s still not going to be easy.
Tomorrow I’m going to be waking up at 5:00 a.m. to make and eat breakfast – probably something like oatmeal! Since I’m not a Muslim and don’t know Arabic, I’m not going to actually do the Fajr prayer at 5:15 a.m., but I will at that time meditate on what Islam means.
Then I will go back to sleep.
At 6:38 a.m. is the sunrise prayer.
After this, I will probably go back to sleep until 8:00, even though I usually wake up at 6:15 to go for a walk/run and do things around the apartment before work. But tomorrow, I don’t want to be tempted to eat before work at 9:00.
I’m going to be wearing hijab, or a head covering, as well as fasting. The Ramadan practice is to obviously not eat anything, but also to not drink. Water is acceptable only if absolutely necessary and if done in private.
I let my coworkers know about the hijab, because wouldn’t that be awkward if I hadn’t said a thing? I think they probably wouldn’t recognize me at first, and then I’d have a ton of explaining to do all at once. I really don’t want any attention tomorrow.
I sent a brief email to all 12 or so of my coworkers this afternoon, and everyone has been very supportive – not that I expected any differently. What I’m doing is really not that big of a deal, anyway… but seriously, I had to at least mention that/why I’m going to look different tomorrow.
Anyway, the next prayer time after 6:38 a.m. is 1:38 p.m. Since I’m not taking a lunch break, I’ll take a moment to meditate again and reflect on the day and what Islam means to me.
In the evening, after a nap at home, I’m going with my friend to the mosque – the same one I went to earlier this year. The 8:37 p.m. Maghrib prayer is when the sun goes down, so afterward everyone eats together, and then sticks around for the 10:02 p.m. Isha prayer, the fifth and final one of the day.
Now the big question is: Why am I doing this?
First of all, I was invited to the evening at the mosque, which I immediately accepted. And then I thought it would be hypocritical and rude if I didn’t fast all day. More importantly, I just want to. Islam – cultural Islam in particular – has really played a huge role in my life the past few years. Out of respect for my friends and what they have brought to my life, I am observing one day of Ramadan. I want to dig deeper into who I am, what I stand for, and how Islam has impacted how I view the world. I have a great respect for the religion and my Muslim friends.
When I went to (a Christian) high school, we often discussed Ramadan, and Islam for that matter. I used to think Ramadan was a sham because you can totally eat and drink before sunrise and after sundown. Cheating. Lame. Foot in mouth.
I should also remind my readers that when I was in high school, Ramadan fell during the winter. Much shorter day!
But it’s still not going to be easy.
Tomorrow I’m going to be waking up at 5:00 a.m. to make and eat breakfast – probably something like oatmeal! Since I’m not a Muslim and don’t know Arabic, I’m not going to actually do the Fajr prayer at 5:15 a.m., but I will at that time meditate on what Islam means.
Then I will go back to sleep.
At 6:38 a.m. is the sunrise prayer.
After this, I will probably go back to sleep until 8:00, even though I usually wake up at 6:15 to go for a walk/run and do things around the apartment before work. But tomorrow, I don’t want to be tempted to eat before work at 9:00.
I’m going to be wearing hijab, or a head covering, as well as fasting. The Ramadan practice is to obviously not eat anything, but also to not drink. Water is acceptable only if absolutely necessary and if done in private.
I let my coworkers know about the hijab, because wouldn’t that be awkward if I hadn’t said a thing? I think they probably wouldn’t recognize me at first, and then I’d have a ton of explaining to do all at once. I really don’t want any attention tomorrow.
I sent a brief email to all 12 or so of my coworkers this afternoon, and everyone has been very supportive – not that I expected any differently. What I’m doing is really not that big of a deal, anyway… but seriously, I had to at least mention that/why I’m going to look different tomorrow.
Anyway, the next prayer time after 6:38 a.m. is 1:38 p.m. Since I’m not taking a lunch break, I’ll take a moment to meditate again and reflect on the day and what Islam means to me.
In the evening, after a nap at home, I’m going with my friend to the mosque – the same one I went to earlier this year. The 8:37 p.m. Maghrib prayer is when the sun goes down, so afterward everyone eats together, and then sticks around for the 10:02 p.m. Isha prayer, the fifth and final one of the day.
Now the big question is: Why am I doing this?
First of all, I was invited to the evening at the mosque, which I immediately accepted. And then I thought it would be hypocritical and rude if I didn’t fast all day. More importantly, I just want to. Islam – cultural Islam in particular – has really played a huge role in my life the past few years. Out of respect for my friends and what they have brought to my life, I am observing one day of Ramadan. I want to dig deeper into who I am, what I stand for, and how Islam has impacted how I view the world. I have a great respect for the religion and my Muslim friends.
05 June 2011
Pegged as an Outsider
In reference to my previous post about wearing hijab to the mosque, I found myself on the opposite side of a situation that I initiate all the time – It’s me who is usually the one who awkwardly asks people where they’re from.
Example: At the Asian festival in Columbus, I spoke with a woman at a stall selling traditional Chinese art. I could tell by her accent that she was probably from Beijing, or at least northern China. I told her I was interested in the Chinese paper cuttings, and that I had lived in Lanzhou, Gansu. We chatted about western China for a while, and then that dreaded moment came.
“Where are you from?”
“Michigan.”
“Welcome to Ohio!” I said, and left it at that.
I find myself in this situation all the time, and I know that it’s me who is at fault. I’m genuinely curious about other languages and cultures - I’m not judging people for having an accent or different customs. But citizenship, nationality, and identity are touchy subjects for most people.
Another example: I met a woman from Uzbekistan a few weeks ago. When I first asked where she was from, her answer was "Well, I was born in Asia, then my family moved to Russia, and now I live in Cincinnati." We had been talking for about 10 minutes when I realized she must be from Kyrgyzstan or Uzbekistan, so I asked, "Which Asian country were you born in?" She was so surprised that I was familiar with her country!
So my turn came at Masjid Noor, a mosque in Dublin. I was washing my hands in the bathroom when a teenager smiled at me in the mirror. I smiled back and said hi.
“Where are you from?” she asked me.
I was completely caught off guard, not only by the words of her question, but by her unspoken assumption that I was different.
“I’m from Columbus.”
“Oh, cool. Did you come with someone today?”
“Yeah, I came with my friend. We work together.”
Being on the other side helps me to understand better. It made wonder what reasons the girl had for (correctly) guessing that I didn’t quite belong. But at the same time, I recognized her interest in me and my story for how I ended up at the conference at Masjid Noor. And then she hit me with this one:
“You look really beautiful in hijab.”
Example: At the Asian festival in Columbus, I spoke with a woman at a stall selling traditional Chinese art. I could tell by her accent that she was probably from Beijing, or at least northern China. I told her I was interested in the Chinese paper cuttings, and that I had lived in Lanzhou, Gansu. We chatted about western China for a while, and then that dreaded moment came.
“Where are you from?”
“Michigan.”
“Welcome to Ohio!” I said, and left it at that.
I find myself in this situation all the time, and I know that it’s me who is at fault. I’m genuinely curious about other languages and cultures - I’m not judging people for having an accent or different customs. But citizenship, nationality, and identity are touchy subjects for most people.
Another example: I met a woman from Uzbekistan a few weeks ago. When I first asked where she was from, her answer was "Well, I was born in Asia, then my family moved to Russia, and now I live in Cincinnati." We had been talking for about 10 minutes when I realized she must be from Kyrgyzstan or Uzbekistan, so I asked, "Which Asian country were you born in?" She was so surprised that I was familiar with her country!
So my turn came at Masjid Noor, a mosque in Dublin. I was washing my hands in the bathroom when a teenager smiled at me in the mirror. I smiled back and said hi.
“Where are you from?” she asked me.
I was completely caught off guard, not only by the words of her question, but by her unspoken assumption that I was different.
“I’m from Columbus.”
“Oh, cool. Did you come with someone today?”
“Yeah, I came with my friend. We work together.”
Being on the other side helps me to understand better. It made wonder what reasons the girl had for (correctly) guessing that I didn’t quite belong. But at the same time, I recognized her interest in me and my story for how I ended up at the conference at Masjid Noor. And then she hit me with this one:
“You look really beautiful in hijab.”
04 June 2011
The First Time I Wore Hijab
I can tell a good friend by how she suggests we spend time together. I got this text at work yesterday:
“I’m going to a conference tonight at Masjid Noor and was wondering if you’d like to come. There’s going to be some really great speakers. Let me know.”
Movies, a bar, shopping… not so much. A conference? On Islam? Heck yes. Friends for life.
“So I wanted to let you know, in case you were wondering, that you do not need to cover your hair at the Masjid. You can if you’d like, but it’s your decision, and totally ok if you don’t want to : )”
She came over after work and we ate portabella mushroom salad, and then I put on hijab. It was so normal, and that’s what I’m writing about. I put it on and walked out the door. We went to the bank and chatted with a woman at the ATM. I don’t even think she noticed my head covering. So normal. We drove to the mosque. All the women were in hijab, so of course it was normal. We did salat. So normal. We listened to a speaker. We did salat again, because it was that time. Another speaker. And salat. And a speaker. Beautiful.
Have you ever learned so much in one evening, yet you feel like you knew it all along?
“I’m going to a conference tonight at Masjid Noor and was wondering if you’d like to come. There’s going to be some really great speakers. Let me know.”
Movies, a bar, shopping… not so much. A conference? On Islam? Heck yes. Friends for life.
“So I wanted to let you know, in case you were wondering, that you do not need to cover your hair at the Masjid. You can if you’d like, but it’s your decision, and totally ok if you don’t want to : )”
She came over after work and we ate portabella mushroom salad, and then I put on hijab. It was so normal, and that’s what I’m writing about. I put it on and walked out the door. We went to the bank and chatted with a woman at the ATM. I don’t even think she noticed my head covering. So normal. We drove to the mosque. All the women were in hijab, so of course it was normal. We did salat. So normal. We listened to a speaker. We did salat again, because it was that time. Another speaker. And salat. And a speaker. Beautiful.
Have you ever learned so much in one evening, yet you feel like you knew it all along?
17 April 2011
Food Deserts
I live a food desert, something that’s getting a lot of attention in the news lately. (I prefer food desserts, which is eating cookies for dinner, but that’s a different blog post altogether.)
There isn’t, in my opinion, a good definition for “food desert,” but it’s basically a place where healthy, affordable food is hard to get. That’s totally relative, and one key that everyone seems to be missing is access. Example: There aren’t grocery stores in suburban neighborhoods. But those who live in the suburbs choose to live there and have cars. No one thinks twice about access to food.
(I was talking to a friend about this topic, and she was like, “Yeah, I totally live in a food desert, too. I have to drive, like, 5 minutes to get to a grocery store, and I’m like, OMG, I only need some organic soy milk. Like WTF, put a store closer!” Um… I think you’re totally missing the whole point???)
So as I was saying, in the so-called food deserts, access to the healthy, affordable food is the problem. Example: The nearest grocery store is maybe a mile or two away, but the residents don’t have cars to get there. It’s impractical to take toddlers in strollers on that long walk, for example, and I can tell you from experience that bags of apples, potatoes, and canned vegetables are really heavy. So this is where the problem starts – that it’s more convenient to go to the corner gas station or liquor store and buy unhealthy and more expensive food. (And then it’s more difficult to save up to buy a car, to move to a better location, or to otherwise change the various situations - a huge downward spiral.)
While we’re talking about convenience, I would just like to conveniently point out this convenience store that’s on my convenient bus route to Kroger. (Sign enlarged for your convenient inspection.)
Convinent. What?
But back to the point.
Who decided that having a car is an American right? What’s wrong with not having a car? There’s this certain attitude of pity and condescension about frequent bus usage going around. Like my last post suggested, some people believe that privileged white girls should not be riding the bus with all the riffraff (other than to commute to and from work downtown, when only the white and privileged are passengers). I’m kind of sick of this mindset.
And now back to the main point. I choose to live this way, and it's really fulfilling. I feel guilty, a lot of times, that my lifestyle is a type of game, a test, a challenge for myself – just one more way to learn something new and see the world from a different perspective. And as I’m looking around at the families around me, I see that not everyone else living this way has a choice about it. It’s not a game, and they can’t just get out of it at any time. I wonder if I would be happy if it weren’t my own decision.
There isn’t, in my opinion, a good definition for “food desert,” but it’s basically a place where healthy, affordable food is hard to get. That’s totally relative, and one key that everyone seems to be missing is access. Example: There aren’t grocery stores in suburban neighborhoods. But those who live in the suburbs choose to live there and have cars. No one thinks twice about access to food.
(I was talking to a friend about this topic, and she was like, “Yeah, I totally live in a food desert, too. I have to drive, like, 5 minutes to get to a grocery store, and I’m like, OMG, I only need some organic soy milk. Like WTF, put a store closer!” Um… I think you’re totally missing the whole point???)
So as I was saying, in the so-called food deserts, access to the healthy, affordable food is the problem. Example: The nearest grocery store is maybe a mile or two away, but the residents don’t have cars to get there. It’s impractical to take toddlers in strollers on that long walk, for example, and I can tell you from experience that bags of apples, potatoes, and canned vegetables are really heavy. So this is where the problem starts – that it’s more convenient to go to the corner gas station or liquor store and buy unhealthy and more expensive food. (And then it’s more difficult to save up to buy a car, to move to a better location, or to otherwise change the various situations - a huge downward spiral.)
While we’re talking about convenience, I would just like to conveniently point out this convenience store that’s on my convenient bus route to Kroger. (Sign enlarged for your convenient inspection.)
Convinent. What?
But back to the point.
Who decided that having a car is an American right? What’s wrong with not having a car? There’s this certain attitude of pity and condescension about frequent bus usage going around. Like my last post suggested, some people believe that privileged white girls should not be riding the bus with all the riffraff (other than to commute to and from work downtown, when only the white and privileged are passengers). I’m kind of sick of this mindset.
And now back to the main point. I choose to live this way, and it's really fulfilling. I feel guilty, a lot of times, that my lifestyle is a type of game, a test, a challenge for myself – just one more way to learn something new and see the world from a different perspective. And as I’m looking around at the families around me, I see that not everyone else living this way has a choice about it. It’s not a game, and they can’t just get out of it at any time. I wonder if I would be happy if it weren’t my own decision.
11 April 2011
Please Judge Me
“Ask that girl. Dude, ask her.”
It’s just another Friday night, and I’m waiting for the bus, pretending that I’m not being gawked at by some teenagers. I can’t tell whether they’re male or female: late teens, baggy clothes, hats and sunglasses. They’re laughing and seem good natured. It takes me back to high school and even college – just laughing with friends like there’s no one else around.
I’m listening to their conversation because I have nothing better to do. “Gawd, I’mma tired. When’ll this damn bus come?” And, “Dude, I need some WEED!”
And then I hear it again, like a dare, “Just ask that girl.”
One of them takes a step toward me. I’ve been pretending this whole time that I’m invisible. I don’t see them, and they don’t see me. Like when you’re a kid and you pretend you’re asleep so your dad will carry you upstairs.
“Miss! Hey, miss.”
The kid steps toward me, so I have no choice but to look him (her?) in the eye, and I can’t help but think he probably didn’t have a dad who carried him upstairs to bed.
“Miss, I was wondering..."
But I don’t let him finish.
“I think you already know that I don’t have any weed,” I say, firmly at first, but then I can’t help but grin at the absurdity of it.
The kid is just a few feet from me when he lunges back toward his friends, losing the courage he had to approach me. He’s doubled up with laughter and hiding his face out of shyness. They’re all laughing, and so am I.
“We just… want to know… the time,” they’re saying at once, gasping for air.
It is extremely hilarious, given the contrast.
“Miss, what’re you doin ridin the COTA?” the weed kid asks me, completely incredulous. I guess girls like me aren’t supposed to ride the bus at 9:15 at night.
I feel like someone punched me in the stomach.
“I always do,” I say feebly. But that isn’t even close to answering what he was asking.
We talk for a while, and they won’t stop calling me “miss,” even after I tell them my name.
And I think I might cry, but not because this is a story about a little white girl who earns the black kids’ respect because she rides the bus like they do. It’s not that; I’ll never pretend to understand them.
I’m going to cry because it’s a story about some sweet kids on the street corner who think that they will always deserve to be on that street corner waiting for the bus.
*This happened to me in February, and I can't get it out of my mind.*
It’s just another Friday night, and I’m waiting for the bus, pretending that I’m not being gawked at by some teenagers. I can’t tell whether they’re male or female: late teens, baggy clothes, hats and sunglasses. They’re laughing and seem good natured. It takes me back to high school and even college – just laughing with friends like there’s no one else around.
I’m listening to their conversation because I have nothing better to do. “Gawd, I’mma tired. When’ll this damn bus come?” And, “Dude, I need some WEED!”
And then I hear it again, like a dare, “Just ask that girl.”
One of them takes a step toward me. I’ve been pretending this whole time that I’m invisible. I don’t see them, and they don’t see me. Like when you’re a kid and you pretend you’re asleep so your dad will carry you upstairs.
“Miss! Hey, miss.”
The kid steps toward me, so I have no choice but to look him (her?) in the eye, and I can’t help but think he probably didn’t have a dad who carried him upstairs to bed.
“Miss, I was wondering..."
But I don’t let him finish.
“I think you already know that I don’t have any weed,” I say, firmly at first, but then I can’t help but grin at the absurdity of it.
The kid is just a few feet from me when he lunges back toward his friends, losing the courage he had to approach me. He’s doubled up with laughter and hiding his face out of shyness. They’re all laughing, and so am I.
“We just… want to know… the time,” they’re saying at once, gasping for air.
It is extremely hilarious, given the contrast.
“Miss, what’re you doin ridin the COTA?” the weed kid asks me, completely incredulous. I guess girls like me aren’t supposed to ride the bus at 9:15 at night.
I feel like someone punched me in the stomach.
“I always do,” I say feebly. But that isn’t even close to answering what he was asking.
We talk for a while, and they won’t stop calling me “miss,” even after I tell them my name.
And I think I might cry, but not because this is a story about a little white girl who earns the black kids’ respect because she rides the bus like they do. It’s not that; I’ll never pretend to understand them.
I’m going to cry because it’s a story about some sweet kids on the street corner who think that they will always deserve to be on that street corner waiting for the bus.
*This happened to me in February, and I can't get it out of my mind.*
23 February 2011
A Different Side to the Story
Ok, what the heck, right?
Here's a translation of what's going on.
The first line of text sets the stage: On Feb. 20, 2011, the American ambassador Jon Huntsman was at this Jasmine Revolution protest site in Beijing, and he was heard chanting in favor of the revolution. ("Let the revolution lead the way" type of thing.)
*Just a note here: I obviously can't confirm or deny that this was Jon Huntsman. Let's just go with it for the sake of the video!
Next is the remarks from two Chinese people, presumably behind the camera.
"Do you hope China will be in chaos?" (This question is directed at Huntsman.)
"This is the American ambassador in China!"
Next comes the red graphic and lines of text with some leading questions:
"Is this a maneuver to incite a Chinese “color revolution?”
Why is the American ambassador at the site making a farce by encouraging and cheering it on?
Who knows, but it was captured online."
Ok, now for the rest of the video in front of McDonald's. Here's the conversation:
“Excuse me, American ambassador, what did you run out here to do?”
“I just came to watch a little," Huntsman says.
“Is it that you hope China will be in chaos?”
“It cannot be,” says Huntsman.
“Aren’t you the American ambassador?" (No response.)
"This is the American ambassador to China!”
“None of you guys know?” (I think he's asking the crowd to confirm.)
“Don’t pretend you don’t know!” (Directed at Huntsman)
“You’re concealing that you understand and are pretending to be confused, aren’t you?” (Directed at Huntsman)
(Then the ambassador and his group walk away.)
Now back to the flashy text:
"It’s true! China’s problems are many! To reform the people’s livelihood, morals, beliefs, we have heavy anxiety.
But we don’t want to become Iraq!
We don’t want to become Tunisia!
We don’t want to become Egypt!
This country in chaos - 1.3 billion people - to count on America and these “revolutionaries leading the way” to still have food to eat?
Don’t f*cking bullsh*t! (repeated three times)"
Jasmine Revolution - My Translation
*Yesterday, a battle cry for the Jasmine Revolution in China was posted on the Boxun blog. I did my own translation of it, and I obviously tried to be as accurate as possible. There are a few points where I am not sure how correct my translation is, and I hope you can correct me if you find errors - the original Chinese text is at the bottom. Most importantly, know that I am not taking sides or advocating this revolution. I just think it's important to have this translated into English.*
"Boxun has received a new statement, circulated as received.
We are China’s “Jasmine” revolution instigators.
We have seen how Chinese society already has been totally defeated. Poisonous food outbreaks are happening thick and fast, and the younger generation has already been deeply harmed. The Chinese authoritarian regime has already lost faith and gotten benefit of the spoils of groups that cannot help themselves, day by day converting more to fascism. The system of rule and local administrative corruption, embezzling, and bribes run wild. Judiciary independence is taking steps backward, the officials and second-generation officials are monopolizing all of the resources in the system; society has become seriously polarized, and the disparity between rich and poor is increasing. Prices of commodities are rising, especially the skyrocketing housing prices, leading the people to resentment and boiling discontentment. The citizens’ human rights situation is especially horrible: taking people into custody at will, rampant kidnappings, and media censorship is becoming more and more stringent. Those conscious of the media have slowly shattered the rice bowl. The 35 articles of the “Constitution” exist in name only; public property is wantonly plundered, and the razing of buildings and moving out of the occupants leads to death, and even to people setting themselves on fire. China is already sinking its resources into a black hole, polluting the environment, committing ecocide, leaving a troubled legacy for our descendents.
We deeply feel the cause springs from the authoritarian regime. What has made us most uneasy is that the rulers have already completely blocked up our rising passageway. In the civil service exam, we can’t compete with the children of the officers. We have no method to do business with businesses, and the country is entering back into the influential countervailing capital. We can only carry on our backs the high prices and burden of high inflation, and struggle for survival, forever unable to see the future.
It’s we alone who possess this virtual space in which we sense our existence. This week we will incite the “Jasmine Revolution,” and it’s our hope that we can borrow the wave of democracy from the Middle East and North Africa, to press for reform or change, changing the present type of unfairness and unjustness, day by day sinking into our current situation. The success of the activities on Feb. 20 caused us delighted surprise, but also brought us grief and anger as masses of those who pursue freedom and love their country were harassed by the authorities without being given legal proceedings and were put under house arrest and detained, and even experienced bodily harm and cruelty to the point of nearly dying.
They are political prisoners,
They are the heroes of the Chinese people who pursue freedom and democracy, and they are the unyielding Jasmine revolutionaries!
For those who lost freedom including: Tang Shitian, Jiang Tianyong, Teng Biao, Liu Guohui, Chen Wei, Ran Yunfei, Li Tiantian, Yan Jinfeng, Shen Bin, Liang Haiyi… and also to those who lost their freedom and at any time could have their lives threatened, like the blind lawyer Chen and his wife…
For them, we will call for this:
Let us replace our internet profile pictures with the Jasmine image,
Right now, let us Jasmine line up to use MSN, QQ, Twitter, blogs, and Gtalk
Just like them, we also are unyielding Jasmine!
Let us use social networking sites to welcome our Jasmine heroes’ return.
At the same time, we urge the authorities as soon as possible to release the political prisoners who were illegally kidnapped. Otherwise, in the coming weeks, we will organize more mature, larger scale actions of the Jasmine Revolution against the authorities for their illegal abduction and persecution!
If before midnight on Thursday, the authorities have not released the prisoners, this week we will continue at 220 announced mobilization points (of which the locations may by modified). Detailed changes will be announced later because the internet conditions won’t allow us to announce them. So then, my friends, go forward this week to the meeting places.
When the time comes, we only need to go to the appointed spots, far from the onlookers, silently following, taking advantage of this opportunity, with courage shouting the slogans, and perhaps, changing history starting from this moment.
We will all come together as brothers and sisters. Please keep watch and help each other. If it happens that those who participate in the assembly receive adverse treatment to the point of the maximum that can be tolerated, do not delay in giving them support. When the meeting ends, do not leave behind any trash because we Chinese are of great character and are required to pursue democracy and freedom.
Right before dawn is the darkest moment, but the first light surely comes. Let us all together welcome in the dawn.
Our main focus and goals this week:
Demand that the authorities immediately, and without us having to meet any conditions, release Tang Shitian, Jiang Tianyong, Teng Biao, Liu Guohui, Gu Chuan, Chen Wei, Ran Yunfei, Li Tiantian, Yan Jinfeng, Shen Bin, Liang Haiyi, and also Chen and his wife.
Our slogans are these:
Release the political prisoners (the three characters for “political prisoners” can be replaced with specific names instead)
We want to eat
We want to work
We want housing
We want fairness
We want justice
Protect private property
Maintain judicial independence
Start political reform
End one party rule
Open the press restrictions
Allow freedom of the press
Long live freedom
Long live democracy"
博讯收到新版声明，原文照发：
我们是中国“茉莉花”革命的发起者。
我们看到，中国社会已经全面溃败，有毒食品层出不穷，连下一代都已经深受其害；中国专制政权已经失去信仰，成为利益分赃的团体而无力自救，日渐法西斯化；统治体系吏治腐败、贪污贿赂横行、司法独立全面倒退，官员及官二代垄断了所有的体制内资源；社会两极分化严重、贫富更加悬殊、物价上涨特别是房价飞涨而导致民怨沸腾；国人人权状况尤为恶劣，任意监禁、强制失踪广泛发生，新闻审查愈发严厉，有良知的媒体人纷纷被打碎饭碗，《宪法》三十五条形同虚设；民众财产被肆意掠夺，因拆迁而导致的死亡甚至自焚时有发生；中国已经沦为资源黑洞、环境污染、生态破坏，遗害子孙......
我们深感于，这一切的根源都源自于专制政权。更让我们不安的是，执政者已经全面堵塞了我们的上升通道。考公务员，我们竞争不过官二代；经商做生意，我们无法与“国进民退”的权贵资本抗衡，我们只能背负着高房价与高通胀的重负，挣扎求存，永远看不到未来。
我们唯一拥有的，就是虚拟空间给我们的存在感。我们在上周发起了中国“茉莉花革命”，就是希望能借北非中东的民主化浪潮，促使中国发生改良或变革，改变目前这种不公不义日渐沉沦的现状。
2月20日活动的成效很让我们惊喜，但我们也悲愤地看到，大批追求民主自由的爱国人士被当局未经法律程序骚扰、软禁及拘禁，甚至受到肉体上的残酷近害。
他们是政治犯，
他们是为中华民族追求自由民主的英雄，他们是不屈的茉莉花！
为了失去自由的唐吉田、江天勇、滕彪、刘国慧、陈卫、冉云飞、李天天、晏今锋、沈斌、梁海怡......也为了失去自由、并且随时有生命危险的盲人律师陈光诚夫妇......
为了他们，我们呼吁：
让我们将自己的网络ID的头像图标换成茉莉花吧，
现在就让我们的茉莉花在MSN、QQ、Twitter、博客、Gtalk上列队，
和他们一样，我们也是不屈的茉莉花！
让我们用互联网上茉莉花的花海来让加害人民者胆寒！
让我们用互联网上茉莉花的花海来迎接我们英雄的归来！
同时，我们敦促当局尽快释放这些非法绑架的政治犯，否则在即将到来的周未，我们将组织更成熟、更具规模的茉莉花革命行动来抗议当局对他们的非法绑架和迫害！
如果周四午夜前当局仍未释放这些政治犯，我们本周仍将继续在220公布的地点发动集会（部分地点略有变更），具体地点变更将随后公布， 如因网络条件无法公布，则请朋友们前往上周集合地点。
届时，我们只需要走到指定的地点，远远的围观，默默地跟随，顺势而为，勇敢地喊出你的口号，或许，历史就从这一刻开始改变。
走到一起来的，都是兄弟姐妹，请守望相助。如发生参与集会人员受到不良对待请以最大的容忍处理，旁人也请及时支持。集会结束时，不要留下垃圾，中国人，是高素质的，是有条件追求民主自由的。
黎明前更黑暗，但曙光一定要到来。让我们一起迎来黎明！
我们本周的主要具体目标:
要求当局立即无条件释放唐吉田、江天勇、滕彪、刘国慧、古川、陈卫、冉云飞、李天天、晏今锋、沈斌、梁海怡、陈光诚夫妇等人
我们的口号是：
释放政治犯 （“政治犯”三字也可用具体人名替代）
我们要吃饭
我们要工作
我们要住房
我们要公平
我们要公义
保障私有产权
维护司法独立
启动政治改革
结束一党专政
开放报禁
新闻自由
自由万岁
民主万岁
"Boxun has received a new statement, circulated as received.
We are China’s “Jasmine” revolution instigators.
We have seen how Chinese society already has been totally defeated. Poisonous food outbreaks are happening thick and fast, and the younger generation has already been deeply harmed. The Chinese authoritarian regime has already lost faith and gotten benefit of the spoils of groups that cannot help themselves, day by day converting more to fascism. The system of rule and local administrative corruption, embezzling, and bribes run wild. Judiciary independence is taking steps backward, the officials and second-generation officials are monopolizing all of the resources in the system; society has become seriously polarized, and the disparity between rich and poor is increasing. Prices of commodities are rising, especially the skyrocketing housing prices, leading the people to resentment and boiling discontentment. The citizens’ human rights situation is especially horrible: taking people into custody at will, rampant kidnappings, and media censorship is becoming more and more stringent. Those conscious of the media have slowly shattered the rice bowl. The 35 articles of the “Constitution” exist in name only; public property is wantonly plundered, and the razing of buildings and moving out of the occupants leads to death, and even to people setting themselves on fire. China is already sinking its resources into a black hole, polluting the environment, committing ecocide, leaving a troubled legacy for our descendents.
We deeply feel the cause springs from the authoritarian regime. What has made us most uneasy is that the rulers have already completely blocked up our rising passageway. In the civil service exam, we can’t compete with the children of the officers. We have no method to do business with businesses, and the country is entering back into the influential countervailing capital. We can only carry on our backs the high prices and burden of high inflation, and struggle for survival, forever unable to see the future.
It’s we alone who possess this virtual space in which we sense our existence. This week we will incite the “Jasmine Revolution,” and it’s our hope that we can borrow the wave of democracy from the Middle East and North Africa, to press for reform or change, changing the present type of unfairness and unjustness, day by day sinking into our current situation. The success of the activities on Feb. 20 caused us delighted surprise, but also brought us grief and anger as masses of those who pursue freedom and love their country were harassed by the authorities without being given legal proceedings and were put under house arrest and detained, and even experienced bodily harm and cruelty to the point of nearly dying.
They are political prisoners,
They are the heroes of the Chinese people who pursue freedom and democracy, and they are the unyielding Jasmine revolutionaries!
For those who lost freedom including: Tang Shitian, Jiang Tianyong, Teng Biao, Liu Guohui, Chen Wei, Ran Yunfei, Li Tiantian, Yan Jinfeng, Shen Bin, Liang Haiyi… and also to those who lost their freedom and at any time could have their lives threatened, like the blind lawyer Chen and his wife…
For them, we will call for this:
Let us replace our internet profile pictures with the Jasmine image,
Right now, let us Jasmine line up to use MSN, QQ, Twitter, blogs, and Gtalk
Just like them, we also are unyielding Jasmine!
Let us use social networking sites to welcome our Jasmine heroes’ return.
At the same time, we urge the authorities as soon as possible to release the political prisoners who were illegally kidnapped. Otherwise, in the coming weeks, we will organize more mature, larger scale actions of the Jasmine Revolution against the authorities for their illegal abduction and persecution!
If before midnight on Thursday, the authorities have not released the prisoners, this week we will continue at 220 announced mobilization points (of which the locations may by modified). Detailed changes will be announced later because the internet conditions won’t allow us to announce them. So then, my friends, go forward this week to the meeting places.
When the time comes, we only need to go to the appointed spots, far from the onlookers, silently following, taking advantage of this opportunity, with courage shouting the slogans, and perhaps, changing history starting from this moment.
We will all come together as brothers and sisters. Please keep watch and help each other. If it happens that those who participate in the assembly receive adverse treatment to the point of the maximum that can be tolerated, do not delay in giving them support. When the meeting ends, do not leave behind any trash because we Chinese are of great character and are required to pursue democracy and freedom.
Right before dawn is the darkest moment, but the first light surely comes. Let us all together welcome in the dawn.
Our main focus and goals this week:
Demand that the authorities immediately, and without us having to meet any conditions, release Tang Shitian, Jiang Tianyong, Teng Biao, Liu Guohui, Gu Chuan, Chen Wei, Ran Yunfei, Li Tiantian, Yan Jinfeng, Shen Bin, Liang Haiyi, and also Chen and his wife.
Our slogans are these:
Release the political prisoners (the three characters for “political prisoners” can be replaced with specific names instead)
We want to eat
We want to work
We want housing
We want fairness
We want justice
Protect private property
Maintain judicial independence
Start political reform
End one party rule
Open the press restrictions
Allow freedom of the press
Long live freedom
Long live democracy"
博讯收到新版声明，原文照发：
我们是中国“茉莉花”革命的发起者。
我们看到，中国社会已经全面溃败，有毒食品层出不穷，连下一代都已经深受其害；中国专制政权已经失去信仰，成为利益分赃的团体而无力自救，日渐法西斯化；统治体系吏治腐败、贪污贿赂横行、司法独立全面倒退，官员及官二代垄断了所有的体制内资源；社会两极分化严重、贫富更加悬殊、物价上涨特别是房价飞涨而导致民怨沸腾；国人人权状况尤为恶劣，任意监禁、强制失踪广泛发生，新闻审查愈发严厉，有良知的媒体人纷纷被打碎饭碗，《宪法》三十五条形同虚设；民众财产被肆意掠夺，因拆迁而导致的死亡甚至自焚时有发生；中国已经沦为资源黑洞、环境污染、生态破坏，遗害子孙......
我们深感于，这一切的根源都源自于专制政权。更让我们不安的是，执政者已经全面堵塞了我们的上升通道。考公务员，我们竞争不过官二代；经商做生意，我们无法与“国进民退”的权贵资本抗衡，我们只能背负着高房价与高通胀的重负，挣扎求存，永远看不到未来。
我们唯一拥有的，就是虚拟空间给我们的存在感。我们在上周发起了中国“茉莉花革命”，就是希望能借北非中东的民主化浪潮，促使中国发生改良或变革，改变目前这种不公不义日渐沉沦的现状。
2月20日活动的成效很让我们惊喜，但我们也悲愤地看到，大批追求民主自由的爱国人士被当局未经法律程序骚扰、软禁及拘禁，甚至受到肉体上的残酷近害。
他们是政治犯，
他们是为中华民族追求自由民主的英雄，他们是不屈的茉莉花！
为了失去自由的唐吉田、江天勇、滕彪、刘国慧、陈卫、冉云飞、李天天、晏今锋、沈斌、梁海怡......也为了失去自由、并且随时有生命危险的盲人律师陈光诚夫妇......
为了他们，我们呼吁：
让我们将自己的网络ID的头像图标换成茉莉花吧，
现在就让我们的茉莉花在MSN、QQ、Twitter、博客、Gtalk上列队，
和他们一样，我们也是不屈的茉莉花！
让我们用互联网上茉莉花的花海来让加害人民者胆寒！
让我们用互联网上茉莉花的花海来迎接我们英雄的归来！
同时，我们敦促当局尽快释放这些非法绑架的政治犯，否则在即将到来的周未，我们将组织更成熟、更具规模的茉莉花革命行动来抗议当局对他们的非法绑架和迫害！
如果周四午夜前当局仍未释放这些政治犯，我们本周仍将继续在220公布的地点发动集会（部分地点略有变更），具体地点变更将随后公布， 如因网络条件无法公布，则请朋友们前往上周集合地点。
届时，我们只需要走到指定的地点，远远的围观，默默地跟随，顺势而为，勇敢地喊出你的口号，或许，历史就从这一刻开始改变。
走到一起来的，都是兄弟姐妹，请守望相助。如发生参与集会人员受到不良对待请以最大的容忍处理，旁人也请及时支持。集会结束时，不要留下垃圾，中国人，是高素质的，是有条件追求民主自由的。
黎明前更黑暗，但曙光一定要到来。让我们一起迎来黎明！
我们本周的主要具体目标:
要求当局立即无条件释放唐吉田、江天勇、滕彪、刘国慧、古川、陈卫、冉云飞、李天天、晏今锋、沈斌、梁海怡、陈光诚夫妇等人
我们的口号是：
释放政治犯 （“政治犯”三字也可用具体人名替代）
我们要吃饭
我们要工作
我们要住房
我们要公平
我们要公义
保障私有产权
维护司法独立
启动政治改革
结束一党专政
开放报禁
新闻自由
自由万岁
民主万岁
06 February 2011
Progress?
I’m making progress on my trying-to-match-Chinese-life issues, and I think I’ve put forth a grand effort. I actually get online now (as you can tell): spending time on Facebook, Twitter, and even watching episodes of The Office and the Colbert Report on Hulu. Pretty good, huh?
But I feel so unproductive! Guilty, almost.
That is, except for the ability to listen to Chinese music all day on Baidu.com (the major search engine in China), to look up characters on my favorite online Chinese dictionary, and to read about what’s going on in China during the New Year and Spring Festival.
Moderation? Balance? My Chinese friend Li Li came to visit in January, and we talked a lot about balance. She is studying economics at the graduate level and is, understandably, seeking more balance in her life. As for me, I think I am balanced, and the rest of the world is out-of-whack.
For example, one of The Office episodes I watched is the one where Michael goes crazy on everyone about their New Year’s resolutions. And I totally agree with him. Buck up and get your crap done, everyone. It’s not hard. Stop reading this blog. Go clean your kitchen, and then read a book. Seriously, you do have the time. Because I did. Before I started watching The Office and refreshing my Facebook and Twitter pages.
Maybe this attitude I have comes from seeing how hard everyone in China works every day. In America, we have these ideas about what it means to work hard, earn money, achieve career goals. But the concepts are totally different in Asia. I realize that nothing is stopping me (or should be stopping me) from getting things done, so I try to do them.
I guess this goes back to that whole missing China idea. I had been trying to match that lifestyle, and then when I recently stopped, I simply made everything about China again in a different way. Just confirmation that I’m not crazy. Well, at least that I’m deciding to be crazy instead of it happening by accident. There’s a difference.
But I feel so unproductive! Guilty, almost.
That is, except for the ability to listen to Chinese music all day on Baidu.com (the major search engine in China), to look up characters on my favorite online Chinese dictionary, and to read about what’s going on in China during the New Year and Spring Festival.
Moderation? Balance? My Chinese friend Li Li came to visit in January, and we talked a lot about balance. She is studying economics at the graduate level and is, understandably, seeking more balance in her life. As for me, I think I am balanced, and the rest of the world is out-of-whack.
For example, one of The Office episodes I watched is the one where Michael goes crazy on everyone about their New Year’s resolutions. And I totally agree with him. Buck up and get your crap done, everyone. It’s not hard. Stop reading this blog. Go clean your kitchen, and then read a book. Seriously, you do have the time. Because I did. Before I started watching The Office and refreshing my Facebook and Twitter pages.
Maybe this attitude I have comes from seeing how hard everyone in China works every day. In America, we have these ideas about what it means to work hard, earn money, achieve career goals. But the concepts are totally different in Asia. I realize that nothing is stopping me (or should be stopping me) from getting things done, so I try to do them.
I guess this goes back to that whole missing China idea. I had been trying to match that lifestyle, and then when I recently stopped, I simply made everything about China again in a different way. Just confirmation that I’m not crazy. Well, at least that I’m deciding to be crazy instead of it happening by accident. There’s a difference.
05 February 2011
Character-Based Tweeting
My last post was about tweeting in Chinese. Apologies to my English-speaking followers… But it’s so easy, really. The 140 characters that Twitter allows is an essay in Chinese.
That is not an exaggeration. I applied for a job in Beijing last year, and the application had a <100 character personal essay requirement.
It makes me want to tear my hair out that there aren’t more Chinese tweets out there. I never come close to using all 140 characters… the unfathomable opportunities for character-based tweeting are not being tapped into, and something should be done about it.
So I am trying.
I’m really hoping to get some kind of following among Chinese speakers of any nationality on Twitter, though, so I’ll be keeping up with the annoying Chinese tweets until I run out of things to say. Now, if only I had a phone that supported Chinese characters...!
That is not an exaggeration. I applied for a job in Beijing last year, and the application had a <100 character personal essay requirement.
It makes me want to tear my hair out that there aren’t more Chinese tweets out there. I never come close to using all 140 characters… the unfathomable opportunities for character-based tweeting are not being tapped into, and something should be done about it.
So I am trying.
I’m really hoping to get some kind of following among Chinese speakers of any nationality on Twitter, though, so I’ll be keeping up with the annoying Chinese tweets until I run out of things to say. Now, if only I had a phone that supported Chinese characters...!
...And in case you're interested:
If you speak Chinese and follow me on Twitter, I'm doing an un-translatable, sarcastic, and satiric series on how to get a Chinese boyfriend. Just some lessons I've learned along the way (all these tweets start out with "找中国男朋友，第几课.")
If you speak English, you lose out because A) the concepts are way too "Chinese" to explain, B) I guess I could explain them, but not in under 140 characters, but C) wouldn't be good enough to blog in English about.
You can try to translate them, but then you're not allowed to judge me on the awful translation and the fact that you still don't understand.
If you speak English, you lose out because A) the concepts are way too "Chinese" to explain, B) I guess I could explain them, but not in under 140 characters, but C) wouldn't be good enough to blog in English about.
You can try to translate them, but then you're not allowed to judge me on the awful translation and the fact that you still don't understand.
My Chinese New Year
I celebrated Chinese New Year on Friday night (instead of Wednesday) by going to a party hosted by the Chinese Business Professional Association at the OSU Fisher College of Business.
My Sichuan friend who I graduated with at Muskingum, Tao Huang (left), is getting his MAcc from OSU and helped organize the event.
Happy Year of the Rabbit! 兔年快乐！
The celebration started with dinner catered by Lee's Garden, and then the performances started. There was a really impressive lion dance that involved the dancers lifting each other into the air, and then we watched a video of professors trying to give greetings in Chinese - hilarious! Next came the music segment, and I definitely knew all the songs and their artists, much to the chagrin of my Chinese companions. "No, I swear to you, Cai Yi Lin 蔡依林 sings this song, not JJ Lin 林俊杰!"
Another highlight was the Chinese dress qipao 旗袍 show. This past week I worked hard to alter my own dress - I lost a lot of weight since I had it made in China in 2008. I successfully took in all the seams and darts, which was a huge project. But anyway, the women walked in with flowers, ribbons, fans, feather boas, and other props, and their variety of dresses were really beautiful.
After the performances were games and prizes, and everyone just mingled and had fun for the rest of the time. In this picture I'm playing the kongzhu 空竹, like a yo-yo and top combination.
Obviously, my favorite part of celebrating the Chinese New Year was speaking and listening to the Chinese language! I'm always amazed at how easily everything comes back to me, but also how much I have to learn and practice. Totally contemplating a trip to China within the next year or two...?
Photo collage from the New Year party: Red envelopes containing Chinese money - a Chinese tradition; Brush and ink for Chinese calligraphy; Two of the cutest children on the earth; Baby slippers and decorations; Fan with Beijing opera masks and a bowl of green tea leaves.
新年快乐，恭喜你发财！ 兔年吉祥！
(Just some "Happy New Year" type sayings... I refuse to translate words like "prosperous" and "auspicious" like that's normal. Not going to do it.)
My Sichuan friend who I graduated with at Muskingum, Tao Huang (left), is getting his MAcc from OSU and helped organize the event.
Happy Year of the Rabbit! 兔年快乐！
The celebration started with dinner catered by Lee's Garden, and then the performances started. There was a really impressive lion dance that involved the dancers lifting each other into the air, and then we watched a video of professors trying to give greetings in Chinese - hilarious! Next came the music segment, and I definitely knew all the songs and their artists, much to the chagrin of my Chinese companions. "No, I swear to you, Cai Yi Lin 蔡依林 sings this song, not JJ Lin 林俊杰!"
Another highlight was the Chinese dress qipao 旗袍 show. This past week I worked hard to alter my own dress - I lost a lot of weight since I had it made in China in 2008. I successfully took in all the seams and darts, which was a huge project. But anyway, the women walked in with flowers, ribbons, fans, feather boas, and other props, and their variety of dresses were really beautiful.
After the performances were games and prizes, and everyone just mingled and had fun for the rest of the time. In this picture I'm playing the kongzhu 空竹, like a yo-yo and top combination.
Obviously, my favorite part of celebrating the Chinese New Year was speaking and listening to the Chinese language! I'm always amazed at how easily everything comes back to me, but also how much I have to learn and practice. Totally contemplating a trip to China within the next year or two...?
Photo collage from the New Year party: Red envelopes containing Chinese money - a Chinese tradition; Brush and ink for Chinese calligraphy; Two of the cutest children on the earth; Baby slippers and decorations; Fan with Beijing opera masks and a bowl of green tea leaves.
新年快乐，恭喜你发财！ 兔年吉祥！
(Just some "Happy New Year" type sayings... I refuse to translate words like "prosperous" and "auspicious" like that's normal. Not going to do it.)
30 January 2011
Filial Piety (孝)
Say what? That's right, there is a common Chinese word for a concept we Americans never really talk about in the same way. My Chinese-English dictionary translates Xiao4 孝 as "filial piety," but you might want to check your English-English dictionary on that one (link provided, you're welcome).
The New York Times has an article about the Chinese government proposing legislation to enforce this concept of xiao 孝, or familial duty. In effect, the legislation would accept lawsuits filed against adult children who cause their parents to feel forgotten.
I'm not even going to discuss the collapse of social security and how it might be a good idea for the younger generation to take care of their elderly parents... Instead, let's talk about this in different terms: human rights.
Which country is having human rights issues? Can we talk about the neglect of American elderly for just a moment, please?
For work this fall I attended a Judicial College Summit on Aging seminar that served to teach and prepare members of the Ohio judiciary about the aging population and its affect on courts, laws, etc. I was emotionally scarred by a graphic video about a 93-year-old Ohio woman who was raped by her 40-year-old grandson. He also regularly verbally abused her and stole her money, but those horrific actions almost don't seem worth mentioning in comparison.
In the Times article, the international director of the Gerontological Society of China is quoted as calling the proposed Chinese legislation a "really nice move." First of all, I'm wondering if that was awkwardly translated from Chinese, but more importantly, I agree with the director. Maybe it's not the government's role to step in in this way, but it's still an awesome idea.
Since spending time in China, I definitely feel more of a duty to my parents.
I have a friend from Beijing whose parents have given up everything for her, for her education, and for her future. My friend has studied in the U.S., in Canada, and is again abroad for grad school. Two years ago I asked her how it makes her feel that her parents do so much for her.
"I feel really indebted to them. I feel like I don't deserve it. But then I remember that I'm their only child, and I have a chance to give back to them. They have worked so hard for me, and one day I will have a great job so that I can take care of them when they are old. It's a give-and-take, and right now it's take."
In Central Asia, it's the duty of the youngest son to live with his parents for the rest of his life. So when he gets married, the youngest son and his wife live with the parents and grandparents in one huge, happy family. That's the way it's supposed to be, I think (not necessarily the part about it having to be the youngest son...).
As an adult, I have a better perspective on how much my parents did and do for me. But seeing xiao 孝 lived out in Asia has shown me how to respond to those feelings of appreciation. It doesn't count if you don't act on it. Saying "thank you" doesn't really mean that much.
Besides feeding me, clothing me, and giving me a private school education, besides putting up with my bratty teenage years, they taught me the most important thing: how to learn. I remember my mom teaching me to read before I was three years old. I remember my dad explaining the concepts of addition and subtraction to me before I went to Kindergarten. Going to the doctor was a biology lesson, and dominating the summer reading program at the library was the best part of summer.
So, while there is no law that I have to take care of them when they are old, my parents can count on that happening. So, mom and dad, please don't be mad if I spend the years in between living abroad...
The New York Times has an article about the Chinese government proposing legislation to enforce this concept of xiao 孝, or familial duty. In effect, the legislation would accept lawsuits filed against adult children who cause their parents to feel forgotten.
I'm not even going to discuss the collapse of social security and how it might be a good idea for the younger generation to take care of their elderly parents... Instead, let's talk about this in different terms: human rights.
Which country is having human rights issues? Can we talk about the neglect of American elderly for just a moment, please?
For work this fall I attended a Judicial College Summit on Aging seminar that served to teach and prepare members of the Ohio judiciary about the aging population and its affect on courts, laws, etc. I was emotionally scarred by a graphic video about a 93-year-old Ohio woman who was raped by her 40-year-old grandson. He also regularly verbally abused her and stole her money, but those horrific actions almost don't seem worth mentioning in comparison.
In the Times article, the international director of the Gerontological Society of China is quoted as calling the proposed Chinese legislation a "really nice move." First of all, I'm wondering if that was awkwardly translated from Chinese, but more importantly, I agree with the director. Maybe it's not the government's role to step in in this way, but it's still an awesome idea.
Since spending time in China, I definitely feel more of a duty to my parents.
I have a friend from Beijing whose parents have given up everything for her, for her education, and for her future. My friend has studied in the U.S., in Canada, and is again abroad for grad school. Two years ago I asked her how it makes her feel that her parents do so much for her.
"I feel really indebted to them. I feel like I don't deserve it. But then I remember that I'm their only child, and I have a chance to give back to them. They have worked so hard for me, and one day I will have a great job so that I can take care of them when they are old. It's a give-and-take, and right now it's take."
In Central Asia, it's the duty of the youngest son to live with his parents for the rest of his life. So when he gets married, the youngest son and his wife live with the parents and grandparents in one huge, happy family. That's the way it's supposed to be, I think (not necessarily the part about it having to be the youngest son...).
As an adult, I have a better perspective on how much my parents did and do for me. But seeing xiao 孝 lived out in Asia has shown me how to respond to those feelings of appreciation. It doesn't count if you don't act on it. Saying "thank you" doesn't really mean that much.
Besides feeding me, clothing me, and giving me a private school education, besides putting up with my bratty teenage years, they taught me the most important thing: how to learn. I remember my mom teaching me to read before I was three years old. I remember my dad explaining the concepts of addition and subtraction to me before I went to Kindergarten. Going to the doctor was a biology lesson, and dominating the summer reading program at the library was the best part of summer.
So, while there is no law that I have to take care of them when they are old, my parents can count on that happening. So, mom and dad, please don't be mad if I spend the years in between living abroad...
29 January 2011
Brain Activity
Previously, I wrote about realizing that almost everything in my life now is tied to what my life was like in China.
Both times I returned from China, what hit me the most stepping off the plane was how little my brain had to work. All the signs were in English. All the conversation was in English. I could understand everything going on around me with only the smallest amount of brain activity.
It was mind-numbing, really. So what did I do to cope? My mindset became that if I’m not learning something, I’m wasting my time.
I notice this in getting caught up with small projects I have at work. I recently edited a program that was done in Russian with an English translator on the set. I had to piece it all together, with a cut every 10 seconds or so. I got this project because no one else in the world wanted to touch it. The host of the program even considered it a lost cause. But I eagerly threw myself into editing it - even studying some Russian at home, and I learned a lot of Russian in the process (mostly things like “for example,” “in the whole world,” and “first of all,” but you have to start somewhere!).
As for outside of work, I don’t even know where to begin. I read continuously. My current projects are learning about economics and the histories of both world wars. I’m not trying to be an expert; I just don’t want to be an idiot.
I mentioned in one of my media posts that I don’t listen to music. That’s a lie! When I’m not listening to NPR, I’m listening to Chinese music. Musically, most of it is horrible stuff. But it’s good for my Chinese. I feel like I’m living in an ABC (American-Born Chinese) household: English in public, Chinese at home. I force myself to think and sometimes write in Chinese. It’s becoming more of a challenge since I haven’t been immersed in so long.
I just miss the learning environment I had in China. As I explained before, my mind was inundated with new information to process all the time. And the Chinese language itself – who could ever learn all the characters and completely master it? Even native Chinese with college degrees don’t know every character. And then there are the traditional characters, ancient characters, and dialects. The dream world of someone who loves to learn, right?
Both times I returned from China, what hit me the most stepping off the plane was how little my brain had to work. All the signs were in English. All the conversation was in English. I could understand everything going on around me with only the smallest amount of brain activity.
It was mind-numbing, really. So what did I do to cope? My mindset became that if I’m not learning something, I’m wasting my time.
I notice this in getting caught up with small projects I have at work. I recently edited a program that was done in Russian with an English translator on the set. I had to piece it all together, with a cut every 10 seconds or so. I got this project because no one else in the world wanted to touch it. The host of the program even considered it a lost cause. But I eagerly threw myself into editing it - even studying some Russian at home, and I learned a lot of Russian in the process (mostly things like “for example,” “in the whole world,” and “first of all,” but you have to start somewhere!).
As for outside of work, I don’t even know where to begin. I read continuously. My current projects are learning about economics and the histories of both world wars. I’m not trying to be an expert; I just don’t want to be an idiot.
I mentioned in one of my media posts that I don’t listen to music. That’s a lie! When I’m not listening to NPR, I’m listening to Chinese music. Musically, most of it is horrible stuff. But it’s good for my Chinese. I feel like I’m living in an ABC (American-Born Chinese) household: English in public, Chinese at home. I force myself to think and sometimes write in Chinese. It’s becoming more of a challenge since I haven’t been immersed in so long.
I just miss the learning environment I had in China. As I explained before, my mind was inundated with new information to process all the time. And the Chinese language itself – who could ever learn all the characters and completely master it? Even native Chinese with college degrees don’t know every character. And then there are the traditional characters, ancient characters, and dialects. The dream world of someone who loves to learn, right?
26 January 2011
Change of Pace
I got totally pumped about studying Chinese more after being introduced to “Feichang Fresh,” a group of international students in Beijing who produced some songs in Chinese. I feel like the guys in the group are totally genuine, yet their sense of humor about China is apparent in their music videos.
The video that made them “famous” (in China) is “A Beijing Love Song” about how awesome the city is. Don’t be fooled; they say things like “stoked” “put your hands up” and “drop the beat” in Chinese. Their second Chinese song, which they didn’t put English subtitles to, is “Shorty, Come Here,” and is about talking to a girl in a coffee shop.
I love that they are using a difficult, intimidating language in a cool, casual way. It really makes it seem more approachable to foreigners. I also love seeing the settings they use - typically Chinese places, like alleys, concrete walls with ads on them, weird exercise equipment in public locations, and rusty steamrollers.
Really, you should check out their videos.
The video that made them “famous” (in China) is “A Beijing Love Song” about how awesome the city is. Don’t be fooled; they say things like “stoked” “put your hands up” and “drop the beat” in Chinese. Their second Chinese song, which they didn’t put English subtitles to, is “Shorty, Come Here,” and is about talking to a girl in a coffee shop.
I love that they are using a difficult, intimidating language in a cool, casual way. It really makes it seem more approachable to foreigners. I also love seeing the settings they use - typically Chinese places, like alleys, concrete walls with ads on them, weird exercise equipment in public locations, and rusty steamrollers.
Really, you should check out their videos.
25 January 2011
The Medium is Not the Message (II)
I think I lost faith in America as I studied Chinese media. A common Chinese perspective is this: “We know about the media control in our country. It’s an organized, thought-out, and purposeful control that we can’t do much about. But in America, you all deny that control exists in any form, and you are blind to it, whatever it may be. Which is the scarier scenario?”
Obviously not knowing it’s there.
(Right?)
I’m not going to call out American media as being controlled by certain forces. It’s not really about media itself, but about how media affects and influences society and vice versa. It’s a cause-and-effect cycle that can’t end, except badly.
It’s not about the media, but about the message. (What is "the media," anyway?) It’s about the attitude that Americans have toward the rest of the world. How did we get like this?
My intent here is not to make a judgment, but to present thoughts and questions. What are your thoughts and questions?
Obviously not knowing it’s there.
(Right?)
I’m not going to call out American media as being controlled by certain forces. It’s not really about media itself, but about how media affects and influences society and vice versa. It’s a cause-and-effect cycle that can’t end, except badly.
It’s not about the media, but about the message. (What is "the media," anyway?) It’s about the attitude that Americans have toward the rest of the world. How did we get like this?
My intent here is not to make a judgment, but to present thoughts and questions. What are your thoughts and questions?
24 January 2011
The Medium is Not the Message (I)
One aspect of my life that changed since being in China is media consumption. Media reflects the society from which it comes, and in China the media is understandably different from that of western countries. I got used to that.
I don't have a TV, and I don't watch movies. I also don't listen to music. The only time I have internet at home is when my neighbors are kind (wink!). It may seem like I’m withdrawing from society, but I think the opposite has happened. I'm more aware of what's happening in the global community and less focused on my several hundred Facebook friends and their lives.
It's about the way you use media, right? So instead of limiting myself by always being online or inundating my mind with popular American culture, I think I'm freeing myself to learn about other things and to see the world from a different perspective.
What's the point? There are two things going on here. The first is that in China, I lived without these media as they existed in that country. And it wasn’t a big deal. Chinese TV was way too dramatic, and they spoke too fast, referencing historical and cultural references that I knew nothing about. My main internet usage was an online Chinese dictionary that I love.
The second aspect is that I was not only living without these Chinese media, I was also not using these English/American media. I didn’t have access to them, and even Facebook was usually blocked online. When I came back to the U.S., I wasn’t able to seamlessly jump back into the world of entertainment media, let alone all the conversations about the latest movies and music and TV shows. It was way too much work to go back and find out what I had missed, especially when I've never been all that into entertainment media, anyway.
And now I'm going to go read some Marshall McLuhan.
I don't have a TV, and I don't watch movies. I also don't listen to music. The only time I have internet at home is when my neighbors are kind (wink!). It may seem like I’m withdrawing from society, but I think the opposite has happened. I'm more aware of what's happening in the global community and less focused on my several hundred Facebook friends and their lives.
It's about the way you use media, right? So instead of limiting myself by always being online or inundating my mind with popular American culture, I think I'm freeing myself to learn about other things and to see the world from a different perspective.
What's the point? There are two things going on here. The first is that in China, I lived without these media as they existed in that country. And it wasn’t a big deal. Chinese TV was way too dramatic, and they spoke too fast, referencing historical and cultural references that I knew nothing about. My main internet usage was an online Chinese dictionary that I love.
The second aspect is that I was not only living without these Chinese media, I was also not using these English/American media. I didn’t have access to them, and even Facebook was usually blocked online. When I came back to the U.S., I wasn’t able to seamlessly jump back into the world of entertainment media, let alone all the conversations about the latest movies and music and TV shows. It was way too much work to go back and find out what I had missed, especially when I've never been all that into entertainment media, anyway.
And now I'm going to go read some Marshall McLuhan.
23 January 2011
My Life in the Mirror
I’m realizing more and more that the way I’m living my life now is a massive attempt to match what life was like for me in China. It’s not that I miss China necessarily; I miss what my life was like living there.
I miss being a stranger lost among a million faces, and I miss that my face stood out among them. (This winter, I’ve been often reminded of walking across the Lanzhou University campus, bundled up in a hat, scarf, hood, and mittens, with my face barely showing, and hearing students dozens of meters ahead of me commenting on the foreigner headed their way. How could they tell so quickly?)
Along the same lines, I miss the paradox of being completely and utterly alone in a city of 5 million people. I miss having my own tiny room in which to (try to) shut out the crazy, unrelenting sounds of the city. Most of all, though, I miss every single second of my existence being dedicated to some form of study and learning.
And so, without realizing it until recently, I’ve been making my American life mirror my international life as much as possible. It’s a yearning for something bigger, a desire to realize potential and purpose, and a crazy obsession with being economical and rational. At the same time, it’s an immensely fulfilling and happy quest.
I’m embracing it.
And I’m going to try to learn more about myself through blogging about it. Want to join?
I miss being a stranger lost among a million faces, and I miss that my face stood out among them. (This winter, I’ve been often reminded of walking across the Lanzhou University campus, bundled up in a hat, scarf, hood, and mittens, with my face barely showing, and hearing students dozens of meters ahead of me commenting on the foreigner headed their way. How could they tell so quickly?)
Along the same lines, I miss the paradox of being completely and utterly alone in a city of 5 million people. I miss having my own tiny room in which to (try to) shut out the crazy, unrelenting sounds of the city. Most of all, though, I miss every single second of my existence being dedicated to some form of study and learning.
And so, without realizing it until recently, I’ve been making my American life mirror my international life as much as possible. It’s a yearning for something bigger, a desire to realize potential and purpose, and a crazy obsession with being economical and rational. At the same time, it’s an immensely fulfilling and happy quest.
I’m embracing it.
And I’m going to try to learn more about myself through blogging about it. Want to join?
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